Page 22 of Hey Girl
“What?” I blink casually back at him.
“Mate! What have you been snorting?”
“You know I don’t do drugs.”
“Then explain to me why in the bloody fuck you’re cradling a raw chicken?”
“It’s not a raw chicken, it’s a cat. A sphinx to be exact,” I inform him in an all-knowing tone of disdain.
“That is a raw chicken,” he insists. “Go baste it in garlic butter and then we’ll get back to - ”
“It’s a fucking cat, dude. Or have you been wankin’ so much that your eyes have gone daft?” I love fucking around with his accent. I hold Iggy closer to the camera. “See? Kittycat.”
“A hairless fucking cat,” he deadpans. “Again, what the fuck are you doing with it?”
“He’s Rebecca’s. I’m showing her how responsible I can be by taking care of him while she’s passed out.” I shrug like it’s no big thing.
“The girl you’ve been emotionally perishing over? She’s passed out? Is she alright?” he shoots off the questions with rapid fire and his bushy eyebrows pulled together in concern.
“She’s okay. She just had a reaction to my hippy witch mother’s herbal tea..”
“Well props for looking after her raw chicken while she’s under the weather,” he raises his scarred eyebrow sarcastically.
“For the last time, shithead, he’s not a chicken!” I defend my new buddy. “He’s a very good boy! We’ve been bro-ing down hard, haven’t we?” I look down at Iggy, purring in my lap like we really are bros.
“Unbelievable. You’ve hit a real low point, Keith Moon. Do you know what an asshole you look like, cradling uncooked meat like it’s your firstborn? Not to mention you seem to have no problem telling it how you feel like you should be doing with your lady friend,” he chides.
Oh. It’s on.
“Speaking of…” I gear up to toss a heat-seeking missile of truth at him. “What does a certain redhead think of your feelings for her, hypocritical asshat?”
“Hey. Watch yourself mate,” he snarks, giving me his no-nonsense look that’s supposed to be so intimidating. He’s forgetting that after that music festival we were at a while back that ended up with me waking up the next morning in one of those inflatable dinosaur costumes and him in a sumo suit and both of us pelted with paintball splatters, so I’m not afraid of him.
“Oh wait! She’s still fucking clueless as ever because you’re too much of a pansy ass chickenshit motherfucker whose dick is probably going to get the courage to let her know before he does!”
He snorts. “Fuck you, meat botherer.”
“Blow me.”
“You wish.” One side of his mouth lifts in a grin. “Gotta run, take care.”
“See ya.”
Rebecca
One eyelid reluctantly peels open,and then the other.
I feel like I’ve been asleep for a century and my mouth feels like the Mojave desert.
Other than that, I feel pretty damn refreshed.
I’m given an unexpected adrenaline boost, however, when I sit up and realize I can’t remember how in the hell I ended up in my bedroom.
I whip my head around in every direction as if the walls will tell me how I got in here because the last thing I remember is waving an amethyst - that I’m oddly still clutching in my hand - in Chris’s beautiful face and ohhh…
He brought me in here. That’s the only explanation.
God in Heaven! I was in a man’s arms! A hot one! That plays drums in a rock band! And I wasn’t even awake for it!