Page 31 of Stealing Embers
When I stop my silent struggle, resigned to be pretzeled in this tiny space with a stranger, his upper body shifts against my legs. It might have been a shrug.
“It wouldn’t have mattered. We were coming in here whether you were scared or not.”
Is he not going to say anything about half my body being curled on his lap?
Great, denial it is.
We fall into an uncomfortable silence. Between our breaths and the dripping sound from some nearby water source, our lack of conversation is deafening.
I try to ignore Steel, but the places our bodies touch itch with awareness. Heat from his arms sears my skin through my jeans. My muscles are tense from holding still. An uncomfortable ache from holding the same position permeates my body.
And darn it! I can’t stop sucking in his stupid boy-smell.
The slow passage of time is making it worse.
“What is phasing?”
Might as well try to distract myself.
“You really don’t know anything, do you?”
Without being able to see his expression, I can’t be sure he isn’t insulting me, but his tone is filled with curiosity rather than mockery. Even so, I fight back a sharp reply and remind myself people have said much worse to me.
“I wasn’t raised like you,” I remind him. “I’ve been forced to make assumptions about the spectrum world based only on my own experiences.”
“Spectrum world?”
I lift a shoulder in a half-shrug before remembering he can’t see me.
“It’s just what I call the otherworldly place only we can see. The place with the monsters.”
Several moments of silence slip by while Steel takes in my words. When he speaks, I finally get a few of the answers I’ve been so desperate for.
“I suppose that makes sense. It’s as good a name as any. We call it the spirit realm, by the way. Phasing is when we pass from one realm to the next. The mortal realm is where humans live. The spirit realm is where the Fallen exist—the beings you consider monsters. They were angels that got booted out of heaven. Nephilim—that’s us—can toggle between both realms. The Fallen can’t.”
When I’m sucked into the spectrum world, my body always remains rooted in reality, even as it exists in the other realm as well. My erratic behavior was the main reason why I bounced to so many foster homes. Was it different for them?
“What do you mean by ‘pass from one realm to the next’?”
Steel shifts his body and readjusts my legs. I pretend not to notice, which isn’t hard in the dark.
“When we phase, our bodies disappear from one realm and appear in the other. In the mortal world, we are very similar to humans. We have increased strength and speed, don’t need as much sustenance or sleep, but aside from that, we blend in with the rest of humanity. It’s not until we phase into the spirit realm that our celestial powers manifest.”
Powers. Yes. Now it’s getting interesting.
“So, you can’t turn into an animal in the real world?”
“No, I can only do that in the spirit realm.”
“But I don’t disappear when I phase. And I don’t think I have any special powers.”
It’s quiet for a moment. I wouldn’t mind being able to see his face right about now. Any expression will give me a small clue as to what he’s thinking.
“Several things about you are a mystery,” he finally admits.
I never liked being different. For years it had been a secret dream of mine to find a place I truly belonged. I gave up that dream the moment I ran away. Even as I tried to convince myself it didn’t matter, the truth is that to discover there’s a place I belong, but to still be an anomaly, is devastating.
Sable was wrong. The more I learn about this group, the more obvious it becomes how different I am.