Page 11 of Not Yet Yours
“Nonsense,” my Aunt Dorothy replies. “You’re running a business not a charity. You need paying guests, not family members slobbing about all over making a mess.”
I can’t help but laugh but she does have a point. The mess left in my hotel after Cullen and Max’s wedding was way worse than any non-family events the hotel has hosted.
“Anyway,” my Aunt Dorothy goes on. “I’m particularly glad you’re still coming because one of Carmen’s friends, Rita, is newly single and I think she would be perfect for you. She…”
“Let me stop you right there Aunt Dorothy,” I say before she can try to match-make me which I hate. I know she will be expecting me to point that out and give her all of the reasons I don’t want her to be trying to marry me off, but she will only poopoo my arguments so instead, I blurt out something she can’t really argue with. “I’m already seeing someone.”
“Really?” my Aunt Dorothy says, and I can hear the excitement in her voice. “Oh, wait. Is it her? The girl from Cullen’s wedding?”
“Yeah,” I say because my Aunt Dorothy seemed to like Harriet the few times we spoke over the course of that night and it’s definitely going to be easier to put her off fixing me up with someone if I’m already seeing someone she approves of.
“That’s wonderful news, Liam,” my Aunt Dorothy says, and I smile to myself. I have finally won a round of this endless battle with my aunt. My smugness at thinking I have beaten my Aunt Dorothy lasts for all of three seconds, because the second she speaks again, I realize the huge fucking mistake I have made. “She seemed really nice. I can’t wait to see her again. Ok, I’ll jot you down as a definite plus one. Now, I have to go. I have a ton more calls to make. Love you, bye.”
She hangs up which is good because I don’t think I could string together a coherent sentence now that I’ve realized what I’ve done. I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me that my Aunt Dorothy would obviously assume I was bringing my girlfriend with me to the party.
I think through my options. I could just go alone and say we broke up, but then my Aunt Dorothy will try and hook me up with someone, even if I tell her I’m not ready to start something new, she will insist that if I just meet so and so I will feel differently about it, that I won’t be able to help but fall for her and all of that stuff so that idea is out.
I could just not go. I can send my Aunt Dorothy the money she’s spent on my hotel room so she’s not out of pocket, but I actually like Carmen, my cousin whose birthday it is, and I want to celebrate with her.
I guess I could take someone else. I’m sure I can find someone who is up for a weekend of fun with me, but I know if I do that after confirming so close to the event that Harriet and I are together, my Aunt Dorothy will be discussing me with anyone who will listen and plenty of people who don’t want to listen too. Whilst I don’t particularly care if I am being gossiped about, I don’t want to ruin Carmen’s birthday and if all the attention is on me instead of her, I feel like it will ruin it for her.
There is only one solution I can think of, and I have no idea if I will be able to make it happen or not. I’m going to have to try and convince Harriet to come to the party with me and play the role of my girlfriend.
I try to tell myself that the fluttering in my stomach is just nerves in case she says no, and I have to come up with another plan. It’s got nothing to do with the excitement I don’t feel at the idea of seeing her again and spending the weekend in her company. Nothing at all.
I pick my cell phone back up and I again debate going back to my office first before making this call, but I want to do it now before I lose my nerve. I scroll through my contacts list and it’s only then that I realize that I don’t actually have Harriet’s cell phone number. Great.
This is definitely not the sort of thing to ask someone in a direct message on Facebook or Instagram, so there is only one thing I can do now. I’m going to have to ask Max for Harriet’s number. I start typing out a text message to Max to ask her for Harriet’s number when another idea comes to me.
Max and Cullen are obviously going to the party too and I figure that there is a much better chance of Harriet saying yes to this weekend if Max talks to her rather than me. Max can play it off as a fun scheme where we double date and trick my Aunt Dorothy and the others and make it more appealing than me just begging her to make my life easier.
I hope Max will be on board to help me. I think she will be, but who knows? There’s only one way to find out and I delete my half-written text message and call Max instead. She answers pretty quickly.
“Hey Liam,” she says.
“Hi,” I say. “Listen, I have a favor to ask of you. It’s kind of a long, strange story.”
“Long, strange stories are my favorite kind of stories. Fire away,” Max says.
“Ok. So, at your wedding, Harriet and I were dancing together, and my Aunt Dorothy came over and started asking questions about us. I started to tell her we weren’t together, but I knew that if I did that, she would start quizzing me, and probably Harriet too, about why either of us came to the wedding alone without a date. I didn’t want that and so I was stuttering and spluttering, trying to come up with something that wouldn’t piss Harriet off, but would appease my Aunt Dorothy. Anyway, I was failing miserably when Harriet took over and told my Aunt Dorothy that we haven’t been seeing each other for long, that’s why she didn’t know about us. It worked. My Aunt Dorothy moved on from questioning us, and I thought that was the end of it,” I told her.
“I think I might have mentioned to Harriet about your Aunt Dorothy and how she was always trying to get you and Cullen married off. That’s probably why Harriet intervened so she didn’t come back with some poor girl and decide you should be dating her,” Max says with a laugh.
“Oh God, don’t,” I say, also laughing. “That sounds exactly like something she would do.”
I cringe inside at the thought of it and being able to visualize it makes me even more determined to make this thing with Harriet happen, otherwise, the cringey vision I managed to avoid at the wedding will be exactly what happens to me at the party.
“That brings me to today,” I say to Max. “My Aunt Dorothy called me to confirm I was definitely coming to Carmen’s birthday party, and I told her I was. She instantly started on about some girl she thought I would like and how she was going to make it her mission to pair us up. Naturally, I was horrified at the idea, and I panicked and blurted out that I was already seeing someone. I thought that would end the conversation. Stupid me. She asked if it was the girl from your wedding, and I figured she had liked Harriet so there wouldn’t be any of this oh she’s better for you than that other girl kind of tricks being pulled so I said yes. I know I’m an idiot, but it didn’t occur to me until she told me she was looking forward to seeing Harriet again, that she would obviously expect me to bring her to the party.”
“Yes. You definitely are an idiot,” Max says.
“Thanks for that,” I say.
Max laughs and I can picture her shaking her head at me.
“Come on, Liam. It’s a serious amateur error. As if your Aunt Dorothy was going to let that go. And you know she’s going to hound you at the party, right? On the first night, you might be able to convince her that Harriet feels sick from traveling, soshe’s staying at the hotel. On the night of the party, the first time she asks, you can say Harriet is in the bathroom or something, or she’s gone for a bit of air. But you’re not going to get away with that all weekend. At some point, your Aunt Dorothy is going to demand she see Harriet,” Max says.
“I know,” I say. “And that’s where you and the favor come in.”