Page 17 of Meeting Her Mate
But this did not grant me any satisfaction. Had I not been here, had I not stepped up and taken charge, this would have been the end of the pack. Even now, as we were on the cusp of victory, I could see the fighting style of the wolves and was sorely disappointed. They had not been trained in the art of fighting, of battle. They were haphazard in their offense and clumsy in their defense.
I picked up one of the rifles, smattered across the floor, and shot a burst into the air. Upon seeing this, the vampires who had remained hissed miserably and began retreating.
The wolves chased them through the field, biting at their heels and clawing at their cloaks. I watched as the last of the vampires fled in the direction of Fiddler’s Cove. There would come a time, I thought to myself, when we’d go after them and fight them on their turf and drive them out once and for all, but it would not be right now. Right now, my pack was not ready for a confrontation of that nature. They had barely stood their ground during this fight.
It was not my lack of strength but that of my pack that made me feel inadequate. Their power had waned enough to make the vampires bold enough to attack our commune. Things were not as I had left them seventy-six years ago.
As the wolves started returning to the commune, shifting into their human forms, I wondered what Maurice had been doing with them. Had he not trained them at all? It was always the job of the alpha to teach the wolves the craft of battle, to strengthen them in both body and mind. And speaking of Maurice, where had he run off to? His behavior befitted that of a traitor, making me think that perhaps he was in cahoots with the vampires. Why else would he suggest fleeing? Why else would he flee instead of defending his home?
I headed inside the commune, back to where the bonfire was roaring, and awaited the return of my pack. When the last of them had poured in and had surrounded me, I finally spoke.
“This was a chance victory, nothing more. It could just as easily have been defeat. Not one of you was prepared for battle. Had I not interceded, had you let Maurice command you, you would have all run, you would have all let this place go to the vampires. The course of your life up till now has made you seem like a weak opponent in the eyes of your enemies. Those vampires would have never attacked you had they known that the Grimm pack was not one to be trifled with. I implore you all to see reason. To understand that the strength of the pack lies in their ability to fight together as a team to defend each other. Out there on the battlefield, I saw barely any teamwork. There was no order to your fighting. You are not trained as I had expected you to be trained,” I said, my ears growing hotter with each word, my voice raising gradually.
“Will you lead us, then?” a voice rose from the crowd around me.
“I would take the mantle of alpha as it once belonged to me and swear to every one of you that I shall strive to strengthen you into the formidable werewolves that I know you can be. The world shall know before long that the Grimms are fierce wolves. Tonight, we defended ourselves. That’s a start. But we have an uphill climb to go from here. I believe it is fate that has brought me back to my kin, and I believe that fate has a plan for each one of us,” I said.
“Hear, hear, then!” A voice rose from the crowd. “To Wilhelm Grimm, the new alpha of the pack!”
There was immense silence for a brief moment, followed by an uproar of affirmations and chants of “Yes!” and “Aye!” that rang through the night.
As I was climbing down from the footstool, Alexis approached me from the crowd. Even though she hadn’t spoken to me yet, I already anticipated a talk coming. However, I was not in a mental state to have the kind of talk that she wanted to have.
“Can I have a word?” Alexis asked.
There it was again, that sick, alien impulse that gripped me every time Alexis was near me. This sadistic urge to inflict emotional damage on her for being who she was. I tried to hold it back, to appear peaceful, but the longer she stayed around me, the harder it got for me to hold my violent impulse back.
“What do you want?” I asked in a stony voice.
“I just wanted to clear the air between us,” she said, holding her hands together defensively. There was optimism in her eyes. Her expressions were sincere in their intensity.
The women and children were coming out of the barn and integrating with the rest of the pack. The wives were tending to their injured husbands, the kids were hugging their fathers, and the rest just stood there as the men informed them that I had been made alpha. The entire pack was here.
“There’s nothing to clear,” I replied, trying to keep the curtness out of my tone, but it was a futile effort. Her lingering presence was a constant reminder of my loss.
“We are bonded together, Wilhelm. Does that mean nothing to you? I wasn’t expecting it either, but ever since we’ve bonded, it has meant something to me. I feel something in my heart for you. Call it care, devotion, adoration, the bond at work, or whatever else you will, but there’s something between us, and I want you to acknowledge it. Also, while we’re on the subject of acknowledgments, I want you to acknowledge that you’ve been harsh to me on multiple occasions. I did not deserve it,” she said.
“Do not talk to me of deserving. I did not deserve to be imprisoned, experimented upon, tortured, and set free when all I had known was lost. I did not deserve to waste away in prison while the woman that I loved married someone else, birthed a child, and then died. There’s no turning the clocks back. What’s lost is lost!” The rage I had kept under control was erupting and taking control of me. My voice was raised enough to draw the attention of everyone around me.
“But…” Alexis pleaded.
“I do not question the intricate pattern of fate except in this case,” I said, my voice almost a scream. “It is a mistake that we are bonded together. It is a lie—a mirage. I do not accept this bond. I do not recognize you as my mate. I reject the existence of the tether that you think ties us!” With each word I inflicted irreparable emotional damage, I felt the surge of a sick pleasure within me. Sick because, in my heart, I could feel the pain that she was feeling. Pleasure because, as depraved as it was, another part of me reveled in hurting her.
The pack was completely silent except for a few faint whisperings in the back, no doubt discussing what was happening in front of their eyes.
“There is no love that exists between us. As far as I am concerned, nothing does. So don’t try to reason with me or appeal to my better nature!” This was the final thing I yelled at her before she ran away, whimpering, covering her eyes with her forearm.
Was this me? Was this cruel, deviated trait an integral part of my personality now? Is this what Edward Beckett meant when he uttered his dying words? That I won’t ever truly be free after what he had done to me? Had he mutated my psyche with his experiments?
I cared not for these questions except for the fact that they resounded in some small part of my mind, a minute chamber somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain that felt that I had been brutal to Alexis. Or perhaps it was deep within my heart that I felt bad for behaving with her this way.
What other choice did I have? The girl sought no propriety, did not take into account the tumultuous ordeals I had been through, and was not able to conceive that I was thrust into the role of leadership of a pack that had grown weak as a result of a soft alpha. All she wanted from me was to reciprocate whatever she was feeling, accept her as my mate, and God knows what else.
How was I to even take her as my mate when I barely felt adequate to lead a lost pack in the face of grave dangers surrounding us from all sides? How was I supposed to just get over the death of Ariana, which I had just found out not more than a day ago? Did I not deserve time to grieve? Time to adjust?
I made no effort to go after her nor gave any order to the pack to stop her in her tracks. If she wanted to leave, so be it. I was done with her anyway.
“From tomorrow,” I said, returning my attention to the stunned crowd. “All able-bodied Grimms, whether man, child, or woman, will assemble in the training grounds. That’s an order. You need to prepare for the threats that you face.”