Page 75 of From the Ashes
“Nix,” I said, my patience wearing thin with his constant machismo. “Shut up.”
His chest deflated instantly, his expression shifting to surprise at my tone.
“Nix and I are just friends,” I said, turning back to Patrick. “He wants more than that and I’m figuring out if I want that too.”
“Oh. Well, I hope you figure it out,” Patrick said, looking a little uncomfortable with the sudden tension in the room. “For the record, I always figured you two would end up together. It just seemed…inevitableIguess.”
“We’ll see where it goes,” I said, shooting a glare at Nix. “And if he can behave himself around myonlyfriend in town.”
Nix hung his head, looking pretty ashamed of himself. I probably been a bit hard on him, but it was early and he was already causing a ruckus with his false bravado. I didn’t need him to protect me from the world or other men. I wanted him to be at my side as a partner, not a guard dog.
“Well, practice makes perfect, right?” Patrick offered. “Why don’t we have a game night or something this week?”
Before I could say anything, Nix nodded, lifting his gaze once more.
“I could do that,” he said, sounding eager to prove himself. “I’m here for a couple more days, so we’d have to do it fairly soon.”
“How about here tomorrow night? Does that work for you both?”
Again, before I could answer, Nix did for me.
“Yeah. And bring your boyfriend with you. Maybe if I meet him, I’ll finally believe you’re gay and not just some horny teenagers.” Nix grinned as he stepped over to Patrick, holding out his hand. “Sorry for being a dick… I just… I guess I haven’t processed some stuff yet.”
“No harm done,” Patrick replied, shaking his hand. He polished off his coffee and sat the cup on the counter. “Well, I better get this lawn done. I’ve got at least six more to do today before I can go home.” He glanced up at Nix, giving him a wink. “And I’ll make sure to keep my shirton, okay?”
Nix chuckled. “Thanks.”
“See you tomorrow night then!”
Patrick left through the slider, going back to his mower. Nix, on the other hand, stood at the window smiling, looking pretty proud ofhimself. He turned to me, searching for approval. But all he found was panic.
Their entire exchange would’ve been adorable if not for the fact that Nix just invited people over to my house without asking me. It wasn’t just people I knew either, but a total stranger as well. Sure, Tyler was Patrick’s partner, but I didn’t know the man. It had taken me six years to even let Patrick into my kitchen for a drink. And now that Nix was here, I was supposed to host an entire game night and still be able to function.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, my hands shaking as I headed to my bedroom.
I didn’t want Nix to see how upset I was. After all, his invitation was a totally normal thing to do where friends were concerned. People got together and hung out sometimes. So, instead of making him feel bad, I went into my room and closed the door behind me. Leaning my back against it, I slid down the hard surface until I came to rest on the floor. I forced myself to take a few deep breaths, concentrating on my breathing.
If I wanted a future with Nix, I had to be able to work through these things. I couldn’t be a mess every time something unexpected happened. When Nix was around, unexpected was the norm. That’s the way it was when we were kids and from what I could tell, that hadn’t changed at all. Not to mention his career was erratic and lacked the measured consistency of an office job. So being anywhere near him meant that there wasn’t going to be a plan ninety percent of the time. The thought terrified me, but I forced myself to breathe through it.
I wanted a relationship with Nix. I knew that in my heart. But I’d been trying to give myself time to come to terms with it and all the change that entailed. However, it seemed like I was going to have tomake a decision faster than that. Life wasn’t going to wait for me to get my shit together. Broken or not, if I wanted to be with Nix, I had to push through the discomfort.
And that’s exactly what I was going to do.
CHAPTER 32
Phoenix
“I’m heading over to Charlie’s,” I called from the front door as I slipped my shoes on. “I’ll probably just stay over there.”
My mother was in the foyer in an instant.
“You’re spending a lot of time over there,” she said, a knowing grin on her face. “And a lot ofnightstoo.” She narrowed her gaze at me. “What’s going on between you two, Phoenix?”
“What? Nothing!” I said a little too quickly. “We’re just… you know…catching up. We’ve been apart for a long time.”
“Phoenix,” she said softly, putting her hand on my arm. “I’m not blind, you know. I’ve seen you sit by the boy’s side for months while he was in a coma. And I saw your reaction when he cut you out of his life. Not to mention, I read your book.” She looked up at me, her brows drawn together. “I know you love him.”
Her words should’ve shocked me. Four months ago, they would have. But after Ted’s warning and my dropping everything to comeback to Creekside to see Charlie, I couldn’t even pretend to be surprised. Ofcourseshe knew. How could she not? The poor woman had gotten me a permanent room in Portland for the entire four months Charlie was in the hospital because I refused to leave his side. That was a lot of care for us beingjust friends.