Page 147 of Forget
“How kind of you,” I giggle. It says something that when the talk of torture it doesn’t even faze me. Do I want to see it? No, but I can talk about it with Shaw, Ambrose, or Everest without an issue. “No, I need hormone suppressants, Shaw. Something that will dim my heat specifically.”
“Aisling,”Shaw curses, while I roll my eyes.
“I refuse to fuck them,” I growl. “My heats are so intense, I’ve spent a year under sedation, so you really think that I would ask if I had a pack in my back pocket?”
“Aye, I know,”he says. “I fucking hate these drugs, Aisling. I understand there’s a use for it, but it feels wrong.”
“Because I’m telling biology to fuck itself?” I ask.
“No, because I don’t know the long term effects of them. They’re not meant to be used forever,”he says.
“I know that,” I sigh. “I just need a little more time.”
Realizing how I sound, I shake my head. “I’m not an addict. I refuse to have sex with men who don’t respect me.”
“I think they’re idiots, for what it’s worth,”he says. I can hear snow crunching under his boots, and I imagine himwalking outside. “There’s a drug we’re selling that’s short term for heats. You can’t use it more than three times in a year, Aisling. It’s powerful, but doesn’t mean you’ll skip your heat entirely.”
“I understand,” I say with a nod. There’s a ton of sex toys in my nest, and I’ll callThe Naughty Totestore ownersto ask if the option to product test is still open. They offered when we first started working together, but I wasn’t sure if I would be willing to use toys again after they’d been stolen by Aiden.
“I’ll swing by the outreach side ofOmega’s Haventoday. I know the score about not coming to the door. I’lltext you to come out,” he grunts. “While I don’t like this, you shouldn’t be forced into doing something you don’t want to. But Aisling?”
“Yeah?” I whisper, breathless as I wait for his next words. Shaw could say or ask for anything right now and I’d agree to it.
“Sometimes, as alphas, we fuck up big time,”he says. “They need you, crave you, and are wired differently than normal men. They suck at life, but I think they’re getting a first hand view of what you’re about as your shadows. Don’t give up on them too early, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” I promise, the back of my eyes feeling warm. More tears, ugh.
Hanging up with Shaw, I press the heels of my hands into my eyes as I breathe. I can do this. I’m halfway through the day, and no major catastrophes have occurred. I’m good.
Lifting my head, I dry my face of the suspicious liquid on it, take a deep sip of water, and get back to work.
I’m running on borrowed time now, and need to finish my tasks.
I feel reallywarm when I wake up two days later. I started taking the pills immediately after Shaw brought them to me, and hid the rest away. They’re six blue pills, and I've been taking them every eight hours, just like Shaw told me to.
Grabbing the last pill, I whisper a little prayer and swallow it down with some water.
Please work.
For all I know, I could be immune, or it could do some really fucked up shit to my body. I’m desperate right now, so I would be happy with an outcome in the middle.
Get it together, babe.
Blowing out a breath, I swing my feet off the bed onto the ground. I need to tellOmega’s Haventhat I’m not going in today, because I need to clean, vacuum, and fix my nest. I won’t tell them any of that though, simply sending a text with the fewest words possible.
Me:
Hey, Hazel. Can you let everyone know that I’m going to be working from home today, please?
Hazel:
Got it. I’m here, I’ll run up to the Outreach and let them know as well when they come in.
My lips twitchat her response. Ever since Wren and I spoke to Hazel, she’s stepped up her game at work. Her mom is sick, which is why she was missing so much work.
I completely understand, and asked her to let us know if she needed us to hire someone part time to help out as needed. I don’t want her to ever feel as if she has to choose between work and her mother.
Hazel said that the hospital stays should be over for now, but she would let us know if something changes.