Page 89 of Shadow Kissed

“Thank you,” I say, glancing his way as we walk side-by-side. “It meant so much being able to see them and hold them.”

Raegal studies my face and nods his head. “It’s nothing.”

I pause in my steps, and he stops and waits for me to speak.

“It isn’t nothing. You didn’t need to do this, but you did, and it means so much.” I take a step forward and, leaning up on my tiptoes, I place a kiss on his cheek. He blinks as if surprised then we carry on down the back streets to my home.

We shadow weave back to my room in the mansion, and both of us are awkwardly silent. Has our relationship entered a new phase of mutual acceptance? Raegal clears his throat and pulls his hand from my waist. I realise I still have my arms wrapped around his neck and I swiftly remove them and take a step back, putting some distance between us.

“Will you be in trouble with Moryen for this?”

Raegal scoffs and shrugs his shoulders. “I’m the Lord Commander. I don’t have to play by Moryen’s rules.” He must see my apprehension. “Don’t worry, I’ll smooth it over with her and make sure there are no repercussions for you.”

“Yes, I’d rather not be on her shit list again,” I say with a grimace.

Raegal looks towards the door. “Well, I should be going. Until tonight.”

“Until tonight,” I say in agreement, and I watch as he pauses.

“That reminds me, where did you say your mother came from? Was it the north district?”

I stare at him, confused by his question. “I don’t recall you ever asking me where she was from. Why do you ask?”

He shrugs his wide shoulders in response and offers me a tight smile. “Have I not? Just curious, that’s all. Well, I should go.”

I nod my head and we both hold each other’s gaze for what seems like an age before he clears his throat and strides from my room without a backward glance.

I throw myself down onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling. What was that? Did I think he was going to kiss me? And more disturbing than that thought—had I wanted him to kiss me?

I roll over and plant my face in my pillow, groaning into it.

What is happening to me?

34

RAEGAL

Iclose the back door of the house and smile to myself when I hear Breela call me handsome. I haven’t got a clue what I am doing here. With Eretreya, I find myself doing things I don’t expect. Bringing her here is risky for the both of us, but when I saw how deeply she was missing her brothers and the disappointment she felt when she thought she wouldn’t get to see them, I knew I had to bring her here.

I walk through the back alley until I reach her house. Entering the yard, my eyes fix on her mother’s workshop. Curiosity gets the better of me and before I can stop myself, I reach for the door and step inside. Dust covers the worktops. Shelves line the wall, filled with various bottles and jars of crystal dust. A large wooden workshop bench sits in the centre of the room, the wooden top marked by years of cutting and grinding of crystals. A large sink sits over the small window that looks back at the house, and on top of the stove are various pans, some still containing crystal fragments. Her mother's tools sit atop of the table, and I take a seat on the wooden stool whereshe would have sat and spent her days. My gaze snags on a large set of drawers and I find myself drawn to them. I open the top drawer, and it contains various tools and utensils. The second draw is full of used parchments and notebooks, and I pull one out and flick through it. They contain notes of her mixtures and which crystal elements mix best to achieve the desired result. Intrigued, I pick up some and flick through them, but it’s a battered notebook shoved to the back of the drawers that snags my attention. It looks old and well-used. I flick through the first few pages and pause when I read the contents.

It’s a catalogue of observations and meaning of words.

One note reads:

Gaia’s day is the Asen festival of honouring the Mother Goddess.

I flick through more pages.

Asen mothers carry their babies in their wombs for eleven months.

It was as if the person who wrote in this book was writing themselves a guide to the realm of Asen and its people. But it’s the next page that piques my interest.

Nightmares—none exist, only dreams. Looks like the nightmares ceased when the eternal sleep began.

Eternal sleep I’ve heard those words before. Reya’s mum uttered them as she lay dying that day. She looked into my eyes and said, ‘protect her at all costs, she is the key to ending the eternal sleep, and with it the war.’ Words I still puzzle over now. I close the book and pop it into the inside pocket of my jacket. I’ve been so busy concentrating my attention on Eretreya’s connection to the mutts when maybe I should have focused more on her mother. I’ll ask Jasiel to do some digging for me when he gets back. I think it’s time we find out more about her mother’s childhood.

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