Page 44 of Resisted
The fates sure know how to fuck with a guy. “Bella, I do not regret the kiss.” Maybe an inkling of me regretted not having it happen sooner. “I just… Fuck, I don’t even know anymore. You’re making my brain all muddled.”
“So your inability to talk about what you’re feeling is to be blamed on me?”
Why was she making this so damn hard for me? “I just wanted you to know I didn’t stop looking.”
“I never doubted you, Silas.” She looked out the window. “You regret kissing me because you view me as family.”
“Yes—wait, no. I mean, yes, you are family, but that’s not why I regret kissing you.”
I parked the car in my driveway. “So then you admit you have regrets.”
“Damnit.” I scrubbed my palms over my eyes. “Bella. I don’t regret it. I…just hadn’t expected it to happen. That’s all. It’s not like I’m Vince or Boyce, I’m…I’m…” Where the hell was I even going with this bullshit?
“A stubborn assmale with control issues,” she offered.
I sighed. “Yeah, that. Look, it won’t happen again.” At least that was what I was going to tell myself, on repeat, until I believed it, but never in my life had I thought that one kiss could be so addicting.
Her fingers toyed with the handle of the door, and I knew she was thinking about jumping ship. She could go. I wouldn’t stop her, wouldn’t chase her. I’d let her be free with the idea that I could control myself around her from here on out. But she didn’t move. Instead, she sat there with the war of the worlds playing out across her cute little face.
“What if I want it to happen again?” she finally blurted out, her fingers gripping the car handle so tightly, I was sure she would break it. She wasn’t weak, I knew that. No shifter was. She could snap that handle with the strength in her pinky finger, yet she controlled it all.
I nearly choked at her words, and all I could push past the dryness in my throat was, “Excuse me?”
“It’s just we already discussed that you’re a stubborn ass male with control issues, and well, you saying it won’t happen again seems like you’re controlling a situation that shouldn’t be controlled.” Fates, I could hardly watch the assault her teeth were waging on her bottom lip.
“I don’t understand.” Or maybe I didn’t want to understand.
She finally pulled the handle, and the door popped open an inch, waiting for her to push it fully open and slide through the rest of the way, but she didn’t move for a moment. She gathered her composure before reaching to her feet and gathering her bag, then and only then did she push at the door. She tilted her body away from me as she slid off the seat until the truck no longer contained her and her feet were solidly on the gravel below. Then she turned, her eyes burning into me as she said, “You think you can control every damn thing, Silas, but you can’t. You said you won’t let it happen again, but I say fuck it and fuck you. I want it to happen again. Do you want to know why?”
I was afraid to ask. Terrified. I ignored the burning ball in the pit of my stomach, ignored every red flag that went off in my head as I watched her reach behind the seat to gather the food she’d gotten to feed everyone. I swallowed once, then twice, before braving any attempt to speak. When I finally did, all I managed was a sad, pitiful, “Why?”
“Because my whole damn life, I’ve been in a weird limbo where I don’t fully belong. But when any of you touch me, I seem to forget that. It should be wrong, I should feel horrified at that fact, but I don’t. I want it, I’ve craved it, and you know what? Fuck you and your control. I may not get it, but I’ll sure as hell spend all my spare time tempting it to fall in my direction.”
Well. That… “I—”
She walked away, her hips swinging, and it was just as well since my words were caught in my throat. Not a single thing could escape. I tried not to watch, tried not to notice as Boyce met her at the door with a wide smile, Vince and his scowl right behind him. Tried not to notice that, despite my objections, she fit. Tried not to notice the one single glance back she gave me before the front door slammed closed, then once again, I was left alone on the outside while my men and Bella banded together over a meal.
Chapter 18
VINCENT
Welp,it’d been a tense fucking week. The nerves of every damn person in the house had been pulled tighter than my uncle John’s jeans after a Thanksgiving feast. The anxiety was bound to snap at any moment, and when it did, I sort of wanted a fucking front row seat.
“What the hell are smirking about?” Silas said, his voice breaking into my thoughts.
I looked up. “Thinking of something I read in a book.”
“Fucking liar,” he mumbled but didn’t bother to push further. His half dead, sleepy ass went straight for the coffeepot, fixing his drink like a zombie on autopilot.
“Do not spill a drop,” I instructed. “I just cleaned in there.”
Like an immature bastard and not at all the leader of a fierce pack of fighting wolf warriors, he mocked, “I just cleaned in there.You’re always cleaning everywhere. Shit is bound to get dirty.”
Well yes, but that wasn’t the point. “If it were up to you and Boyce, we’d live in filth.”
Not entirely true. I knew at some point, they would get tired of living in their own filth and clean up after themselves. It just might take a week or two. I’d tested it once. I spent the longest two weeks of my life fighting the urge to clean up their messes. Still, they took the hint and even now, you could catch a wolf in the wild picking up their own cup they left in the living room.
After he made his cup, he plopped down next to me. “I think I have an assignment for us next month. There’s intel that a new group of poachers will travel close to here.”