Page 49 of Owning Emma
Chapter 22
ROMAN
After seeingthat Royal’s wife was okay being left for the night and making sure the girls got back to the main house in one piece, we ended the evening in our barn. Every time I looked at this big red structure, I thought of Royal and his last visit to my property when drunken shenanigans led to a burning building, a dog in a tree, a backhoe incident, and ultimately . . . a new barn.
We were scattered about, sitting on bales of hay and it was so much more intimate than hanging out in the main hall with all the men. The men that may or may not be gathering information on me, setting me up to fail.
I glared at the men around me, my mind unable to determine who was loyal, even if there were only a few people I trusted around. Trusted. I trusted these men, and that’s why they were here with me. But having trust in a few didn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside about the dwindling faith in the rest of them. It was unfair and I knew it, but I couldn’t help the thought that one bad apple could spoil the rest.
We were in the barn for an hour tossing back drinks and reminiscing about the good times, the bad times, and the easy and fucking hard times. The day had been full of work, but tonight, out here in this barn, work was the last thing on my mind. Especially as the beers slid down my throat, and the heat of Shaw’s gaze seared into my skin.
What was I doing? Why the hell was I thinking anything about Shaw right now, enjoying his watchful gaze, wondering what those looks meant? I had no right to lead him on, if that was even what I was doing. I didn’t know. This whole feeling was new territory and I had no fucking clue how to navigate it. Not when it involved him, not when it risked the best thing in my life, not when sometime in the future it could hurt Shaw.
So I pretended to notice none of the stares. Acted like my insides hadn’t been heated by a mere look and that thoughts of what it could mean weren’t flooding my mind. I concentrated on the people in my barn and the flowing conversation. I felt antsy until finally all I could do was stand and stretch, looking for something to do. I rubbed the back of my neck and looked to Royal. “Want another?”
He shook his head wearily. “I’m getting too old to drink you under the table, I can’t be climbing trees any more either.”
I laughed at his claim and patted his shoulder. “It’s that wife of yours, she’s taming you.”
He snorted at that, “Hardly.”
But then his eyes glazed over like he was thinking of Bianca in the best ways possible. All the ways I wished to see Emma, I imagined. Shaw too. Fuck. I wanted to put my palms on my head and pull the little bit of hair I hadn’t shaved off until pain seeped through my scalp and dulled my mind. Instead, I reminded myself that it was the alcohol talking. I shook myself out of my stupor. “You got lost there for a second.”
“It’s the dress,” he admitted and I laughed, knowing what the right dress could do to a weak man.
I looked at my watch. “Do you want to go back to the dress?”
I could see the contemplation in his eyes, but he rejected the offer. “It can wait. You know what, maybe I will take another.”
Shaw reached for the chest next to him and came up empty handed. “Let me run back for some refills.”
He stood and stretched, and my eyes followed as his shirt rose. I was in deep, I chastised myself, but it had to be the alcohol talking. Still, alcohol or not, I couldn’t remove my eyes from him as he strolled to the barn door. Grabbing hold of the heavy door, he pulled the iron handle back, sliding the door open, when suddenly the ground shook. Lights exploded, sound pulsed, and everyone fell backward, pushed by invisible fingers to the ground. Heat engulfed the structure as fire rapidly licked up the walls and the whole time the only thing I could think of was him. Shaw.