Page 201 of Cashmere Ruin

“I’m sorry,” I murmur.

Then I let the knife clatter to the ground.

“Motya…?” Yuri whispers, confused. “What are you doing?”

“The right thing.”

He looks at me like I’ve gone insane. Maybe I have. Or maybe I just remember what it’s like to be sane after decades of obsession.

Blood.

What a stupid thing to die for.

I didn’t want to avenge my mother because she was blood—I wanted it because I loved her. Because she was important to me.

My crusade against my father was never because he betrayed some abstract primal concept—it was because he betrayed her. Because he betrayed me.

A family who used to love him.

Family.If only I’d understood before what that word truly meant.

I throw one last glance at April. The woman who changed my life—the woman who changed me.

If this has to be goodbye, let her see me go like this. Like a man and not a monster. Let her see the good in me until the end.

“Bravo!” Carmine claps. “Truly an outstanding performance. But I’m afraid it’s time for curtain call.”

I ignore him. There’s nothing he can say that will be of any worth to me now. Maybe there never was.

Instead, I turn to Yuri. “Take care of them,” I whisper. “When he kills me, take them and run. Hide them somewhere safe. Don’t you ever let him get to them, you hear me?”

“No,” Yuri stammers. “You can’t—no. Not like this.”

“Promise me, Yura.”

“Kill me! He might honor the terms then. Or—or just give me the knife! It won’t be honorable, but?—”

“I can’t do that. I’ve already bested you.”

“But if you do this, then no one has won! Don’t you get it? He’ll get to decide, he?—”

“That’s why I need you to promise.”

“What was that?” Carmine goes. “Sorry, can you speak up? I feel like we’re missing the end of the play here. That’s not very nice, you know.”

“Promise me,” I insist.

Yuri stares at me with wide eyes. Finally, I can see the truth in them: pain, heartbreak, guilt. All the bent and broken things I never wanted to look for.

But I was the one who put them there.

And now, it’s time to pay my debts.

“I promise,” he rasps.

It’s all I can ask for.

“Hellooo?” Carmine calls. “Mind sharing that with the rest of the audience? Seriously, this is the grand finale. Do we have to get amic in here?” He taps his foot impatiently on the floor. “Care to loop me in, Yuri?”