Page 100 of The Heir
“Emma, you are incredible. You will do incredible things in this life. Before I go, I have something I have to say—I planned to explain things to you over time, but time is running out, and I am afraid if I don’t do this now, I will never get the chance. Can I have one selfish moment?” His lips nearly touched mine as his hands cupped my face.
I nodded.
“Emma, your friendship has been the most valuable thing I have ever owned.”
“I don’t want to be just your friend, Shad. Would you stop saying that—” I whispered as I wiped at my face.
“Yes, you do, but I know it’s different for you. I know because I saw the disappointment on your face when you saw the yellow rose I gave you in your locker, which now seems so long ago. I saw the confusion in the forest when I explained kissing—what it means to people from Terra, so—let me explain.”
I felt my heart breaking at his words, those horrible awful words offriendshipstabbed me in the gut, and I turned my face away from him.
He smiled and pulled my face back to look at his. “I value friendship; I have never had a real and true friend before. My life was always filled with rules and duty. I value your friendship,Emma, but I don’t want to be just any friend to you, not like Ryker or like Ash.”
“This is not the time or place, Shad. We should be figuring out how to get out of here!” I cried. He caressed my cheek.
“No, I know when I have lost the fight. I lost to Cadian today. Emma, what I am trying to tell you—this is important, and I am not leaving here the same, so listen. There is no way out of this. Please, Emma, hear me.” He moved his body closer to mine, and I looked at his face, his eyes pleading with me to listen.
I couldn’t deny him.
“I don’t want to be just another friend to you. No, I want to be the one that gets to hold you close. I want my hand to memorize the feeling of your hand in mine.”
I felt his hands leave my face as his melody curled around my soul. His fingers found mine, and he held our hands together, raising our clasped hands high above my head, resting them on the bars of the cell, keeping me from moving away so I would listen to him. My hands never fit so right in anyone else’s before.
“I want to know the depths of your heart and recognize the rhythm of its beating—I want it to become my own. I want to know the beauty of your soul, the deep, dark parts, and the hard parts—the good and the bad, Emma—I want to know them all. I want to be the one who gets to kiss you every single day just because I can, because I want to, and because—you wantmeto. I want to be yours. I want us to be so close–so connected that I do not know where I begin and end because you are everywhere within me.”
He kissed my Jaw, trailing kisses that burned me from the inside out. He moved his mouth to my ear, “I want to be the kind of friend whose lips know your lips so intimately—that I know them better than my own.” His arms wrapped around me then. The warmth of his electric touch and his melody swirled around us, and I was entranced by him. He moved his handsover my back. I touched his face—holding his head in my hands, forgetting the wounds on my fingertips as I touched his hair. I pulled him closer to me.
“My friend—I want to be with you always. I want to sleep beside you and cradle you in my arms. I want you to say my name in the night when it’s dark, to whisper it with your lips; I want it to be the one name you call when in trouble or in joy. I want to be the one you find rest in. I want to give you that rest, and peace. If you ever have a bad dream, I want to cast it away.” He smiled his wicked grin as he moved his mouth, hovering above mine again. My hands found his neck, and I wrapped my arms around him, standing on my tip-toes.
“So yes, darling, I want to be your best friend, the one who knows you entirely–body, mind, heart, and soul. Emma—I do indeed want to be your friend.” He moved his face so he could whisper into my ear, “I want to be that kind of best friend for you—the very best kind of friend that you will ever have, darling.” He kissed my ear and then bent his head down lower, leaving a kiss on the side of my neck and at the hollow of my throat. His hands trailed down my arms, leaving me speechless. “Emma—darling, sweet, kind, strong, and brave Emma,” his voice was low and alluring as he said: “I want to be the best friend that you—that you fall hopelessly, desperately, and madly in love with as much as I am hopelessly, desperately, and madly in love with you.”
His lips met with mine in an instant. I was surprised as he had said that we couldn’t truly kiss because of what it meant to him–did that mean that he and I were forever bound? I realized then that while I might not have been ready to get married, I would not ever want anyone else. I could never want anyone else.
It was Shad–forever.
If I thought his kisses on my neck and cheek were transcending, they were nothing compared to our lips finallymeeting. It was pure electric. Electric shockwaves ran through me as our melodies swarmed around and through us as our mouths melded together. His kiss was soft and at first, tentative; then desire bubbled within us, and the kiss deepened; sparks seemed to shoot from every point of my body. I wasn’t sure what was up or what was down anymore, if I was still standing or if I was floating on air because that kiss—that electrically-charged kiss—was buzzing and electrocuting my insides. That kiss transformed my whole being; it made me his. I was his, entirely. Every single part of me, he owned. Shad owned my very soul. And as impossible as it was to believe, I owned his, too. I owned all of him, and he was mine.
“Shad, I thought you said you wouldn’t kiss me?” I asked as his lips grazed mine softly, our breaths mingling together.
“I always planned on it, darling.” He touched a strand of my hair playfully with a smile on his face. “I just didn’t want to rush you, but I can see now that clearly,thatwas stupid. You don’t have to marry me or make me any promises. I will make all the promises to you; I promise to you—” He kissed my lips again, my mouth obeying his every command. “I promise to be yours.” He kissed the corner of my mouth and smiled at me, his lips only a breath away as he spoke. “What I wish—what I want—is to be allowed to do this,” his voice was a soft whisper, a brush against my lips, “whenever I want to.”
As he stopped talking and started to make the kiss soft and tender, I cried, knowing that what we could have had together would have changed everything. It was special.But we can’t have it after this small, fragile, perfect moment, and I felt my soul nearly split in two at the loss. He pulled away from me, still looking at me, his chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, his eyes seemed surprised by my thoughts, and my tears. He had to know that that is what I wanted; I wanted him, too.
“I want that, too; all of it, Shad. I promise to be yours,” I whispered. His eyes stared into mine. I wanted to stare into his beautiful golden eyes forever. “You are that kind of friend. If that is what it means to you, Shad—then yes, you are my very, very best friend,” I whispered.
He smiled and kissed me again, his body slamming into mine and the coldness of the room melted as we melded together again. Our breaths were heavy as we kissed each other, and our melodies buzzed and twirled around us with such a beautiful sound.
How is this possible?
Thoughts flowed to me through him. He desired to make me his forever, not just in that moment. He desired to make me happy; he wanted me to see Terra, to meet his family, to see his home, to have everything returned to me that was taken away, but mostly, he wanted me—just me.
I always wanted this, Emma. I will always want this. You have no idea how long I have waited. Someday I shall tell you just how long.His lips found mine again, and I tried to memorize the moment. The love he had for me was flowing to me through his melody, and it made me feel dizzy. I was unable to fully fathom what was happening. It all seemed too good to be true.
How can someone love me that much? Is such a thing really possible for me? How could anyone love someone so flawed and scarred like me?
“It is all true, Emma. When you are with me, I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life.” He caressed my cheek and kissed me softly, lingering there. His kiss smoldered electric fire upon my skin.
“Shad, I just don’t understand—”