Page 60 of The Attack Zone
“Oh boy,” he says as he walks in.
“He stopped taking his meds,” Stacey explains. She says it without shame or judgment. Like it’s just a fact. Why isn’t she mad at me? I deserve for her to be mad at me. Thomas too.
“Buddy, we’ve talked about this,” he says as he walks over to where I’m still perched on the floor. He crouches down and places a hand on my shoulder. “You can’t just be out here raw-dogging life like this.”
Stacey lets out a little giggle followed by, “sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I laugh as I wipe the tears from my face. “He’s not wrong.”
I feel myself start to come to a bit. I start to regain control. And the guilt hits me harder than Caleb’s slap shot.
“I can’t believe I let this happen,” I say. “I was just so busy with the playoffs that I kept forgetting to pick them up.”
“It’s okay,” Stacey says with far more kindness than I deserve. “But let’s get them ordered now and we can pick them up as soon as they’re ready.”
“I probably need to up my dosage for a bit, I should call my psychiatrist,” I say.
“I’ll get your phone,” Thomas says. He goes down the hallway to my bedroom, leaving Stacey and I alone.
“I didn’t mean it,” I say to her. “Any of it. I’m so sorry.”
“I know you didn’t. It’s okay, Mitch,” she says as she cups my cheek with her hand. “It isn’t your fault,” she says.
“But it is my responsibility,” I say. “And I failed.”
“You didn’t fail.” Her thumb brushes the side of my face tenderly. “This was a little bump in the road. And we’ll figure out how to have less bumps moving forward.”
She can’t possibly think we should still do this. I just said horrible things to her for no reason. Why would she talk about ‘moving forward’?
“What do you mean ‘moving forward’?” I ask.
She lets out a little laugh. “Mitch Greggs, you should know I don’t scare this easily.”
“Dude, you have like five hundred notifications you’ve been ignoring,” Thomas says from the hallway.
“You act like this hasn’t happened before,” I say, trying to joke, but it comes out more shameful than I wanted.
Thomas rounds the corner with my phone and places it in my hand. “Time to make the call,” he says. “We’ll be here when you’re finished. Right, Stacey?”
“Of course,” she says, a soft smile on her lips. How this woman is smiling right now is beyond me, but it’s beautiful and caring and it gives me the strength I need to dial the number.
“Thank you,” I say quietly to them as the phone rings.
Thomas gives me a wink and Stacey reaches for my free hand. She laces her fingers through mine and gives my hand a little squeeze. I’m ashamed and sad. I’m terrified to think what would have happened without them being here. I’m still terrified, but with Thomas standing by me despite the number of times he’s had to pick me up off the floor, and Stacey holding my hand despite how I just lost it, I feel a little less afraid and a little less alone in this fight.
CHAPTER 29
STACEY
TWO DAYS LATER
I’m not sure what I expected manic Mitch to be like, but it was not ... that. All the descriptions I’ve heard about mania have made it sound almost fun for the person in the moment, but once he’d called his psychiatrist, Mitch explained that he experiences mixed episodes, which basically means he might be in a manic episode, but he’ll feel depressed at the same time, or rapidly switch between the two. It makes him really irritable and on edge. Sounds like hell, if you ask me.
Well, the whole thing sounds like hell, actually. I have no idea how he’s managed this so well for so long. Especially with his hockey schedule. The things he has to do daily to stay stable overwhelm even me, and I love a good checklist. It’s been three days since he had to call his psychiatrist, and either Thomas or I have been with him most of the time. He insists he’ll be fine, but I honestly just want to be with him right now. He shouldn’t have to go through this alone. AndI’d be lying if I said I wasn’t really worried about him still. The good news is, the medication has started to do its job and he’s starting to seem like himself again, and I told most of my clients that I’d be out this week so that I could focus on Caleb and Cassie’s wedding.
Mitch is taking a nap and it's almost time for dinner. I told Thomas I wanted to have a night alone with Mitch and that I’d call him if anything happens. I want to surprise Mitch, but the problem is, I have no clue what to do. He’s probably not ready to go out yet, but I want this to be special. I want him to know that I’m in this, whateverthisis, and that I’m not going anywhere. That no matter what, we’re friends (or ... whatever we are) and that he’s worthy of my friendship. I walk down the hall towards the kitchen to poke around for ideas when I find myself nearly toppling over and slamming into the hallway wall. I tripped on something. A blanket. Man, we really need to clean this place up.
I pick up the blanket and place it on the back of a dining chair, but a little corner gets stuck on the edge of the couch. It almost looks like a tent. A cozy, fun little fort tent.