Page 30 of Where You Are
I wakeup the Monday morning after Matt dropped me off with a bittersweet longing to be back at the lake. I lay in bed for a while, replaying every touch, every look, and every laugh. I got to see how many different ocean shades his blue eyes could turn, and the sex was more than worth the wait. While I’ve been with guys on several occasions throughout my adulthood, this was the first time I felt like I was with a real man.
But more than the romantic bubble we were in and the fun in the sun, things just felt right; with Mattandat the lake. I could see myself living in a place like that year-round. And I felt at home with Matt. Not one moment felt awkward or like I was a guest. We just slipped right into a romantic and companionable dynamic.
When I feel like I’ve reveled in the memories enough to be considered a lazy ass, I finally put them away and force myself to get up. Although I have to admit it’s nice having a job where I make my own hours. I lazily saunter out of the bedroom and down the short hallway, only to have years taken off my life when I discover my sister sitting at the small kitchen table. I let out a shriek and clap a hand on my chest like I’m trying to keep my heart from jumping out.
“Sarah! Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!” I scold, still trying to get my breath back in my lungs where it belongs.
“Sorry,” she sings, obviously not sorry at all as she holds her hands out with her elbows on the table and her legs crossed over the knee. She’s annoyingly chipper, but I see two lattes sitting on the table in front of her so I gingerly step over to the table and pick one up. I’m assuming it’s for me, and if not, oh well, that’s what she gets for being all creepy and scaring the daylights out of me.
“I’ve barely seen you around…” she starts in.
“So you thought you’d do the creepy, let yourself in and wait quietly in the person’s kitchen thing?” I rib, but decide to forgive her when I take a sip of the hot, caffeinated goodness.
“That way you couldn’t sneak off again,” she casually shrugs. “We have hardly hung out since you’ve been back. It’s like you’re more absent than when you were away.” She has a point. I just wasn’t expecting… Matt. And I certainly didn’t expect him half a day after I landed back here. “Today you’re putting in some sister time and we’re going to visit all our old favorite haunts,” she informs me like I’m a teenager instead of a grown woman. But the bossy-ass big sister thing has always been her jam, and sometimes I just have to let her have that.
“What about work?” I ask her.
“I was on call all weekend so I have today off. Now get dressed. Scoot!” She gives me a dismissive wave of her hand so I turn towards the bedroom, taking my latte with me. Hell, if I play along and do everything she wants to do, hopefully it will keep her off my back about where I’ve been with and whom.
* * *
“So where were you all weekend?” Sarah asks as she sits across from me in Maggie’s diner, the best place to go for deep-fried appetizers.
Damnit.
“I was… around,” I lie, badly, as I stuff a fried mac-n-cheese pocket in my mouth to buy myself some time to come up with more bullshit.Oh good heavens, I didn’t realize how much I missed this devil of a snack.
“Don’t lie, you’re so bad at it,” she scoffs, before taking a sip of her Diet Pepsi.
“You worked all weekend, you don’t know,” I argue with my mouth full.
“I was on call, so I came and went a lot. Your car was always at the house but you weren’t.” She goes back to fiddling with my phone, getting an Instagram account set up for me which she insists I need. Whatever. I don’t plan on using it but she is a slave to hers and wants to be able to tag me everywhere we go.
I let out a sigh. I don’t want her to know I’m seeing Matt. Actually, I find that I kind of do want her to know, it’s more like I’m not ready to share. What I’ve got going with him is pretty intense but still sort of new, and unlike if I were seeing someone she’s never met, coming out with this would have something of an impact on our inner circle.
“I was at the lake,” I say, giving in with a partial truth.
“Ooh, how nice!” She pipes up in her seat. “With whom?” She passes my phone over to me and turns in her seat to hold her own up for a selfie, catching my heavy eye roll in the background.
“A friend,” I clip out quickly, grabbing a fried pickle and immediately letting it drop out of my mouth when I remember how hot they serve these suckers. My sister’s interrogation has turned me into a fidgety slob over here.
Sarah taps out what is sure to be some kind of hokey caption before setting her phone down just as I hear apingon mine, indicating the post she just tagged me in.
“Friend. Ha! I know what that means,” she chides, reaching for a pickle and I pick up my phone and snap a picture just as she spits it out with her eyes squeezed shut against her burning tongue.
“It means I went to the lake with a friend,” I say plainly, trying to dismiss the subject.
“A nameless friend means a guy you don’t want to tell me about,” she chokes out, while reaching for her drink.
Damn right, it’s a guy. One that’s turned me inside out these last few days, making me feel things I’ve never felt; making me crave him on so many levels. It’s too much to share right now, not when I haven’t processed it all myself. Time to level with Sarah.
“You’re right. I was with a guy, and I don’t want to talk about him.”
Sarah tilts her head and sighs in disappointment. I feel bad telling her that I don’t want to share every detail of my life with her like I always have.
“You usually tell me everything… this must be big.” I can tell by her tone and her face that she’s bummed, but trying to be understanding, before her eyes turn devious.
“Just give me a hint,” she raises an eyebrow.For God’s sake.“I bet I know him, that’s why you won’t tell me his name!”