Page 91 of Warrior's Walk
I’m so sick of fucking crying I could choke.
Mandy has a steaming cup of coffee waiting for me like he promised. I take a seat at the table across from him and cup the mug with both hands, trying to steal its heat.
“What’s going through your head?” Mandy asks.
I take a sip, letting the warm liquid smooth out the lump in my throat. “My body count is piling up. First, Brian, and now my mama. Riggs is gone, and I don’t know what I would do without you here.”
Mandy winks. “That’s what friends are for.”
“No, you’re more than just my friend. You’re my brother, mybestfriend. I fought it for a long time because it hurt to replace Brian, but you’re not his replacement. You’re just this amazin’ guy who wants to be a part of my life, and I’m grateful for it.”
Mandy looks skeptical. “I don’t know; your best friends don’t have a great track record. I might be better off just being the guy who lives next door.”
“Fuck you,” I snort, balling up my snotty tissue and chucking it at him. “You can’t make dead jokes about my best friend.”
“Yeah, I can. I’malsoyour best friend. I have that right.”
“I guess you do. So what happens now?”
“I contacted a reputable funeral home here in Black Mountain. They’re on their way now to pick up your mama. They’re going to cremate her body and call us to pick up her remains when they’re ready. In the meantime, we have a celebration to plan.”
Fuck it. Fuck decorum and manliness and all that bullshit. I rush to my feet, rounding the table as quickly as my leg allows, and throw my arms around Mandy, bear-hugging him.
“All right, all right,” he laughs, squeezing me back.
“It’s gotta be epic. Nothing but the best for my mama.”
“Of course. Nothing but the best. You’re talking to a Bitch, and Bitches know how to throw a party.”
As I drive through Bragg,I feel Brian’s ghost haunt me at every turn. Every building I pass brings back a memory of him, good or bad. The DFAC reminds me of Brian and Warren shoving footlongs down their throats in a hotdog eating contest. I pass the PX where we did our grocery shopping together. The field where we did PT every morning, no matter if it was raining, snowing, or sweltering. The softball field where we played on the weekends.
I pull up to the airfield and park. There’s only a handful of cars with people waiting to greet their loved ones. This is the field where we took off and landed after jump training, the field where I landed when they brought me home from the desert—with Brian’s dead body.
I did the right thing by moving away from the base. I can’t keep living in his shadow, bitter that the memories I have of him can’t breathe life back into his body. I needed to get away, to walk in the sun and start fresh in a town that isn’t trying to suck me back into the past.
About forty-five minutes pass while I sit in my car, listening to the radio, waiting for Riggs to return home. I pass the time browsing the catalog Mandy gave me from the funeral home,trying to choose the best urn to bury my mama in. Most of them look so plain and boring, and I know for a fact my mama would hate them. I need something colorful and pretty like she was. I need something that screams Retta.
The giant 47 Chinook touches down in a thunderous roar, and I shut the car off and make my way to the gate. Riggs is one of the last soldiers off the bird, and my heart flip-flops at the sight of him.
Damn, he looks good. A sight for sore eyes.
I haven’t seen him in uniform since the first night we met, and now I’m getting all nostalgic and sappy, remembering the way he cared for me. The spark of heat I felt then has now grown into a raging inferno. Riggs looks so proud and broad and…ungh… like a delicious fucking snack, and I’m starving for a taste of him. I should have fucked him before he left, but I’m damn sure gonna do it as soon as we get home.
He texted last night to tell me the details of his return, and I told him about my mama. He’s probably going to treat me with kid gloves for the next few weeks, but fuck that… no matter how heartbroken I am, I still want sex.
He spots me and his face lights up, making my stomach swirl. I love that reaction from him. Riggs picks me up off my feet and swings me in an arc, crushing me in his embrace. I feel high from the thrill of being seen by his entire unit. He doesn’t give a fuck if we look gay. Well, wearegay… okay, bi/gay, but still, Riggs couldn’t care less.
I wish Brian and I had his courage when we were enlisted.
Riggs sets me on my feet. “Damn, I missed you.” I breathe the words into his neck, rubbing my lips over his stubble.
“I’m so sorry about Retta, babe.” He squeezes me tighter, and I close my eyes and breathe him in.
He smells the same as I remember, if slightly sweatier, and everything settles inside me. The turmoil, anger, and grief settleto a low simmer, taking a backseat to my excitement over seeing him again.
He presses a kiss on my lips. “You’re the best thing I’ve seen in weeks.”
With a snort, I tease, “I believe it. I’ve been to Polk.” He grabs his rucksack and we head to the car. “Take me home and fuck me.”