Page 16 of Forbidden Fruit

After the fiasco of Vanessa’s first day, I called Pierce and asked him to install a camera in the living room. I really don’t want to be taken by surprise, and if I’m honest, I don’t fully trust her.

She might be nice and look sweet, but she still doesn’t have a reference letter from a previous job, and I only hired her because of Alana’s recommendation.

The weekend was over too quickly, and the kids couldn’t stop talking about her. Despite having been abandoned at school on her first day, Anton didn’t hold it against her and raved about her brownies until I got sick of hearing about them. I didn’t say that to him, but the fact that she thought it was a good idea to give them sugar a couple of hours before bed gave me a headache. Livia was too happy to tell me that I don’t play likeVivi—she couldn’t pronounce her full name—and thatVividoes a better impression of Barbie than I do. I sure hope so, but it still rubbed me the wrong way.

The good part, at least for me, is that they only asked where their mother was a couple of times. They still miss her, but the novelty of Vanessa has taken over their lives for now.

And mine.

It’s not every day that I let someone in. Last time I did, the person became the mother of my child, then my wife. I’m not ready to make a monumental mistake like that again. Once was enough to last me a lifetime.

And I’m not counting Pierce, who insists on spending lunch breaks with me when I know for a fact I’m not good company, especially since Monica left. My boss’s husband is dealing with his own shit with his half-brother acting like an idiot most of the time, but he made space for me in his life. Some days, I’m grateful for the quiet friendship we share and some days, I wish he’d just leave me alone to wallow in self-pity.

Like now.

We’re in our weekly Monday meeting to talk revenue, taxes and establish the priorities of the week and he won’t stop asking where my ex-wife is and why I’m not chasing her.

“If it were me, I’d be scouring the Earth to find her,” he says flippantly.

I know he tried to find Alana for three years before they reunited, but he was infatuated with her, and then he became obsessed. I don’t feel anything like that for my ex-wife.

“Drop it, Pierce,” I tell him, and he holds up his hands.

If there is one topic I have no desire to talk about, it’s my ex-wife and what I should do with her. I have no clue what to do about her and I don’t want anyone to pester me, asking for answers I do not have. Rational decisions are my forte, but when it comes to the mother of my children, I’m at a loss.

The meeting ends, but we’re slow to leave the conference room. I take my phone from my pocket, ready to distract myself and avoid the only friend I have. My thumb hovers over the newly installed app on the main screen. After a second of hesitation, I open it.

My living room comes into view on the small screen. The wide angle allows me to see the kitchen, the windows, and the street behind. But mostly, I see Vanessa. Vanessa crawling on all fours with a smiling Livia seated on her back. Her hips sway as she moves. It must be so impractical wearing that tight leather skirt.

I don’t close the app right away, even though I’ve reassured myself Livia is okay.

I keep watching.

“What are you looking at?” Pierce asks over my shoulder, and I immediately turn off the screen.

“Nothing. Just checking if the camera you installed on Sunday works. I didn’t have time to do it before.” My tone is cool and collected, but my palms sweat. I feel like I’ve been caught watching porn at work. Which is ridiculous. I’m just a concerned father who checked on the nanny.

Who doesn’t know she is being watched.

I ignore the voice in my head—with working in the mafia, it’s not too hard to silence morals like this one—and go on with my day until it’s time to go home.

The problem with telling yourself something is not a problem is that it can get out of hand very quickly. I don’t mean to open the camera app again. I told myself I’d only watch it around the time Vanessa needs to go pick up Anton at school. But it’s 11 am and my thumb itches.

I watch as the living room comes into view again on my screen and look for where Livia is. She’s seated on the kitchencounter while Vanessa makes their lunch. She shouldnotbe seated on the kitchen counter. If she falls, she’ll break her neck.

I close the app and text Vanessa.

Me

Everything fine this morning?

I open the app again and watch as she picks up her phone and texts. A few seconds later, my phone chimes.

Vanessa Winfrey

Yes, Mr Marquesi.

I can almost imagine the attitude she has right this second. She thinks she hides it well, but she has a wild side. It’s obvious despite me not knowing her well. It’s obvious in the way she huffed her frustration before asking to be paid early. Why I find it endearing is a mystery to me.