Page 43 of From the Ashes

My head swiveled and stopped on Charlie’s house at the end of the street. It seemed closer than I remembered. Then again, I wasn’t a middle schooler anymore. There was an SUV parked in the grass that was terribly dirty considering the entire town had paved roads. But everything else was the same. The house was still dark blue, and the shutters were still white, but more weathered than I remembered. There was still a fence around the backyard, and it looked like it was in great shape. In fact, I could see someone moving back there, although that was probably due to the landscaping truck sitting in the driveway.

But that wasn’t what made me stop. All the curtains in the house were drawn except for one that was pulled aside near the bottom. It would’ve been unnoticeable except that when I turned toward the house, I watched it swing back into place, like someone had been watching.

For one brief moment I wanted to run down the road and pound on that door, demanding that Charlie speak to me. But I didn’t know if he even lived there anymore. Maybe he’d left. Maybe he’d moved on. Maybe he reallydidn’tneed me after all.

Irritated with myself for even thinking about him, I gathered up my suit with a scoff and headed for the bus. There I threw it haphazardly on the bed, stuffed on a pair of shoes, and stomped back out. With one last glance toward his old house, I went into mine, determined to never look his way again.

CHAPTER 18

Charlie

Iturned away from the window, my back pressed against the wall as my breath caught in my throat. Anxiety twisted my stomach into knots as my heart began to pound. Had he seen me? Had Phoenix McKean noticed me staring out the window at him, gawking at his underwear in broad daylight?

As much as I was freaking out, there was a voice in the back of my head that I couldn’t shake. Nix lookedgood. Likedamngood. And I especially liked seeing him on that motorcycle. There was something about the way that riding suit clung to his body, the way he wrapped his legs around that bike, and the way the suit bulged at his groin that justdid itfor me. And then when he nearly pantsed himself in broad daylight? Let’s just say I didn’t have to look down to know my shorts were slightly tented.

And that worried me. In all the years since Phoenix had left Creekside, I’d looked at nobody the same as I looked at him. How could I when I knew he was the man I loved more than anyone else? And that included sex. Sure, I watched porn and jerked off. I had to or else I would go fucking insane. But every time Iclosed my eyes and my hand wrapped around my cock, it was Nix I saw. Even after all these years, he was the only man for me. A few failed attempts at hookups proved that to me. And now that he was back, my body was like a compass near north.

Of course, it didn’t help that the man standing at the end of the McKean’s driveway was an absolute hunk. The last time I saw Nix, he was a scrawny teenager with freckles and messy hair. But the man he’d become was so much more than that. He had a stubbly jaw that could cut glass, thick biceps, and a trim waist. Even from a distance I could see the abs as his sweaty shirt clung to his skin. And, more than anything, I saw those beautiful green eyes glinting with mischief just like they always had.

“Okay,” I said, forcing myself to breathe. “Think about something else.”

Wandering through the house, I headed to the back porch. Maybe a little sun and some fresh air would help me clear my mind. However, as I pulled open the sliding glass door and stepped out, I was struck by the scent of fresh cut grass. I’d been so lost in my thoughts that I’d totally tuned out the sound of the mower and the fact that it was Patrick’s day to come work on the lawn.

Of course, it was too late to go back inside. The moment I showed myself, Patrick lifted and hand and waved, turning his mower in my direction. I didn’t show my face often, but when I did, he always came over to chat. In fact, he was the vast majority of my social interactions for the past few years. He’d become somewhat of a good, albeit distant, friend.

“Hey there, Charlie,” he called as the sound of the mower engine died. He lifted a bare muscular arm and wiped the sweat from his brow, returning his ballcap to its previous position. “How are you doing?”

“Okay,” I muttered, keeping close to the door. “I’m sorry. I forgot you were here today–”

“It’s cool,” he interrupted before I could finish. “I needed the break, anyway. The sun ishottoday. Weird weather for late March. I can’t believe I even had to mow at all!” He glanced back at the yard. “Well, I probably didn’t. But I missed those last three mowings at the end of the season because my dad was in the hospital. So, I figured I should knock it down before it all starts to grow back.”

“Y-Yeah. It got long I guess…”

He was right. The yard had been a practical meadow by the end of the season and the snow came before it could be cut back. But now, thanks to his work, it was looking normal again and I could even see little tufts of green here and there trying to poke through.

“Want a beer?” Patrick offered, walking toward the back gate. “I’ve got plenty.”

“Uh… probably not,” I replied, hunching my shoulders and turning my face away. “You know… meds and stuff…”

“Oh yeah. Probably not a good mix.”

“Yeah.”

“No worries. I’ve got some soda too. I’ll grab you one.”

Before I could reply, he was gone. I just sighed, letting my shoulders sag once more. I hated mentioning the cocktail of drugs I had to be on just to stay sane. It was my least favorite subject. Although Patrick, to his credit, never made me feel bad about it. In fact, he treated it like it was a totally normal thing. Some people took heart medication and some took pills for depression. Me, I just happened to take pills because light, sound, and people got me worked up into such a frenzy that I would just pass out. And then, if I was lucky,someone would find me before I died of exposure or rolled into a ravine.

“Heads up!”

I looked up just in time to catch the can flying toward my head before it struck me. It was wet and I nearly dropped it twice, thoroughly shaking it up in the process.

“Whoops,” Patrick laughed. “Sorry. I thought you saw me coming.”

I shook my head. “Spaced out.”

“No worries.” He gestured me over to the Adirondack chairs I had on the far side of the covered porch. “Come on. Let’s sit and chat a bit. We haven’t caught up in a while.”

As much as I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, maybe Patrick’s invite came at an opportune time. I wanted to think about Nix and his perfectly sculpted bodylessthan I wanted to talk to Patrick. It was a welcome distraction.