Page 59 of See Her
“Jack, it will be so hard with me there.”
“It will be harder without you,” I shoot back, not missing a beat, making her close her eyes on a scoff.
“Jack, you can’t do that.” She pushes away and turns to put a few feet between us.
“What?” I return, exasperated.
“It’s just not that simple,” she whips back around. “You can’t just say a few sweet words and expect me to get on board with what you want.”
“Funny,” I say, rolling my eyes cynically, “I thought being together was something we both wanted.”
Her mouth falls open as my chest rises in a sharp breath, and I know I’ve fucked up.
“That,”I hold my hand up before she loses her shit all over me, “was immature, and I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” I rush all the words out while trying to sound as sincere as possible. Tonight would not be a good one for me to spend on the couch.
Mayzie stares back, pressing her lips together as she’s hopefully turning my apology over in her mind.
“I just… want us to make sure we think about what’s best for us in the long run instead of what would just make us happy in the moment.”
I drop my head, not wanting to hear this. I know I’m being selfish, and the shitty thing about it is I don’t even care.
Mayzie’s being the sensible one by wanting to think things through, to make sure being in this environment together will help us not hurt us in this delicate first stage of our marriage, while I just know what I want – and that’s her with me on tour.
28
MAYZIE
I’ve never journaled before. I never saw the point in writing about all the things I already know just to keep them for myself. But I’ve been carrying around so much confusion this afternoon and it’s begun some furious inner tango with my emotions, leading them in different directions. I didn’t know what to do about our new, exciting – but complicated – situation, and finally, I opened my laptop, hoping to maybe clear my head.
Spoiler alert – it hasn’t helped me figure anything out, but I’m amazed at how much I’ve written; how many words have been derived from my feelings.
“What can I do,” Jack asks against my cheek, “to get that smile I love back?”
His voice is low and raspy, carrying a certain yearning. The beginnings of his five ‘o’clock shadow brushes against my skin in the most delicious way that brings me both arousal and comfort, yet that nagging sense of complacency that’s been slowly creeping under my skin the last few days still persistently gnaws at me.
“I’m processing, Jack,” I gently remind him, closing my laptop.
“I know, baby,” he grumbles in my ear. “But it doesn’t make it easier for me to see my bride unhappy.”
“My husband just became a touring musician… how can I be unhappy?”
“I may not have known you long, but I know you well…” He kisses the spot where my jaw meets my neck. “I know you deep… and I love you hard.” He punctuates the last word with a contradictory soft kiss on my cheek before straightening up and walking over to the sink.
I sit for a moment and watch him as he pulls out his shaving supplies. I know I can’t fool him, and I’m not trying to. I just don’t want to have the conversation that would put more on his plate. His dreams are finally coming true, the ones he’s had since long before I came into his life. I won’t be the one to jade them by pouting.
Getting up, I walk over to where he stands at the sink and wrap my arms around his body from behind, pressing my face into his back. I allow the closeness and his leathery scent to remind me why I came here – to be with him.
I immediately feel movement and look up to see Jack’s arms moving and a glimpse of our reflection in the mirror shows me he’s unbuttoning his shirt. Swiftly turning in my arms, he shrugs out of the garment one tatted shoulder at a time, and before I know it, my face is in his hands and his mouth is owning mine.
Jack doesn’t break our urgent connection as he starts stepping backwards in the direction of the bed, and I follow as if he is my lifeline and I’m drawing energy from his kiss. When his legs meet the bed, Jack unfastens his jeans and pulls them down, along with his briefs, before taking a seat and pulling me down on top of him.
Calloused fingers, rough from so many years of playing guitar, deftly grope the skin beneath his own black t-shirt that cloaks my body while his hard cock teases at the thin material of my panties. Wasting no time or words, he pulls them to the side and puts it between my legs, letting it nudge and slide against my clit a few times. I slide slowly down on his wide length, reveling in the ache it brings.
“Jack…” his name comes out on a gasp when he’s completely inside me.
“Wife,” he murmurs back, following up the word with a groan before attacking my lips with his once again. Gripping onto my hips, he rolls and rocks me against him, taking my breath away and giving it back with each pass.
The spark inside me catches fire, blazing from my core through the rest of my body. “Ohhh…” I utter the involuntary sound as I come down on him again. His arms encircle and hold onto me tightly, like he’s afraid I might float away. I respond in kind, locking my arms around his neck.