Page 20 of His Last Chase

“Nothing but I need help moving my tea set and my stuffies. We’re gonna have a tea party.” Before Timothy could take a single step, Jamie hugged him again. “Thank you for my room and the bestest birthday ever, Daddy.”

“You are very welcome, my sweet birthday boy,” Timothy said to him before he rejoined us. The Daddies moved to the kitchen to help with whatever we could and left the boys to their tea party.

One day soon I hoped my boy would look at me like I’d hung the moon as he played in his room in our shared home.

Gods, I was a goner already and it’d only been a couple of weeks. How would I survive while he was on the road for weeks at a time?

Chapter Five

Chase

This room was…wow. Like nothing I’d never seen but totally amazing.

“Hey, look,” Henry ran over to the shelf and grabbed one of the containers. “You have a whole bucket of pretend food.”

“Ooohhh, my Daddy is the bestest!” Jamie cheered. Their excitement was infectious though I remained somewhat reserved. What if I did something wrong or didn’t play the right way? They obviously spent a lot of time together and were very in tune with one another.

Henry passed around the plastic food and Jamie filled our teacups. “Okay, pinkies out like this.” Jamie showed us the proper way, well the way he thought it should be, for holding a teacup. “Nummy, nummy, nummy.”

I played along but my eyes darted to the massive number of stuffies on the shelf. Outside of a toy store, which there weren’t many anymore, I’d never seen this many before. Stuffies were one of my favorite things. Next to Spiderman, that was.

“Do you want to hold one of my new stuffies? You can if you want to,” Jamie asked me. This guy was so kind, like all the way down to his bones nice.

I nodded and he ran over to them, grabbing a teddy bear. “What should we name them?” His eyes landed on my arms. “I like your tattoos.”

“Thank you. This one is my band logo.” I pointed to the Embrace logo David designed that the four of us proudly wore on our arms. Rhone had placed his next to his dad’s band logo.

“Embrace the Fear. Oh, that sounds scary.” Jamie shivered.

“It’s not. It’s fun but overwhelming sometimes. When I get off stage, I have all this nervous energy, and I don’t know what to do with it.” That was the short version of it. It was like I was electrified and needed to run laps or something.

“Do you have any toys?” Jamie asked. “Coloring or playing with my stuffies helps me after work sometimes. Now that I have a Daddy, it’s a lot easier to unwind.”

“I have some coloring books but there are usually a lot of people around, so I don’t bring them out much. I live with my best friend, David, and his boyfriend, Jordan. Jordan is a boy but not a little. They’re the ones who told me to go to the club. I’m glad I did because I made new friends.”

“Friends forever!” Henry cheered and I smiled. A real, genuine smile. I liked these guys, and easily pictured the three of us becoming life-long friends like me and my band brothers.

“Yes, friends forever. I like you guys, you play with me,” Jamie said, and I felt a kindred connection with him having felt the same way. I’m glad we got invited today. This reality break was just what my brain needed.

“You can come over and play with me anytime,” Jamie offered, and I knew he meant it.

“Same. My Daddies let me and Jamie have sleepovers,” Henry added, and I immediately envisioned us having overnight parties together.

“So, what are you going to name your new bear?” Jamie asked me.

“My new bear? He’s yours, you should name him.” I forgot I still had the silly bear.

“Nope, it’s my birthday so I get to choose what to do and that prezzie is for you.” Was he kidding? Jamie got all these prezzies, as he called them, and he offered one to me?

Who does that?

Good people, that’s who. Those who never had much and appreciated everything like you, Chase.

“Thank you,” I whispered, on the verge of tears. “It’s my first stuffie.” Not totally true but it was the first one anyone besides me ever gave me.

“Cheers to his first stuffie!” Henry held up his cup and we tapped ours to it.

“I’m going to name him Beary as in I love him Beary much.” I cuddled him tight and let my little slip out. It was so freeing, and I was tired of holding him back.