Page 33 of Still Her
I stand there, leaning my shoulder against a wall as I take him in. I watch him move and let his voice invade my mind, carrying me away. His energy looks like it has no end, whereas I am fading. I’m exhausted, drained and spent; not to mention already feeling sore from my earlier dance party for one. I’ll just watch for one more song.
They wrap upBreakthroughwith a slamming bang before Pete, Jack’s guitar tech, meets him halfway across the stage to trade guitars with him, handing him the acoustic one he uses forSee Her. As Jack grabs it from Pete, he looks past him at me, and our eyes lock on to each other. His gaze holds mine as he slips the strap over his shoulder, his expression one of wonder and interest mixed with relief. He reclaims his position in front of the mic. “I know you all know this one,” he teases, letting his hardcore stage demeanor slip for just a couple of seconds. I’m standing in the perfect position to catch his dimple, making my heart give a hard squeeze and then spreading warmth when it releases.
As his low, hard voice sends the lyrics out into the arena, the ones that were inspired from the first time Jack saw me dance, I watch as his face slowly shifts into a pensive expression; like he’s realizing something the song never told him before. I feel a smile turn up the sides of my mouth as I watch and listen, giving me no choice. As the song gets close to its end, I decide now is a good time to head back to the bus. I’m so tired and I accomplished what I wanted, which was to see Jack and connect for just a minute. But there’s still a lot of unaddressed tension and I don’t want to stir him up for the rest of the show. I turn and walk back to the bus with Shane shadowing me, and when I get there, I strip and get into bed. With the dogs keeping watch at the foot of the bed, I drift off almost instantly.
* * *
JACK
I’m bringing the noise a little extra hard tonight, exerting every ounce of energy and driving it into the notes that I crank out on the guitar. The crowd is freaking out and it only feeds the fire. I’m practically shouting the lyrics into the mic. We finish the revved up, electric song that was one of our firsts with a thunderous boom and the fans respond with a roar. I take my guitar strap off my head and turn to take the one Pete is holding out to me when I see her - come on, I had to say it once.
I see my girl, leaning against the side wall off the stage, arms crossed, lips slightly parted. God, she’s so beautiful, and she’s looking at me with an expression that says she’s still holding her ground, but wanted me to know she’s thinking of me.
So much goes through my mind as I sing the song that was our first hit, the one she inspired. Like how strong and tough she is underneath when she needs to be. When I finish the song and turn to trade guitars with Pete again, she’s no longer standing there, but that’s alright. In that fleeting moment, we communicated, and as soon as my job is done up here, I’ll be holding her again.
* * *
MAYZIE
In the middle of the night, I’m pulled into that pocket between sleep and awake as the bed dips, and the covers gently lift beside me. I feel one of Jack’s strong arms, dewy from a recent shower, wrap around me as his chest lines up flush against my back, making me feel nothing but contented happiness and warmth. I feel his clean-shaven cheek rubbing gently back and forth across the side of my face along with a few damp strands of hair tickling my forehead as he nuzzles me. I can’t help but lean into the affection, counter rubbing my face against his. When he burrows his face into my neck, I turn over to face him. His hand splays protectively against my back as mine connect with his chest, basking in the feel of it. My head has since cleared and I’m not mad at him. Even if I were, I’d still be doing this. That’s how amazing this makes me feel. When he holds me against him like this, there’s no happier or safer place in the world for me. We don’t speak; we simply fall asleep in the security blanket of each other.
16
Mayzie
In the morning,I wake to find myself in the same safe place, Jack’s dark blues already on me. They aren’t searching my face, but more… exploring, like he’s trying to see something that he hadn’t before. When he reaches over to push a strand of hair off of my forehead, the gentle smile that softly spreads across my mouth couldn’t be more natural.
“Hey,” he rasps at me with a sweet smile of his own. I can tell by his voice that he sang himself hoarse last night.
“Hey,” I whisper back.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry too.”
“Baby, I know you can do anything. I just -,”
“Shh, baby you need to whisper,” I urge. His voice is seriously scratchy and cracking a little.
He obliges, whispering, “I just can’t stand the thought of… you know.”
I nod, knowing what he’s saying. “I don’t want to do it. I’m not even saying Ishoulddo it. I just don’t want to discount it. I know it seems like the buy-out option is the safest, but I feel like the dipshit still wins. And even then, he still might not actually leave us alone, you know?”
“I know,” he mouths, his eyes at half-mast. “And I promise, we’ll figure it out together sweetheart.”
“Okay,” I smile and nod at him.Together. We’ve used the word plenty of times, but for some reason, when he says it now… it’s like our relationship achieved a whole new level I never knew was possible. My insides give a warm squeeze at the notion we’re on solid ground. “You should get some more sleep,” I urge him.
“No way, get over here,” his grumbling voice breaks and cracks with the words as he pulls me closer.
“Jack, listen to yourself! You need to rest your voice so you can sing the next show,” I try to lecture as I let him throw both an arm and leg over me.
“Okay, okay. I will,” he placates in a whisper. “Just stay in bed with me for a while.” He buries his face in my shoulder. “Baby, I missed you. I hate when you’re mad at me.”
“I wasn’t mad at you,” I reason as I try to find somewhere to put my hand on him. Seriously, he has me buried. “I was just mad.”
“I love when that fire comes out of you,” he leans back to look in my eyes. “One of the things that made me fall in love with you is how you’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever met, and yet you don’t take any shit. Not even from me.”
“Well, that could just be me overcompensating for all those years I didn’t know I had it in me,” I say self-deprecatingly.