Page 90 of From the Ashes

Once those were on, I went back into the house and shut everything up, sealing the entire thing top to bottom. I didn’t want any more smoke getting in and I especially didn’t want to encourage embers to take root inside the house. The last thing I did was get a handful of t-shirts and handkerchiefs, and soaked them through with water. I knew it wasn’t very effective for filtering smoke, but considering I didn’t keep gas masks on hand, it was the best I could do. I wrung one out and wrapped it around my nose and mouth, hoping it would help a little bit.

Then I went to my room and drew the curtains. With no way out of town without getting burned, I knew I had to stay where I was. But being able to see outside was only going to make things worse. If I was going to die here, I didn’t want to see it coming.

And that thought, more than anything, was what tipped me over the edge. I walked to the corner of the room and pressed my back against the wall, sliding down until I was sitting on my butt. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I buried my face between them, rocking back and forth.

Outside the fire roared, getting closer and closer. For six years I’d been terrified of going outside, convinced that some terrible accident would befall me just like it had my mother. And now it was a sobering realization to know that it had all been in vain. The only thing I succeeded in doing was avoiding life. I had no happy memories to look back on. Well, except for the week I spent with Phoenix. I wished, more than anything, that I’d let him take me back to Boston. That I’d given in to my feelings and allowed myself to tell him that I loved him.

And now, I’d never get the chance.

CHAPTER 38

Phoenix

The award ceremony hadn’t even begun yet and I was already bored out of my mind. Tony had been exaggerating a bit when he said it was just some small thing that didn’t matter. Considering the venue that had been booked and the two hundred or so guests that were being seated, it seemed like a much bigger deal than he was letting on. It wasn’t until I picked up one of the place holders that I realized it wasn’t just some old biddy book club like Tony had said. It was an event to honor the most influential authors in all of Oregon. And I was the guest of honor.

“So… I guess they want you to give a speech,” Tony said as he came back to the table, taking a seat next to me. “Something about inspiring the authors here to achieve your level of success or whatever.”

I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. “And… you didn’t think to tell me thissooner?” I hissed. “I don’t have a fucking speech prepared!”

“Just say whatever,” he replied, waving his hand dismissively. “They’ll eat it up. Nobody here is judging what you say. They just wanna feel like you’re talking tothemdirectly. That you’re telling them it’s possible to do what you did.”

“You mean get an obstinate agent and get really fucking lucky?”

“Yeah, that,” he nodded. “Just make it flowery.”

I reached up, rubbing my eyes furiously. “I really hate you sometimes…”

“Hey. I got you to Oregon. I got your fucking motorcycle here too. The least you can do is give a speech and then you can ride off to your boyfriend and make amends.”

“If he’ll even see me,” I sighed.

“He’ll see you. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I’m not sure he’ll enjoy being hounded by you like you did to the publisher.”

“Well, then I guess he better not fight me then.” Tony gave me a look I’d seen a thousand times before. “I always get what I want.”

Seeing that look in his eye, I believed him. He’d never let me down before and I doubted he would this time either. Tony, albeit annoying and stubborn, was fiercely dependable.

“So how long is this thing supposed to be?”

“I don’t know, maybe an–”

My phone blared from the table, startling us both. The thing had been on silent for years with only two numbers allowed to ring through. And both of them belonged to my parents. They never called unless something was up. So, naturally, I answered straight away.

“Hey mom,” I said. “I’m about to start an author thing, can I call you back?”

“Phoenix!” a frantic voice replied on the other line. “I’m so glad you picked up!”

My heart began to pound immediately. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

Tony leaned close immediately, putting his ear to the other side of my phone so he could listen. I made no attempt to pull away.

“We’re fine. Ted and I evacuated from Creekside. The wildfires came over the mountain this morning and they were heading straight for town.”

“Where are you headed?”

“Up to Eugene.”