Page 47 of The Brigadier

But Nikolay seemed to come to his senses, pushing me away gently but firmly. He even sidestepped me, moving toward the set of French doors, staring out at the backyard.

The tension was crazy, but I had no clue what to say to him.

He shoved one hand into his pocket, taking several gulps of his scotch. I tried to hide behind my wineglass, attempting to figure out what was best to say if anything.

“I’ll give you a very good salary that should help you in the future when this is all over with. And I assure you that you won’t be required to be my prisoner for the rest of your life. We’ll get to the bottom of why some asshole hired a fucking college kid to play stalker. But in the meantime, this house right now is your sanctuary. It’s also my son’s. He is the most important person in my life and that’s just the way it is, Chantel.”

“I understand.”

“Do you?” He cocked his head slightly.

“Absolutely. I adore him.”

“Good. Now, we will attempt to leave the house at various points. Maybe he can finally enjoy having pizza or ice cream without causing issues for the businesses, but not right now. You’re still in danger and I don’t want you to forget that.”

“I won’t.”

“Which means Damien’s life could also be in danger and that’s unacceptable.”

I found myself gravitating toward him again. I could tell he was purposely shutting me down. I couldn’t stand it. We had something, something electric and amazing. I knew it waswrong. I thoroughly understood if my father found out, he’d be very angry, but I was close to the point of not caring. When I dared place my hand on his shoulder, he exhaled in a way that told me he was displeased, once again glancing over his shoulder at what I was doing.

It was such an awkward moment I felt sick inside, not excited.

Although the burning desire still remained.

He finally turned to face me so abruptly, I was forced to take a giant step backwards.

The expression on his face was disturbing, as if he couldn’t decide whether to be angry, annoyed, or simply accept the same need for me I’d felt for him.

“Now, you’re going to listen to me,” he said in a gruffer voice than I heard the night before. “This is no fantasy, no situation where anything good can come of the twisted feelings we share. You’re Vissarian’s child. You sat on my knee more than once while I read to you, likely like you’re reading to my son. This can’t work.”

“I…”

He shook his head. “I’m not finished yet. I admire you. I think you’re beautiful. And I’m extremely grateful you’ve stepped up to the plate for me, something I will never forget. However, this… This can’t happen.”

“This? You mean the fact we’re attracted to each other?” Now I was getting a little miffed.

“Yes,” he growled, the sound floating through me like rocket fuel. “I can’t protect you if I’m…”

“Fucking me,” I filled in. “Well, that sounds distasteful to me.”

“Exactly. We don’t know what we’re dealing with. We have no idea the level of danger, but I can’t be in bed with you and keep this house safe. Damn it.”

I could tell the decision was pushing him into a place he didn’t want to go but it had to me as well. I was furious, more so than I should be given his words weren’t anything I hadn’t been thinking. “So, I’m just your ward so to speak, someone you need to protect and your employee. Right?”

He had to think about what I was saying. “Yes. That’s it. It can’t be more. It can’t.”

I’d be damned if the cords on the side of his neck weren’t standing at proud attention.

What did I do instead of acting like an adult? I tossed my wine in his face. “Fine, Nikolay. I’ll be your employee and nothing else. You won’t hear a fucking peep out of me. Don’t worry. I can keep to myself. I’m used to spending a lot of time alone since dear old Daddy was too terrified to let me out of the house for most of my childhood years. Now, you. I guess you really are brothers.”

With that, I waited for two seconds to see if he’d say anything, negate the shit I’d just heard.

But he didn’t.

Enough tears had formed, which was silly, that they stung my eyes. I fought to keep them exactly where they were, turning on my heel and walking out.

But I couldn’t fight the single tear that slipped past my lashes.