Page 64 of The Attack Zone

It’s Monday.

I’m supposed to be working. What if something is wrong? We have an event next week. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Fuck,” I say, bouncing out of my chair. I start running down the hall to grab my computer bag.

“What’s wrong, love?” Mitch calls after me.

I skid back into the living room, bag in hand. “One of myother clients keeps calling me,” I say. “We have an event next week.”

“Go,” Mitch says.

“Mitch, I’m not going to leave you alone right now,” I say.

“I’ll call Thomas or Caleb if I start to not feel well,” he says. “But I promise, I’ll be fine. Go.”

“Call me if you need me,” I say. “I mean it, Mitch.”

“I will,” he says. “Now go save the world.”

I manage to let out a little chuckle as I slide on my shoes. I won’t be in my usual business outfit, but I can at least deal with whatever’s going on. Luckily, my office is just a few blocks away.

Making sure that I’ll bring name tags with me for an event in a week hardly constitutes an emergency. And it definitely doesn’t justify calling me three times in a row. But that’s my life sometimes. People with less experience fundraising need their hands held, and that’s what I’m good at, but sometimes I wish they would trust me and calm down a bit.

This is exactly what Mitch was like when we first started working together. He was so on edge and worried about every detail that he didn’t trust me to do my job. It was like we were speaking different languages. Now I realize he was doing it because he cares so much, and we’ve worked together for long enough now that we can basically finish each other’s sentences when it comes to event planning.

Ugh ... Mitch. What am I going to do? This is exactly what I’ve been afraid of. It’s exactly why I don’t date. I take my job seriously. I don’t get paid unless I do a good job. Today may have just been a drill, but I’ve had to put out many real fires before, and I don’t know how to be the business owner I want to be while being a good ... whatever I am to Mitch. I know he thinks he’s independent, and I guess he was fine relying on Thomas when I wasn’t around last week, but leaving himtoday just about ripped my heart out. I don’t want to not be there for him when he clearly needs support. But I’m officially behind on work and I need to catch up. What am I supposed to do?

I grab my phone and type out a quick text to Thomas.

Stacey: Hey, I had to leave Mitch alone to deal with a work thing. He says he’s fine, but just letting you know.

Thomas: I’ll keep an eye on my phone in case he calls.

Thomas: He’ll be okay, Stacey. This isn’t his first rodeo and it’s been a week since he started his meds back up.

But it’s my first rodeo and I feel like I jumped immediately into trying to ride the world’s most insane bull. Balance has never been my thing. I’m an all-in kinda woman. I think I went all in on this thing with Mitch and now I’m worried my business might be suffering. I get my email to my phone, so I know I’ve been ignoring things, but I haven’t really digested just how much. I take a deep breath and open my email account to find it full of messages from clients that I haven’t replied to.

Fuck.

I really don’t want to leave Mitch alone right now, but I could have a major problem if I don’t get back to some of these right away.

He’ll be okay, Stacey.I repeat Thomas’ text in my head, take a deep breath, and click on the first email. It’s a simple question that’ll take just a minute or two to answer. I can do this. I just need to focus on one email at a time.

I work my way through my inbox, and before I know it, I’m back to feeling focused and productive. I’m back to the me I know and love—the one who’s career-minded, driven, and working to make the world a better place.

The problem is, I don’t know how to be both. I don’t know how to be what Mitch needs and deserves, and be the person I’ve worked so hard to become. Just a few weeks of not being completely focused and my business almostsuffered. But I can’t exactly tell Mitch all of this. Not right now. Besides, we’re supposed to have dinner tonight. It’ll be Mitch’s first night out of the house other than the wedding. I just need to get through that, and get Mitch a little bit more stable, and then I’ll figure all of this out. For now, I guess I’ll try my best to balance both. But I know it can’t last forever. It never does.

That Night

There’s a knock on my door as I’m slipping on my favorite red heels. Mitch must be here to pick me up for our dinner. I know I have to figure out what to do. The problem is, I don’t know what I want. If I could have both Mitch and my career, I’d do that in a heartbeat. But I don’t know if I can. And I certainly don’t even know where I’d start.

I walk over to my door and swing it open. I met with one of the most adorable images I’ve ever seen. Mitch, wearing a button-up and blazer, beard perfect as always, holding yet another bouquet of flowers in front of him.

“Hey, you,” I say. “It’s not Thursday.”

“Hey, love,” he says. “I just saw these and thought of you.”

My heartbeat quickens as I cross towards him. When I reach the door, he wraps an arm around my waist.