Page 57 of Callow
“You didn’t text,” I said, wincing even as the words escaped me, knowing how needy they sounded.
“I didn’t know if you wanted me to,” he admitted as his hand moved up and down my spine.
“What? Why?” I asked, mind racing with all the ways I may have screwed this up unintentionally.
“You were… upset that you were with me when Daph was attacked. I… I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me again because of that.”
“I was just upset,” I admitted, kicking myself for running my mouth when I was too anxious and hysterical to think the words through. “It wasn’t about you. It was just… guilt for not being there. It had nothing to do with you. That was the best date I’ve ever had.
“Full-disclosure, though,” I said, pulling back enough to smirk up at him, “most of my dates have included cheap beer and the woods or a backseat somewhere,” I admitted.
“Woods and backseats?” he asked, looking a little horrified. “The fuck kinda men you been dating?”
“To be fair, almost all of my dating history took place pre-Daphne,” I told him.
“You haven’t dated since? In sixteen years?”
“I mean… not… really. I had two sort of… what do the kids call it these days? Situationships? I don’t know. Nothing serious that lasted more than a week or two. I never wanted to bring anyone around Daphne,” I told him.
“Why not?” he asked, releasing me as the coffee machine beeped.
Turning, he grabbed cups and started to pour.
“I saw a documentary once,” I told him. “It was about men who preyed on children. And the men all said the same thing.”
“What’s that?” Callow asked as he went to get the creamer.
“That they don’t choose the children. They choose the mom.”
“Christ,” he said, looking taken aback.
“I know. Horrible thought. I never wanted anyone to get to Daphne through me just because I was lonely.”
“So she’s never seen you with a man? Ever?”
“No,” I said as he handed me my cup. “Sorry we don’t have the ingredients for s’mores coffees.”
“I usually drink it with cream and sugar at home. She’s Bean Around is for treat coffee.”
“What’s different now?” he asked as I took a sip.
“What do you mean?”
“Me,” he said. “You.”
“Oh, ah. Well, honestly, I guess Daphne is different now. First, because she’s older. And she’s had a lot of talks about predatory men and how we don’t keep secrets like that. But also… because she was the one to… push us together, I guess.”
“The text,” he agreed.
“Yes,” I said, exhaling hard. “And she also got her friend Allie to play sick so that Britney cancelled on me. It was a whole scheme to get us in the same place at the same time.”
“Guess I owe her some sort of thank-you gift for that,” Callow said, sipping his coffee from across the room. Like he didn’t trust himself with getting too close to me.
“She’d like bookstore gift cards,” I told him, thinking of the eight books she’d plowed through in a week thanks to the random ‘get well’ gift from Allie and her moms of a young adult ‘romantasy’ book. She was hooked. My credit card was about to catch fire from the charges. But my guilt made it impossible to turn her down. Well, that and the fact that I was much more comfortable with her experiencing wild and crazy things through fiction instead of real life.
“Got a club princess,” he started. At my blank look, he clarified, “A club princess is the daughter of a club member.”
“Oh, okay.”