Page 66 of Where You Are
“If I had known what he was up to, I would have tried harder to stop him, to find some way to beat him.” My voice isn’t the only thing shaking. My entire body is trembling as my heart rapidly pounds my blood through every vein and nerve in my body. “I was so scared of what that sex tape would do to Jack’s reputation, and what would happen to Kasey and Luna, I didn’t think twice.”
“My wife and my sister,” Jack angrily mutters between clenched teeth as he continues to pace. “I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair, disheveling the hell out of it.
“Melanie,” Mayzie’s voice remains calming, but also takes on a practical tone. “Number one, there were plenty of women before me who were too scared to stand up to Eli because he made sure they felt that way. He bullied and intimidated them into feeling like they had no choice but to live with it.”
She takes a breath, and gives me a moment to let that point sink in before she continues.
“Number two, with me, it was a slow and gradual process. He started small with inappropriate looks and comments and worked his way up from there, so mine and Jack’s guards were already up. You had no warning whatsoever. He appeared out of thin air and ambushed you with threats towards you and the people you love. Not to mention he was all ready with the threat of lawyers and cops on his side, so you couldn’t consider any way out of it.
“And number three, with me, he didn’t threaten alittle girl.” She ends her sentence with a note of conviction in her voice. “With me, he was just a creepy, entitled asshole.”
“Don’t downplay what he did to you, Maze,” Jack interjects gruffly, as he concludes his pacing and leans back against the pillar between the living room and kitchen, scrubbing his hands over his face.
“I’m just putting it in plain perspective, Jack. What he did to your sister was ten times harder to overcome,” she says, defending her stance as he drops his head back and closes his eyes. He nods, and looks over to me with regret all over his face.
“I spent a year of my life with him,” I say, shaking my head at the floor as I voice my thoughts. “He had me fooled for an entire year. He didn’t have you fooled for a minute.”
“You were a different person back then, and likely so was he,” she reasons. “Back then, to you, he was just this nice guy who you enjoyed spending time with. By the time we met him, he was already a well-established sleaze,” she finishes with a wave of her hand.
I’ve listened to everything she’s said over the last few minutes, and to my brain, it all makes sense. It’s just going to take a little while for my feelings to catch up. I look up to see Jack has stilled against the pillar. He stares at the floor but there are a thousand thoughts racing through his eyes, and I can tell he’s been listening intently as his wife acts as the voice of reason.
I stay a while longer as Mayzie makes tea, and I fill them in on the plan Mike has already put in motion. All the while, Jack half listens, half continues to fume. He’s done growling and cursing, but he has not once sat down. At one point, he throws open the back slider door and heads out on the deck. Mayzie gives him a minute or two before joining him out there, leaving me to continue to mull over all her words by myself in the kitchen. Five to ten minutes later, she comes back inside, Jack following behind her and he’s considerably calmer. She has a gift.
A short while later, after my nerves have settled to their baseline level, I decide to head home. Mayzie pulls me in for a tight, prolonged hug at the door, one more time reassuring me that she believes I have nothing to be sorry about, and that Anthony is going to pay. On my way down the steps, the door swings open again behind me and I turn with a start to see Jack striding towards me. Before I can say a word, he pulls me in for a tight, reassuring hug of his own.
“I’m not pissed at you, Mel,” he tries to calmly inform me, but I can tell he’s still trying to contain some remaining rage. “I’m pissed about what happened to you,” he continues, releasing me. “You don’t get to blame yourself for an ounce of anything having to do with that scum, you hear me?” Again, my head and my heart aren’t on the same page yet, but still, I give him a nod. I can tell he’s unconvinced, but he appears to be taking it for now.
“Does Matt know what you did for Kasey?” he asks, stopping me just as I’m turning towards my car. His question throws me for a loop although I guess I shouldn’t be surprised he’s asking. He doesn’t seem put off by the fact that Matt and I were together without telling him, which makes me feel dumb for not doing so before.
“No,” I breathe out, shaking my head and I chance a look up at Jack to see his expression fall slightly. “I tried. Back in December, but he didn’t want to hear it.” Jack opens his mouth, but I hold my hand up to stop his protest. “Jack… it’s his choice,” I say quietly but firmly, before heading for my car.
I climb in, and when I shut the door and start the engine, all of a sudden, I feel lighter. After telling Jack and Mayzie, I feel like a significant amount of weight that’s been on my heart since Anthony stormed back into my life has been lifted. Like after being stuck for over a year in thick cement, I can finally break free and move forward.
MATT
My phone rings and I pull it out to find Jack’s name on the screen.
“What’s going on, man?” I ask after bringing it up to my ear to answer.
“A lot, actually. Do you think you could come over here? I need to talk to you.”
Alarm bells go off everywhere in my head at the sound of his voice. My best friend sounds like he’s being crushed beneath the weight of the world.
“Is everything alright?” I ask, pausing to listen intently.
“It’s all kinds of fucked up actually, but it will be after a while. Anyway, can you come over?”
“Yeah, I can get over there,” I assure him as I set my guitar on its stand and close my notebook. When we hang up, I hop in my Jeep and head over, my nerves buzzing with the most unsettling static that something is so messed up Jack needs to talk to me, and over the phone won’t do it.
“What’s going on? Why am I here?” I ask when Jack yanks his front door open.
“We need to do some drinking and I don’t want either of us driving, and I’m not crashing at your place while my wife sleeps alone, so, we need to talk and drink here.”
Mayzie doesn’t seem to be around, and Jack makes brief mention of her possibly going out shopping and to dinner with her friend that’s expecting a baby.
I want to tell him to fucking spit it out already, but I let him gear up instead.
After pouring us both a healthy dose of Johnny Walker, we sit in his office in silence for a moment as we let the comforting burn of the first shot settle over us.