Page 39 of Ash and Roses

“Did I wake you?” I ask, letting a cool shudder run through me as I move beside the fire and give myself over to the warmth of it.

“I was up.”

“Because you didn’t trust me not to run?”

His eyes fall closed. “Can we please not do this tonight? If you want to fight, then I think I should just go.” He moves to stand, and before I can stop myself, I reach out a hand and grab hold of his wrist.

“Wait, don’t.”

He shifts at the touch, so I release his arm. I think he’s going to walk out, but instead he shuts the door. “You okay if I close this? You got me paranoid when you said they were going for your window.”

“I might have exaggerated a bit. They were certainly trying, but they didn’t get past the trellis. What is this place?” I gaze around and take in the cluttered space. It looks as if someone spent quite a lot of time here, but not for a long while. A thin layer of dust coats every exposed surface, and there’s a musty scent in the air. Still, the room isn’t altogether uncomfortable—and there’s not a single window, so it does wonders for my nerves. I notice on the other side of the room something I’d missed in the dark. There’s a board propped up against the far wall, with various knives in all different shapes and sizes stuck into the wood. Someone had no doubt busied themself throwing them at the target, but they’ve long since been forgotten.

More at ease now, Quinn moves further inside the room, but keeps at least an arm’s length away. I guess touching him was crossing a line. “I had it made shortly after the curse began. I wanted a place to just… be. No one has been in here for almost four years, so you’ll have to forgive the dust.” He drags a finger along a shelf full of books.

“It’s nice,” I say, but it comes off far from convincing. “Have you read all of these books?”

He gazes around at the various shelves. “I have, at least once. And most of the ones in the library.”

I’d nearly forgotten about the library. “Is the library off-limits too?”

The space between his eyes creases. “Why would it be?”

“No reason.” I shift awkwardly at the sudden change in the air. “You must think I’m ridiculous.”

“You’re handling this better than I did at the start.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Was it always so wavy? “I locked myself in this room and refused to eat. Ruben begged me to open the door. When I stopped responding to him at the start of the third week, he and my brother broke it down.”

“And they convinced you to eat?”

He shudders. “Something like that. The room has since been reinforced. You have nothing to fear here.”

I take a seat on the bed, not bothering to shake the dust off the sheets. I’m sure people have slept in worse conditions. There’s something in Quinn’s tired eyes that’s strikingly familiar. It’s a look I know all too well because I’ve worn it more times than I can count. “I have nightmares too.” It’s just a guess, but the slight cooling of his gaze confirms my suspicions.

“Is it that obvious?”

“It’s notnotobvious.”

“Got any tips?” I can tell it’s a rhetorical question, but there is one thing I can recommend.

“It helps if you’re not alone. Teagan—my lady’s maid—slept in my room most nights. It didn’t always work, but it made the nights bearable.” That’s the first time I’ve said her name since that awful day in the woods. My eyes sting at the thought of her, but they behave themselves. I’ve done enough crying for one night.

“She was with you, wasn’t she?” All I can do is nod. “I’m sorry. You were lucky to have such a good friend.”

He moves for the door again, and the thought of him leaving has me riding a tidal wave of emotion. After everything that’s happened tonight, I can’t stand the thought of being alone again. I can’t bear to think what horrible dreams will plague me tonight when sleep finally finds me. “Do you need me to say it?” He stops, but doesn’t turn to me. “Stay with me.”

He meets my gaze, and his eyes darken. “I shouldn’t.”

“We’re both fucked up. We may as well be fucked up together.”

His lips twitch into an almost-smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve never heard a lady swear so much.”

“Being under the impression that I’m anything remotely resembling a lady is your first mistake.” I pick up one of the dusty pillows and toss it at him. He catches it in front of him with ease and holds it against his chest, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I thought you didn’t trust me.”