Page 73 of A Vow of Shadows
She jabbed a finger toward the portal we’d passed through. “Those souls need you.”
“They can wait.” I held up a hand before she could interject. She scowled but remained quiet. “You are my priority. I am made to ferry the dead, but I promised to protect you, and so I shall.”
“To free yourself?” There was a question in her eyes, a vulnerability that she hadn’t allowed me to see before.
Stepping into her space, I gave her time to retreat before placing my hands on either side of her face. I willed her to see the truth in my eyes, to hear the conviction in my voice. “To save us both, Kat.”
Her eyes flicked to Sam who shrugged as if to say “what can you do”. When her gaze returned to mine, she nodded. The movement was subtle, unsure, but it was there.
“Shall we?” A phantom pain tugged below my chest, but I ignored it as I gestured to my carriage. Katrin looked as though she wanted to say more but turned and entered the coach.
“Good luck with that one,” Sam said as we clasped hands.
“You’re sure you don’t want a ride?” I offered as distance was a curious thing in The Between.
“Van, you couldn’t pay me to enter that carriage right now.” He laughed, but I sensed it for the act that it was. His expression quickly sobered, his other hand coming up to grip my shoulder. “This will be an uphill battle.”
I nodded. “It already is. Thank you for all you’ve done for her, for us. It means a lot.”
“She deserves better.”
“We all do,” I said, clapping him on the back. “Next time I see you, bring allies.”
“I hope this is not farewell, my friend.” With a dip of his chin, Sam released my hand and strode into the mists.
I felt it then, not the pull of the soul, but something greater, like game pieces being set into motion. But if Behryn was king, and Katrin queen, did that make me a knight or a pawn?
Halfway through the journey to the manor, I heard a rustle of fabric as the curtain of the small front window was drawn aside. For several long moments, the galloping hooves were the only sound. As the silence stretched, I worried she was expecting me to speak first. I opened my mouth, but no words came out.
What was there to say?
I wouldn’t apologize for my actions. I’d vowed to protect her, and if that meant shirking my duties as Ferrier, so be it.
“Does it hurt when the souls call to you?” Katrin’s voice floated to me in the dark like an apparition, tentative and fragile.
My comfort had always been the furthest thing from my mind, and it took me a moment to answer. “Not usually. It can be unpleasant like a persistent tug, but over time, the tug grows stronger.”
“What happens if you ignore it completely?”
I lifted my eyes from the trail, considering. “When I was first enslaved, I fought it. I refused to answer the summons for days.At first, it was distracting. Then, it became painful. By the fifth day, the physical compulsion overpowered any will I had. It dragged me like a man possessed through the Corridor and back to the world of the living. That first night, I ferried three souls. To this day, I do not know if it was the length of time or the number of souls that finally beat me.”
“That sounds awful.”
I shrugged though she couldn’t see me. “It is the price I paid.”
“And what price shall I pay?” Her voice was little more than a whisper. I wasn’t sure if she’d meant for me to hear her, so I remained quiet, hoping she’d never have to pay a price and at the same time, suspecting that she already had.
We reached the manor and I pulled to a stop inside the gate. Dropping to a crouch, I spun to face the window and sought out her mismatched eyes within. “Your bargain is with me. If we fail, I’ll not hold you to any repercussions.”
“But Fate will.”
“Somehow, I got the sense that Fate was on your side.” Slipping from the driver’s seat, I made quick work of closing and locking the gate behind us—the first time I’d done so since Katrin had come. She looked at me curiously as I returned to the carriage and opened her door.
“It won’t stop Behryn,” I explained. “But it should help keep out anyone else that comes around or, at least, slow them down.” I made a show of commanding two shadows to stand guard at the gate as well, messengers who would alert me if anyone or anything came near. There was still Death’s Fangs to consider.
I sent two more shadows to sweep the manor while I untacked the horses. My fingers slipped into the familiar rhythm as Katrin waited for them to return.
“Sometimes, I think I made a mistake. That I was foolish to chase life instead of making the most of what I had. What if I’ve traded away the last days of my life for nothing?”