Page 62 of Cashmere Ruin
Petra hums in surprise. “Guess you really can’t judge a book by its cover. I would’ve pegged him for a skater boy.”
“Heisa skater boy. And a Bernini fan.”
“The duality of man.” Petra’s eyes stray towards her shoulder strap, now peppered with placeholder paper leaves. Ideally, those will become embroidery. Just as soon as I can catch a break from this hem, that is. “I remember this myth,” she muses. “Apollo tried to rape Daphne, right? She didn’t want to break her vows, so she turned into a tree.”
“Takes ‘no means no’ to a whole new level, right?”
“I mean, yes,” she concedes, “but it’s not all about that. Not really. It’s a story about sacrifice.”
Now,I’m stumped. “Sacrifice?”
Petra nods. “When Apollo starts chasing her, Daphne’s forced into a choice: she can either submit or resist. But both options come at a cost.”
“Her integrity or her freedom.”
“Sure, but then there’s the irony: to break free of Apollo, she has to renounce her freedom completely.”
“And if she submits to his will, then she isn’t truly free,” I realize. “So you’re saying that’s the big theme here? What it truly means to be free?”
“In part.”
I frown. “I still don’t get it. Where’s the sacrifice?”
For a moment, Petra hesitates, as if handpicking her words. “Daphne’s choice isn’t just between freedom and captivity,” she finally says. “It’s between staying in a world that could hurt her or separating herself from it. Living with scars or running away.”
“Before anything can touch you,” I murmur. “She paid the ultimate price for a life without pain.”
“Exactly. Until it was barely a life anymore. So that’s the question: what’s truly important to you? How much are you willing to sacrifice, and for what?”
I turn over the myth a little more in my head. Petra’s explanation has opened up new interpretations. Shades of gray I hadn’t considered before. “So it’s not about the abuse? Not really?”
“I mean, there’s that, too, but come on. This was ancient Greece. Have you ever read what Zeus got up to?”
“Suddenly, I’m not sure I want to know.”
As I get back to work, Petra’s words keep swirling in my mind. About Daphne’s story—and about sacrifice. About the price you’re willing to pay.
Then I think of Matvey. Of our nights of fire and brimstone, and then our days of ice and snow. And I can’t help but wonder…
What price amIwilling to pay?
21
APRIL
The Flowers mansion isn’t as big as I remember.
It’sbigger.
I get out of the car with May in my arms, Grisha holding the door for me. My eyes wander across the huge courtyard, struggling to take it all in. Even after all these years, this place still makes me feel uneasy. A stranger in a strange land.
I never felt at home here. Hell, I never thought I’d be back here, where nothing holds a single good memory. Where there’s trauma waiting behind every door.
But then the invitation came, and I couldn’t say no. If there’s even a small chance that my father wants to make things right with me, that he wants to be a part of May’s life… Then I have to give him that chance.
Doesn’t make it fun, though.
“Here we go,” I mutter.