Page 35 of Grave Matter
The image of the dead wolf, its furry white beating heart, slams into my brain, along with Clayton’s words.
I saw a fortune teller. She told me I was going to die here.
No, wait. That’s not what he said. He said,She told me I would never leave this place.
Already, I can’t seem to trust my memory.
We go down the dark hall, and he leads me into his office. I notice he keeps it unlocked.
“Take a seat,” he says, going over to the window and pulling at the blinds enough that it dims the room. I’m reminded of my dream and have to force my brain to push the images away. I concentrate on him turning on his camera and then lighting a candle on his desk with a silver Zippo engraved with something. He slips it into his pocket before I can get a better look, the air filling with the scent of santal and musk.
“Do you have to film this?” I ask, sitting down in the leather chair. “This isn’t another counseling session.”
“I don’t know what this will be,” he says, taking his seat across from me and folding his hands on the desk. “And yes, I do have to film it.”
“What do you even do with the videos? Watch them?”
“Yes,” he says simply.
I shift in my seat, hit with a strange sense of desire. “Why?”
“Because you fascinate me, Syd,” he says. “And I’m your doctor. I’m trying to…make you better.”
I hope I’m not blushing. “Why do I fascinate you?”
“Many reasons. One of which is why I suppose you wanted to talk to me. You think a dead wolf attacked you.”
“I don’t think, I know! It was dead,” I tell him adamantly. “Wasbeing the operative word.”
“Tell me what happened, from the beginning,” he says, taking out a pad of paper and a pen.
“Well, first, I had to deal with Clayton, who followed me through the woods.”
His gaze snaps to mine. “He did what?” His tone is incredibly sharp.
“He followed me…” I say uneasily. The change in Kincaid is palpable, like he’s turned into a predator.
“Did he touch you?” he grinds out.
“No! No, nothing like that. He was just trying to make me uncomfortable. Telling me weird shit.”
His expression hardens. “Like what?”
“It’s hard to explain. He wasn’t making much sense. He kept saying that I was special, but he, like, had no basis for it, and yet the idea angered him. And that neither of us deserved to be here. That this place was…cruel.”
He inhales sharply through his nose. “Cruel? In what way?”
“I guess because we’re all just doing busywork, and we’ll never be shown what work you actually do in the lab. Like Madrona is just leading us on and making us think we’re important when we’re not.”
Kincaid runs his tongue over his teeth while he sits back in his chair. “That simply isn’t true. You have lab with Janet, I mean Dr. Wu, first thing in the morning.”
“I’m not agreeing with him.”
His lips twitch with amusement. “But you do, Syd. I can see that clear as day. Don’t worry. You’ll be integrated soon enough into the workflow. I’m sure the lab can use a mind as brilliant as yours.”
I scoff. “Certainly doesn’t feel brilliant. I feel dumber by the day.”
“That will pass,” he says. “Once you’re in the lab, I’m sure you’ll come alive. You’ll see what we’re doing firsthand. Theadvancements we’ve made even over the last week will astound you. It won’t be long until…”