Page 80 of Callow
“I… don’t,” she said, looking a little stricken at the idea.
It seemed just like Sabrina to be so focused on what a situation would mean for her daughter that she completely neglected to leave herself out of the equation.
“I’m assuming this is where I should find some long-buried talent to work on. Or pick up a new hobby. Something like that. But, ah, getting myself into trouble was my only talent when I was younger. And I know myself well enough to know I would pull my hair out trying to learn to knit or garden. Do you have any hobbies?”
“I dunno if I’d call them hobbies. But I like to get out and do shit on occasion. Go to the range. Kayak. There’s a wall-climbing place around here that’s a good time. Anything that sounds interesting.”
“I might be interested in going to concerts again,” Sabrina said as she slid the cookies in the oven. “Though I’ll admit that a part of me is a little terrified that I will be that old person claiming the music is too loud now.”
“You can start going again before Daph goes off to college. She’ll be driving on her own by her next birthday, right? Doubt she’ll be hanging here every night then.”
“Shh. Don’t remind me. I’m just gonna pray that this book thing stays her new obsession and the only place she drives off to at night is with Allie to check out some new bookstores.”
“Is she still talking to that Tammy chick?”
“I mean, I don’t monitor her texts or anything like that. But I haven’t heard her talking about Tammy in a while. I feel like a bad person hoping one of her friendships has fizzled out, but I’d prefer her to hang out with kids like Allie than adults like Tammy.”
“That makes sense. Allie definitely seems like a better influence. I’m assuming she plans on going to college too?”
“Yeah. She’s very school-focused. She studies for the state tests,” Sabrina said with a fond little smile. “She’s planning on becoming a research scientist. Lets her do smart stuff while not having to interact with too many people. Her moms are happy because, apparently, that pays pretty damn well too.”
“That worrying about them shit, that never goes away, huh?”
“I think about her marrying and having kids and a stable life and still stress myself out worrying about her not getting enough sleep or eating right or all the shit I went through when I was a new mom.”
“Difference being, she’ll always have you.”
“Yeah,” she said, but there was a sad look in her hazel eyes.
“What?” I asked.
To that, she sighed. “I kind of wish I’d been able to give Daphne more of a support system than I did. She has me, always. And Britney and Sam will, of course, be there for her if she needs them. But… that’s all I could give her.”
“Think you’re more than enough, but I get what you’re saying. I’m not in touch with my family, save for my sister.But my found family in the club is my real family now. There’s something to be said for knowing you have this massive group of people to rely on if you need them. Perish hasn’t needed to lift a finger since he got shot. Someone is always doting on him.”
The conversation shifted more to the club then. To the kinds of connections there were. The club as a whole, of course, then the wives, the kids, the smaller groups of closer friends. Like Nave with Voss. Like me with Sully. There were always some groups who clicked more. But when push came to shove, you had everyone to fall back on if you needed them.
Then, well, the cookies were done and there was no more talking, just fucking devouring those goddamn things as Daph prattled on about how much baking Sabrina did for Christmas, and that I had to be around to try it all.
“She’s really pushing for us, huh?” I asked as Daph took a small plate of cookies back to her room. Where she claimed she planned to stay until the morning. With the TV on.
That damn kid. She was a trip.
“What? Oh, uhm,” Sabrina said, wide-eyed, like she was worried I would be upset about that fact.
“It’s sweet how much she wants to see you happy,” I added.
“She’s a good kid,” Sabrina agreed. “But it’s not like I’m expecting… or that her wanting us to… it’s new…”
“Hey, take a breath,” I said, reaching to grab her hips and pull her up to my chair. “Way I see it, there is an us. I get that it’s new. And neither of us can say what’s gonna happen a month or year from now. But, for now, I like what we got going on.”
That had the tension sliding out of her shoulders.
“I like it too,” she agreed, reaching up to rest her forearms on my shoulders, then pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “How about you…notsleep on the couch tonight?”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Sabrina