Page 32 of One More Chapter
“Who does Ellis think he is anyway? This is the same shit he tried pulling when he first started.”
The sound of Ant’s name has always been my siren song. I pretend to keep typing, then take a few casual steps toward their circle.
“He’s been on staff for, what, two years? Dude needs to know his place.”
Someone sighs, a few laugh, and then someone new says, “He’ll figure it out when he takes this circus train we’re on and lets it crash and burn.”
I can’t take it. He may have broken my heart, may have taken the delusional future I planned out for us in the course of a week of fantasy and crashedthatstraight in to the ground, but they don’t get to talk about him like this. If I’m known for anything, it’s my vocality.
“Gosh, aren’t you guys justso excitedfor the upcoming year?” I say it loud enough that both my circle of friends and the Meadow Ridge slanderers can hear. Eyeing Juliet, I subtly tilt my head toward the circle behind me and widen my eyes. She nods in understanding.
“Yeah, I think Nathan and Anthony make a great pair.”
She nods, and the rest of our little circle catches on. From the way I’m standing between the two groups, I can tell that the others have stopped talking to listen in.
“Anthony is a great leader in our building,” Phyllis chimes in.Score one for Phyllis!“There’s so much cliquiness, and he has done his best to bring our culture closer together since he came in. He will do well in a leadership role.”
I slide my gaze toward the Meadow Ridge crew, and can tell that they’re annoyed. At that moment, one of the guys shouts, “Food’s ready!” and everyone starts to disperse. I join my girls and sigh.
“Is it really cliquey by you guys, or were you just being nice?” I ask Phyllis. She smiles warmly.
“I speak the truth, honey. Anthony showed up two years ago with a smile on his face, and it was the first time I had any hope that the negativity in our building would finally be squashed.”
I swallow that like a milkshake of glass shards.
His smile had once done that to me too.
In fact, it’s doing it to me right now.
From over the grill, he waves to Phyllis, and must see me talking to her, because his gaze slides over to me and locks in. I’m entrapped by that turquoise tide pool, forced to watch the way that when he looks over to me, his smile flips to one of hope and wonder.
I can be nice without letting myself fall into the deep end again.
After we wrap up the evening, the girls and I stay to help clean up, insisting that the men head home—they put on this shindig, after all. I push through the garage as the summer sun is setting, and find the house quiet, save for the sound of his shower.
He comes into the living room later, as I’m reading on the couch in my pajamas. I don’t expect his flustered frustration. Something in my heart aches to fix it, but I let him lead.
“I’m uh… Gonna head to bed.”
Only, he doesn’t head to bed. Doesn’t move for a few beats. He sits down on the couch, sighing as he scrubs his hand over his slightly damp, unruly blonde hair. I mark the page in my book as he stares at the wall looking like he wants to say more.
“You okay?”
He hesitates, then lets out a sarcastic laugh. With his head hanging low, he tilts to look over at me.
“There were a lot of complaints about our wiffle ball picnic.”
He shrugs, and I can sense every single undercurrent that he isn’t saying.
I tried and I failed. I thought I did something good.
It’s everything he confessed to me on the beach that night, when our silly little game of spilling secrets had turned serious.
I know too much about this man, and at the same time, I know nothing at all.
All I know is that, despite the way my heart aches for how he hurt me, I want to wrap myself around him like a bandage and make him feel better.
“Well, fuck them then. I had a good time.”