Page 48 of His Last Chase
“Are you their manager or something? I thought you were a teacher?” Johnny crossed his arms and took a defensive stance. How quickly this had turned.
“Yes, I’m a professor at UNLV but I’m here on a personal visit.”
“In what capacity?”
“As Chase’s partner.”
If his eyes opened any wider they’d likely have popped their sockets.
“You’re dating my son? Aren’t you my age?”
And there it was, the age issue.
“Yes and I’m in love with him. Johnny, I didn’t come here to argue or have an age debate. I’m here because the disconnect between you and Chase has negatively impacted him and I’m hoping you can repair it.”
“Fuck.” Johnny ran a hand over his unshaven face and fell back into the well-worn recliner he likely slept in most nights given his current state of…well, it honestly looked like he could care less about his own wellbeing and hygiene.
“Johnny, Chase loves you and he did everything to get your attention after Hannah died. That day Chase not only lost his mother, but the only father he’d ever known.” Tears welled in Johnny’s eyes. “I’m not here to hurt you or drudge up the past, I’m here to help you build a future with your son. Chase has grown into a wonderful man with a strong head on his shoulders but the front he puts on when he goes on stage is just that—a facade. The boy behind the man is broken and you’re the only one who canfix that. To this day Chase still loves you and has no idea what he did to push you away.”
I was at a loss as I watched the poor man succumb to his sorrow and sadness overcame him. Had I made the right choice in coming here?
Johnny rose and left the room, returning a few moments later with a photo album which he handed to me. As I flipped through I watched the man I loved grow up right in front of me. Every award Chase won in school, every extracurricular activity Chase participated in was here. Numerous articles about Embrace the Fear were included along with pictures of the band.
Johnny was suffering just as much as Chase was, if not more.
“Johnny,” I sighed and sat the book on the coffee table. “Why couldn’t you share this with Chase? Clearly you love him. Why is it so hard to say those words to him and tell him how proud of him you are?”
“When I see Chase, I see Hannah. He’s a mirror image of that wonderful woman who adored him. I just, I just couldn’t bear it. To this day I miss her. The way she smiled and danced around with Chase as she made dinner. Many nights I’d be at the table helping him with his homework while she sang along with the radio. He got his talent from her. Hannah had the voice of an angel and now she lives amongst them.”
“From what I knew of her and how Chase speaks of her, she was. But Johnny, you were gifted not one angel, but two and the other one is still here waiting for you to acknowledge him. All he ever wanted was for you to hug him. Tell him how proud of him you are and what a great man he’s become. Embrace is climbing the charts. Chase, Rhone, David, and Seltzer work hard and it’s finally paid off for them. So why not come to a show? They’ll be back in Vegas in a few weeks. I can leave a ticket and a backstage pass for you with security. No one needs to know you’re there if you don’t want them to, though I’m hoping you’ll be strong enough to approach Chase. He needs this just as much as you do. He loves you, Johnny.”
Johnny said nothing though the tears never stopped.
“But if you’re only going to break his heart a second time, don’t bother to come.”
“You really love him, don’t you?”
Ah, he speaks.
“I’ll protect Chase with my life for as long as I live.”
“You’re a good man, Casey.” Johnny scoffed, “Better than me it seems.”
“You’re in charge of your own destiny, Johnny, and you’re the only one who can fix this. Here’s my number,” I tossed one of my cards on the table. “If you want to come to the Vegas show, let me knowand I’ll arrange it with their management team. If not, this is goodbye, though I hope you make the right decision for not only Chase but for yourself as well. You need to be in each other’s lives.” I nodded and left. As soon as I got in the car, I fired off a text to Richard.
Me: Went well, I think. Heading home.
Richard: Fingers crossed he comes to his senses.
Me: Amen, my friend. Give Cecilia and the girls a hug and have a good weekend.
Richard: Will do. See you next week.
Richard wouldn’t push for details, nor would I share them if he had. He knew this wasn’t my story to tell and that was one of many things I loved and respected about my best friend. He was one of the best men and best fathers I knew. His family came first and that’s the way it should always be.
I walked in the door and two seconds later had fixed a very stiff drink. The outcome was as I’d hoped and clearly Johnny wasn’t doing well. If a bond were formed I’d definitely recommend he and Chase seek therapy to help repair not only their relationship but to also help them deal with the loss of Hannah because neither appeared to have done so.
Love lost did not equal love forgotten nor should it, but there were healthier ways to work past the pain. We were all a work in progress. You never knew what demons another battled or what scars had been left in their wake.