Page 56 of Remember Me
The hairs on the back of my neck bristle. He’s bullshitting me. Skye always put her career first. Nothing was more important to her than chasing down a story; a nine-to-five job didn’t exist for her. While I brood, unable to probe further, Kayla interjects.
“Puh-lease, let’s get off this morose subject. Bygones are bygones. Let’s celebrate the future.” Setting her flute on the bar, she dips her hand into her enormous bag. “I’ve brought along a special treat.” She holds up a small Ziploc plastic bag filled with white powder and smiles seductively. “Anyone?”
Cocaine? No fricking way. My blow days are long over. I haven’t touched the stuff since I was in art school. My one-time near overdose put the kibosh on ever snorting up the shit again. And now as a single-father, I can’t risk it. Maddie means too much to me.
Sheldon’s face lights up like a kid in a candy store. “Way to go, babe. Let’s do some lines on the dining room table.” He grabs a few cocktail straws off the bar.
“Works for me,” pipes up Hartley, heading over to the table with Kayla and Sheldon.
Holding my beer, I watch as Kayla pours the white powder onto the table, and then with a credit card, arranges it into three lines, spaced a few inches apart. Sheldon passes out the straws.
“Ladies first,” insists Hartley with a wink, standing next to her.
“Aww! Such the gentleman.” She bends over the table, her tight, perfectly shaped ass high in the air, her perfectly coiffed hair dusting the surface. Her nose hovering over the white substance, she puts the six-inch straw to one nostril and pinches the other. As I drain my brew, she expertly snorts in the coke with a swift, single inhale. Jeez. She must be a regular user. Suddenly, I understand her mercurial behavior. My gut knots. She’s both my manager and fiancée. The future mother to my daughter. What in God’s name have I gotten myself into?
Hartley plants his manicured hand on the small of Kayla’s back as she rises. “Nice job, sugar.”
Licking her upper lip, she shoots him a slow, alluring smile. “Try some, Jim.”
His eyes glaring with lust, he repeats her actions, though it takes him two snorts to inhale his line.
“Dang good stuff,” he drawls.
Then, it’s Sheldon’s turn. He bends over, his paunch folded over the table. He snorts it in loudly and quickly.
“Wow, sweetheart. Thisisreally good shit!”
“Sheldon, only the best for you. You have such great taste. But you should really thank my new dealer.”
“Why don’t we thank him by doing another round?” He swings around to face me. “C’mon, man. Don’t be such a stick in the mud. Have some fun with us.”
Thirty minutes later, when they decide to cruise to Catalina, I excuse myself, eager to get the hell off this boat and go back home to my daughter and her sweet teacher, Scarlet.
High as kites, they don’t even know I’ve parted.
CHAPTER 36
Skye
Maddie spends the next few hours watching TV, curled up on the couch, Kangy on her lap. I spend them snuggled next to her in deep thought, my emotions all over the place. Sadness and regret wrestle with jealousy and anger.
There’s a reason Finn’s with Kayla. Not only is she stunning, but she’s also been there for him in a way I never was. She made his career her priority and brought him fame and fortune. Made him a shining star in the art world... helped him achieve his lifetime dream.
Maybe in retrospect, I was never really there for him. I let Finn do his thing, but I never treated his passion for painting as anything more than a hobby. A hobby I could support. Maybe my relentless ambition and shameless self-promotion blinded me from seeing that he was as driven as me. That he wanted recognition. For the world to see him for the truly gifted artist he is.
I put myself first, driven by my own ambition. My career. Finn used to half-joke that I was married to my job. My stories were my babies, the truth my sustenance, adrenaline my drug. Danger and the impossible were never part of my vocabulary. I risked my life time and time again when I had a husband and a child who needed me. And then I put them in harm’s way. How selfish I was! How stupid! I wasn’t the good wife. Nor the good mother. Maybe I deserve my fate.
Maddie’s laughter gets me out of my tumultuous thoughts. My attention turns to my precious little girl, cuddled next to me,engrossed in a silly cartoon. The sweet sound of her voice makes my heart melt with love until a shiver skitters down my spine. Last night was a game changer for me. Her near-death episode made me remember that life can change in an instant. It did for me. Finn had no idea how terrified I was of losing her. I had to be strong for him.
Maddie is linked in my thoughts and heart in a way that’s so powerful it defies description. I’m breathing her with every breath. Her breath is my breath. We share the same air. If she can’t breathe, I suffocate. If she can’t see, my world is dark. If she can’t hear, there’s no music in my life. If she dies, a part of me dies too.
Consumed by my turbulent emotions, I’m surprised when the closing credits of the cartoon come on. My bubbly, very alive girl tells me she’s hungry. Turning off the TV, I collect myself.
“C’mon, sweetie. Let’s have lunch.” We both bounce off the couch, and taking her hand, I head toward the kitchen. The warmth of her little hand in mine radiates to every part of my being.
Fifteen minutes later, we’re seated catty-corner at the kitchen island. Kangy’s on the counter. I watch as my darling daughter takes a big bite of the simple sandwich I’ve whipped up.
“Scarlet, you make thebestestgrilled cheese in the whole wide world.”