Page 48 of Kept By the Bratva

I want to be with a man who loves me, desires me, and cherishes me. A man whochoosesme.Not a man who was forced to keep me close and safe to the point of imprisonment.

I lowered my hand to my stomach again, reminded that I had to change my perspective. I wasn’t making choices for just myself. I was a package deal.

Is that why he’s so against anything more with me?

He’d been ambivalent since he learned that I was pregnant. He kissed me without heat, without anything more than polite concern. He’d slept on the couch, away from me. He hadn’t wanted me to nurse him or help him with his wounds.

Avoidance. He was ignoring me, and the biggest change was my revelation that I was pregnant.

He was the father, but I was too skittish to tell him that now. I felt guilty for not coming clean about that detail last night. I wanted to get it all out, to tell them all that I’d lied about anyone raping me. It had been on the tip of my tongue to reveal that Nik was the father of the new life inside me.

But it hadn’t been the right moment. I’d been rocked and stunned with the news that Diego was hellbent on claiming me, that men were paying money to “keep” me like a goddamn possession.

Right now, alone here with Nik, I had an opportune moment to tell him the truth, but I didn’t. Fear held me back. I’d been so scared to tell Mila that I was pregnant at all, and without knowing that Nik loved me—or could find it in his heart to love me beyond any sense of obligation—I was terrified to add another layer of complications to this already messy web. He would only be madder that I kept the factthat he was the father a secret even longer. And he’d be furious that I’d resorted to a quick lie to Mila. I was in so deep already, I would only make things worse by coming clean.

But the longer I don’t tell him, the worse it will be yet.

I cringed, not knowing what to do and hating that I couldn’t trust my gut instinct around him when my heart beat so strongly for a morsel of his love.

He exhaled a long breath and turned away, leaving me without another word.

The locks weren’t engaged, but I knew that meant nothing at all.

I was stuck here, with him, and no matter how badly I wished things could be different, I knew that I couldn’t even make him fall in love with me half as much as I already had for him.

19

NIKOLAI

Icouldn’t stand there and take that lashing. Amy wasn’t cruel with her words. She didn’t scream and shout or toss out ultimatums like a sassy bitch. That calm, measured reasoning showed me how much she’d thought this all out.

At the conclusion of her view and her opinions, she wanted one thing.

Any possible life without me in it.

Leaving her locked in my personal wing was getting old. She wouldn’t be allowed out of the house. Not any damn time soon. She could leave my room if she wanted and explore, within reason. But I couldn’t linger there.

Every minute I was within her presence, I warred with the constant need to hold, taste, and fuck her hard. Her sweet body called to me. Her melodic yet firm voice beckoned me to embrace her and get her to smile or laugh again.

I didn’t. I couldn’t approach her when she was so determined to strategize how to get away from me despite the very real and present dangers upon her life outside this building.

Leaving the mansion wasn’t a better alternative, so I sought refuge in the gym Alek had renovated and added to once Pavel and Andrey were eliminated. Down here, we brothers could work out in privacy. Our soldiers and other men had ample exercise and training spaces to work out in, and it was required that they stay in prime fitness in the name of duty to the family.

Here, I found all four of them. Ivan and Maxim were finishing with their reps, wiping sweat from their brows and resetting the weights on the racks. Alek was still going hard on a machine. Dmitri sat on a bench, no doubt too injured from the beating the Cartel gave him to want to expend himself with exercise too soon.

Rest was my motive, too, and I sighed heavily as I sat next to him.

“Just the man I want to speak with,” Alek said once he finished and lowered the bar back to its setting.

I faced him blankly, knowing he couldn’t be done with letting me hear it. “How bad is it?” I knew he had to have more information by now. A whole night had passed. If Diego was this unhinged to get Amy back, then he wouldn’t sit still.

“He’s a sick fucker,” Maxim said. “I had our hacker look into him.” He shook his head, wincing. “Diego Martinez is one nasty player.”

“Like what?”

“Sadist. Mutilates his whores. Shares them. Impregnates them but forces them to abort.” He sighed and wiped his face once more. “And he’s got a thing for blondes. The younger, the better, but no one underage.Onlyblondes.”

“Fuck.” I ran my hand through my hair. He’d force Amy to abort her baby. Even though it was the product of rape, she shouldn’t be forced to do that. It should beherchoice only.