Page 109 of First Light
“That’s it?”
“When I can leave the castle, I will come to you.” He reached out and put a hand on her cheek. “Carys, this is what’s best. It’s dangerous here, and your having this magic with Cadell is… It’s not natural. I’ll speak to my father; I can make him see that it’s for the best, and he’ll understand that I need to come and see you.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Come and see me?”
He let out a breath. “Come andbewith you, Carys. It’s not?—”
“What do you think is going to happen? Do you think you’re going to just pop in and out of my life when it works for you?”
“It won’t be like that.” He smoothed his thumb over her skin. “I haven’t worked it out in detail, but if you moved to Scotland?—”
She laughed a little and pulled her face away. “Scotland?I should move to Scotland? Just uproot my life to move across the world so you can… What? Come visit me when you get a break in your kingly duties?”
He stepped back and leaned on his sword. “I don’t want this,” he said softly. “You know I don’t.”
“Don’t you? Because you looked really comfortable at that banquet the other night. Chatting with the fae and the unicorns, drinking in that applause.” She tasted bitterness on the back of her tongue. “Here, you’re…you. When you sing, everyone turns to listen.” She smiled a little. “Life in Baywood must have seemed really small, huh?”
“No.” He shook his head. “It was wonderful. Everything I wanted. You must know that.”
Carys closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You know, ever since I found out about my sister, I have wondered how the same man could fall in love with two completely different women. Just absolute opposites, you know?” She smiled a little. “I guess that’s the point, right? My shadow self.”
“Not as unlike as you think,” he murmured.
“And I’m starting to understand it.” She nodded slowly. “The life we had in Baywood? That was like your little dream, right? The quiet, simple life versus the big important life here with so many responsibilities and duties.”
“Yes.” He lifted one shoulder. “You’re not wrong. They’re different lives, but that doesn’t mean one is better or?—”
“The thing about dreams is that we wake up.” Carys swallowed hard, forcing her words past the lump in her throat. “And I wonder if you would have woken up—because youwouldhave woken up—and realized that you were tired of that simple life.” She looked up and met his brilliant green eyes. “Because there is nothing simple about you, Lachlan, son of Robb, future chief of the Moray clan.”
“None of that means that I don’t love you.” Lachlan lifted his chin. “Maybe all that means is the life you have in Baywood is smaller than you deserve. Maybe you do belong here with me.”
“So you don’t want me to leave after all?”
“I don’t know what I want!” he whispered. “Except you. I want you. And I want you to be alive and safe, and I can’t lose another woman I love. Do you understand how hard it is for me to not lock you in a damn tower so no one can touch a hairon your head?”
God, why couldn’t it be simple? Carys shook her head and pushed back the tears that wanted to fall. “I believe you want me safe.”
“I want youalive.” He looked over his shoulder at the soldiers gathered in the courtyard. “And in this place, that is never a guarantee.Thatis why I want you gone.”
She met his eyes and didn’t waver. “I know you didn’t hurt her, Lachlan. I know that in my bones. But I’m not leaving without finding out who did. If you don’t want to help me, I understand.”
He lifted his eyes to the sky and shook his head. His smile, when he managed it, was bitter. “You’re more like your sister than you realize.”
Lachlan didn’t look at her again; he turned and walked away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The following morning, Carys met Queen Elanor, Queen Eamer, and Aisling in a small room that looked over the formal garden. It was the queen’s morning room, and there was a breakfast table laid out with boiled eggs, savory sausages, apples, pears, and berries, and pastries that looked as if they’d come fresh from a French bakery.
“Carys!” Elanor held out both her hands. “I am so glad you decided to join us.”
She offered Elanor an apologetic smile. “Finally, right?”
Elanor smiled, and her eyes creased in the corners. “I would not say it. But yes. I’ve been looking forward to this.” She was a beautiful woman with silver threading her blond hair and clear blue eyes the color of a summer sky.
“I am so fortunate to meet you,” Elanor continued. “If you catch me staring, know that it is only because I loved your sister very much.” A shadow of pain flickered across the queen’s eyes, and she blinked rapidly. “But now is not the time to mourn. This is a celebration. Come and meet your aunt.” Elanor motioned to where Queen Eamer was already seated at the head of the table next to Aisling.
Carys walked over and offered an awkward curtsy. “Your… Majesty?” She turned to Elanor. “I am so sorry—I don’t know what’s proper here. I am probably addressing you wrong too.”