Page 79 of Stealing Embers
Steel is one of the most powerful Nephilim at Seraph Academy, and tonight almost spelled his doom. If something like that happens again when one of his siblings is with me, the conflict could be deadly.
I’m used to facing dangers and protecting myself, but to be responsible for another life… a bolt of terror spears my heart.
Until this moment, I haven’t slowed down enough to consider Steel may have a point.
“What’s that look for?” Ash asks. “I don’t like it.”
“I guess it’s just . . .” I gnaw on my lower lip, my teeth sawing back and forth. Indecision rides me hard as pre-mature guilt opens its mouth wide, ready to swallow me whole. If anyone ever got hurt because of me, I’d never forgive myself. “When I think about it, he does sort of have a point.”
Why can’t I be one of those people who doesn’t care? Considering I grew up without a soul watching out for my best interests, I should be programmed to stay focused on number one.
Why can’t my inner workings be as hard and unfeeling as the shell I project?
Ash uncrosses her legs and travels the short distance to my bed. Settling gently at the foot, she waits until she knows she has my attention.
“No, he doesn’t. Battling the Forsaken—that’s something we all have to face someday. It’s part of our purpose, divinely etched into our DNA. The Fallen may have created us to aid them, but our instincts to fight against evil won out. Steel just has more trauma than most of us.”
Pulling my knees to my chest, I dangle my arms over them. “You mean because he’s going on missions already?”
Ash shakes her head, her curls bounce against her cheeks and shoulders. Reaching up, she winds her hair into a top knot, securing it with an elastic band.
“No, Steel had a twin sister, Silver. She—”
“Wait, you’re telling me all the kids in that family are twins?”
Ash itches her brow. “Yeah, it’s kind of a Durand family thing. They always have kids in pairs. I don’t know all the details—it was about six or seven years ago now— but it happened when Steel’s family was on vacation in the Swiss Alps. Steel and Silver went missing one night. I’ve heard there was a blizzard, but maybe that was an exaggeration. Either way, search parties didn’t find them that night. The next day Steel returned. Silver never did.”
“Did she . . . die?”
“That, or worse. They never found her body. From what I’ve heard, Steel was half frozen when he found his way back. He couldn’t remember anything. Silver could have easily been buried in the snow somewhere. Parts of the mountains in that area never thaw, and even though we’re hardy, we can still freeze to death.
“I don’t think Steel ever talks about it, but considering he’s already lost one family member—a twin at that—it makes sense why he’s so protective of the rest. Even fanatically so. I don’t know him well, but I get the impression he takes his role as the oldest sibling very seriously.”
That’s an understatement. He doesn’t just play the role of big brother, but protector as well.
I release a breath and settle against the headboard again.
“How long ago did you say this was?”
“I don’t remember exactly. I transferred into this academy in my sixth-year—that’s like eighth grade in a human school—so I wasn’t around when it happened. I think he wasn’t much older than Blaze and Aurora though.”
To experience such a traumatic loss so young, I can’t even imagine all the ways in which that shaped Steel.
“Every once in a while Greyson or Sterling mentions something about Silver, but it doesn’t happen often. I never thought it was my place to pry.”
A handful of seconds pass while I try to process this information. I’m not sure I can . . . at least not fully in one night.
“From what I’ve gathered, Silver was the heart of their family. They all adored her. I think Steel used to be a lot more lighthearted than he is now.”
I run a hand through my hair, grimacing at the feel of grease. How quickly I’ve become accustomed to cleanliness.
“That’s a horrible thing to happen to anyone, but at such a young age, and to have been with her on that mountain . . .” I let my words hang in the air.
Steel’s attitude toward me is beginning to make a bit more sense now. It’s easy to stay angry at someone for being a jerk, when you think it’s simply for the sake of being a jerk. It’s much harder when you realize they have layers—that there are probably reasons for the way they are and the things they do.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I press my palms against them until white stars dance behind closed lids.
“What am I going to do, Ash?”