Page 48 of Still Her
Kitten. This is from Eli. I had a feeling, but this just makes it plain, no mistaking it. The words start to float around on the paper of the card and I have to pull my eyes away from it before I pass out. I look around the room for something else to focus on, settling on the window, where I see the high floors of skyscrapers against a backdrop of bleak, grey clouds. It’s late afternoon and the daylight is diminishing.
Once I feel I have my bearings again, I look back down at the card to make sure it wasn’t a hallucination. It’s really there on the paper, this is happening.Oh my God. I keep looking at the card, zeroing in on random words.Tomorrow. This is happening tomorrow.Capulet. We’rehere, at the Capulet. Right now.Oh, shit. Is he here right now?I look at the plastic card that looks very much like the one Jack and I have to this room, only now I realize that this has a ‘P’ marked on it on one side in a regal, gold font that is so pale, it’s almost iridescent.Penthouse. As in super fancy hotel room.
6 PM. That’s when the Up Late Show will be taping.Son of a bitch. The guys are going to have to leave for that at four-thirty to get to the studio to be prepped and briefed before the taping actually starts. Then it will be another two hours or so after that before they get back here. The conniving douche-wad chose a nice solid time block that the guys will be gone. I throw the envelope and cards onto the bedspread and cram my hands into my hair as I start pacing, only vaguely aware of the TV still babbling in the other room. I talk myself out of panicking as I focus hard on keeping my breathing steady and even. I need to focus on what to do. I need to call Morris. No. I need to tell Jack then he and I will call Morris together. I rush over to the bed and snatch up my phone. I dial Jack and then remember I might be disrupting a radio interview. Shit! I hang up before it can ring. I cram my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and realize that I’m still pacing like a caged tiger. I have to get out of here.
I turn out of the bedroom and walk past Shane who does a double-take before turning the TV off and getting to his feet. At the last second I see my key card to the room on the entry way table, grab it, and slip it into my other back pocket. I shove my feet into my ankle boots as Shane’s footsteps approach.
“Mayzie? What’s going on?” he asks as I straighten up.
“Nothing, I just need to get out of this room for a while.”
“Where are we going?” Part of me would rather that question not include the word ‘we’, but the other part makes me feel secure with him tailing me.
“I have no idea,” I answer as I yank the door open and stalk into the hallway that is thankfully empty. Shane walks quietly behind me, doing his best to give me the illusion that I’m alone. When I reach the elevator bank halfway down the hall, I consult the directory mounted to the wall across from it. I don’t know what the hell this hotel could offer me in terms of escape while still having privacy, but I peruse it anyway. There are spas, gyms, bars, and on the fourteenth floor… a ballroom. It’s probably being used, but going to check it out will kill five minutes.
Shane quietly steps onto the car with me, and we ride down from the twentieth floor to the fourteenth in silence. When we get off, I turn left in accordance with the sign that indicates where this ballroom is. When I reach it, no one is in sight and I don’t hear anything coming from beyond the doors. There are several French style partition doors that are closed to the hallway, and I try each one of them, until the fourth opens for me.
Shane lingers at a safe distance down the hall, but he gives me a cautious smile as I glance at him over my shoulder as I slip inside.
After the door closes quietly behind me, I gaze around at the dark, grand room. There are tables covered in starched white linens that take up the majority of the space in the room, save for the square dance floor in the middle. The only light comes from the windows that line the back wall and are at least three stories high. They have billowy white curtains parted to reveal what little is left of the day’s light, and the buildings lit up against the dark grey skyline. From where I stand, the view is already breathtaking and beckons me forward for a closer look.
I cross the dark hardwood floor, enjoying the click of my boot’s heels against it. My feet meet thin carpet again as I approach one of the expansive windows. I gaze out at all of the buildings that tower over me from the floor I’m on, spotting a Christmas light display in a window every so often. I look down to the street to see a mesh of fancy cars and yellow cabs, while other commuters are hoofing it through a mob on the sidewalk. I turn my stare out towards the park that is kitty-corner to the Capulet, and is cordoned off with a black wrought-iron gate. It has pathways surrounded by trees and shrubbery, some of which are adorned with white lights, giving it a peaceful and enchanted feel. I press my hand to the cold glass, absorbing the chill into my palm before placing it to the back of my neck in an effort to soothe the nervous fever trying to take over my body.
The words of Eli’s creep-o-gram still invade my mind, causing an eerie feeling of a heavy brick being dropped into my stomach, to the extent that I almost feel ill. I focus on the lights of the park, and keeping my breathing calm and under control.
I’ve known for several weeks that this was coming, I tell myself.It’s just finally happening and it’s freaking scary as hell.That’s all. It’s almost over, I try to console myself.
I keep on with my little mantras, affirming to myself that all I have to do is be in this Costco-sized douche-box’s presence for a little while, just long enough to get him to slip and reveal his intentions. It will be unpleasant, but it won’t be forever. Just one time. Just for a while. If I can’t do that, then I have no strength, no bravery inside me, and I know that’s not true. I have it. I don’t want to use it, but I will. I have to.
I turn and look over at the dance floor, something that has always brought me solace. My jeans and sweater are not exactly conducive to the movement dancing requires, but I stride over to it anyway. I kick off my boots and let myself slip lightly in my socks over the wood, doing a few turns and a couple of spins before letting go of the idea of dancing it out. Instead, I sit down with my knees against my chest, content in this cavernous, quiet room, with my arms wrapped around my legs.
Just think, after tomorrow night, it’s over. No more living with this dread.
That last notion gets me thinking about how Eli hasn’t just messed around with us in isolated incidents. He’s done so much more. It makes a spark of anger ignite in my gut. It’s small, but it’s there. I go back to the day I danced on the practice court earlier in the tour, and grab onto the emotions I channeled then. I start mentally pulling them in, letting them join the boundless strength that my love for Jack gives me. I let it all come together, willing it to infuse me with the courage I desperately need.
I press one hand to the parquet of the dance floor as if it’s a source of infinite strength that I can draw from, close my eyes, and just be.
* * *
JACK
Matt and I trudge down the hallway toward mine and Mayzie’s hotel room. While Josh and Chris decided to go grab dinner somewhere, he and I felt more like hanging out in the room and ordering in. I swipe my key card and open the door to a deserted suite.
“Maze?” I call out, and am greeted by silence. Neither she nor Shane appears to be here, and while I can’t imagine why, I try not to get my gander up about it. I’ll call her in a few minutes and see about her either coming back from wherever she is or meeting up with her. Since Shane’s not here, I assume he’s with her and so I’m not too worried. Matt picks up the folder that holds all the take-out options and the room service menu as I shuck my jacket and drape it over one of the chairs at the dining table before heading to the bedroom to use the adjoining bathroom. It’s not until I come back out that I notice something lying on the bed. I see a torn envelope and two small cards tossed haphazardly on the bedspread. I pick up the plastic card and examine it. It looks like the key card to a hotel room, but other than that, it doesn’t mean anything to me. I toss it back down and pick up the small paper card. This one has something printed on it…
The card starts to shake in my hand before it crumples in my fist. I toss it down onto the bed and rake both my hands into my hair. The breath I pull into my lungs feels like it might shatter my chest and I’ve barely let it out before I pull in another one. There’s no mistaking who this is from and what it means. Reality crashes into me like a wrecking ball. There’s no more worrying about this happening. It’shappening.
A million things race through my mind in a matter of seconds. A penthouse hotel room where Eli wants to be alone withmy wife.Mygirl. A fire ignites in my gut as I think of the possible things he thinks he’s going to get to do with her. The idea of one of his fingers touching any part of her body makes me…
Before I know it, I’m ripping the lamp off the bedside table and out of the wall, making the light go out and hurling it across the room where it hits the opposite wall with a crash, before falling to the floor in several broken pieces.
“Jack!” Matt comes rushing into the room just in time to see me overturn the nightstand. “Jack! What thefuck?!”He stops to take in the scene for about half a second before asking, “The hell is wrong with you, man?!”
I grab the crumpled card and thrust it at him. “Thisis what’s fucking wrong with me,” I snarl before picking up the key card and tossing it at him. He snatches it out of the air and looks down at the typed words.
“Disgusting piece of shit,” he mumbles, nodding down at the card, echoing about a fraction of my sentiments. I lean down and grip the bedspread, dropping my head and trying like fuck to calm down. But my mind wanders to that piece of shit looking at Mayzie like she’s some kind of treat and I’m hit with another wave of rage so intense, I feel like my head could explode. I can’t hold back the curses that come roaring out of my mouth before I turn to the wall, drawing my arm back to punch the hell out of it, but Matt catches it and hauls me back. “Jack! Get a-fucking-hold of yourself! Now!”
I drop my arm, but the fire is still blazing, and thunder and lightning are cracking and crashing inside my skull.