Page 105 of Retribution
“I can get this done. I can turn him. I know I can.”
He searches my face. “Perhaps. The reason you want to turn him isn’t the reason we want him turned. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. He and his brother have done awful things, truly terrible things for each other, to protect their organization. We’ve never had enough proof to haul down the house of cards, but there’s a lot of anecdotal evidence about things they’ve done. They aren’t good men.”
I glance at Lorcan. “Sometimes circumstances turn good men bad.”
“We are defined by the choices we make. It’s that simple.”
“People can’t ever change? Make different choices?”
“Did it sound like he wanted to do that? Was that the impression he gave you?”
Another agent with Zahir whispers in his ear before I can reply.
“I have to go.” He turns to Dai Qing. “I understand you’re going to see Malik and then fly out?”
“Yes.”
Refocusing on me, he says, “I can’t keep you from telling him. If you tell him and it goes wrong, we probably won’t be able to get you out alive.”
“I don’t think he’d kill me.”
His gaze sweeps over me. “It’s not something you want to go into half-assed. You have toknowhe won’t.”
As Zahir leaves the room, Lorcan paces on the other side of the glass. I want to go to him, talk to him, and figure this out together.
Dai Qing stirs behind me. “The truth is, Kimi, he could be the person who killed Chad. He could have played a part in your father’s death.”
Her voice is soft, but it hits my heart like a sledgehammer. I already know he killed Ho-Jun. What she’s saying isn’t a leap. Glancing at her over my shoulder, I say, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to reveal myself until I understand what happened to my father, to Chad, and to Lorcan’s father.”
“Those are pretty big question marks.”
“Hopefully, the answers fall the way I want.” My hand strays to the glass again before I follow Dai Qing out the door, my thoughts drifting to Malik.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Dai Qing’s phone pings as we head to the medical building. “He’s out of the medically induced coma and ready for visitors. Timing couldn’t be better.” She puts her phone into her pocket.
My stomach churns at seeing Malik and knowing Lorcan and Finn did the damage. Finn for fun and Lorcan in a misguided attempt to protect me. I run my sweaty palms along the sides of my jeans as we enter the building. He won’t blame me, but there’s a part of me that thinks I could have done better, somehow got him out quicker, realized Finn might round up people I heard nothing about.
“How are you doing, seeing him like this?”
She half turns and raises her eyebrows. “Of course I don’t enjoy seeing him like this. I don’t think that’s exactly what you’re asking.”
“Well, I’m aware you two had a… relationship.”
Dai Qing laughs. “Did he tell you that?”
“He implied it a few times. He nevertoldme.”
“Makes sense.”
“Does it?”
“I mean, he’s had a thing for you since you two first started working together. It’s been pretty clear to me, probably to him, you didn’t return those feelings.” She glances at me. “At least not enough.”
Unexpected heat climbs into my cheeks. “He’s—I—I care about him.”
“He knows. That’s why he told you he and I were together. I was the buffer—the beard, so he never had to admit you were who he wanted. The only person he wanted.” She looks at me out of the corner of her eye. “Not that I didn’t try.”