Page 88 of Warrior's Walk
Another round of fresh tears hits and the pressure wells up inside of my head, behind my eyes. I lean in to hug him to hide my wet face.
“I love you, brother.”
This is the first time I’ve said anything like that or acknowledged that these men are my friends, my brothers, really. It feels good. It feels right. Riggs opens the door.
“We’ll be in the waiting room down the hall if you need us,” says West.
I know Riggs is taking off, and I don’t want to be alone. “It’s all right, y’all can come in. You just gotta keep it down so my mama can rest.”
They make their way inside her room, and I’m alone with Riggs. I search his face, trying to commit his features to memory.
Fuck, I’m gonna miss him so bad.
He tilts my chin up, brushing his nose against mine. “Do you know how I knew I was in love with you?” he asks. I just shake my head. I can’t imagine what he’s gonna say. “You’d say or do the dumbest shit, and instead of getting angry with you, I just wanted to smile. I wanted to kiss you,” he breathes over my lips.
My laugh is quick and shallow. The first one in days. “I fell in love with you because you saw me at my worst and still wanted me. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You made me feel like it was all right to be the worst version of myself, and yet, you made me want to be the best version I could be. That’s how I knew I loved you.”
He crushes his lips to mine. It’s a wild, passionate, sloppy kiss. His fingers tighten in my hair like he never wants to let me go. His kiss steals the breath from my lungs. I don’t care. I could die happy while kissing him. In fact, I hope it’s the last thing I ever do.
“I’m coming back for you, soldier. You’re mine, don’t forget that.”
Like I could ever forget.
Riggs has called twice,which is more than I thought I would hear from him. He’s miserable. Stuck in a field in Louisiana with nothing but rain for three days straight, getting bitten alive by mosquitoes and sweating his balls off. I know exactly how bad it sucks; I’ve done it more times than I can count. JRTC at Fort Polk is worse than hell on Earth, worse than basic training, or even deployment. The Joint Readiness Training Center is designed to prepare you for combat situations, but all it prepares you for is the seventh circle of hell.
Because that’s exactly what it is.
I read his last text message again for the hundredth time, wishing it made me feel even a little bit closer to him. “Riggs says Fort Polk has convinced him not to renew his contract with the reserves.” At least those words bring me some small measure of comfort. I won’t have to say goodbye to him again after this.
West snorts. “That fucking place. Don’t get me started.”
Mandy gags. “The humidity is so thick you could cut it with a knife.”
Brandt laughs. “Am I the only one who likes land NAV training?”
“I think something got shaken loose inside your head in that blast,” West teases, wrapping his knuckles lightly on Brandt’s skull. “All right, I need the make and model of a classic car.”
West is scribbling in hisMad Libspad. It’s the only thing keeping us entertained while my mama sleeps most of the afternoon. Whatever they’re giving her through her IV keeps her heavily sedated.
“The1964 Country Squire,” Mandy recalls fondly.
“That’s not a hot car,” West argues.
“You didn’t say hot, you said classic. She’s a beaut; a real classic.”
West rolls his eyes and jots it down. “A kind of tree nut?”
“Pistachio.”
“Walnut.”
“Pecan,” I answer, thinking of my mama’s nickname for me. When she’s gone, no one’s ever gonna call me that again. And out of nowhere, the pain of losing her hits me all over again. Silent tears track down my cheeks and neck, soaking into the collar of my shirt.
Grief is the oddest thing. You’re going along just fine one minute, laughing about a classic car, and the next, you fall apart like a rusty station wagon hitting a pothole.
“Put that shit away,” Brandt hisses to West, handing me a tissue. “You hungry, Rhett? I can run downstairs and grab you something to eat.”
“No, I’m good, thanks. I’ll eat when—” Suddenly the monitors start going crazy, blinking and beeping, but my mama looks like she’s resting comfortably. Two nurses rush in and silence the alarms. They lift her eyelids and try to get a response from her.