Page 67 of See Her

Jack

“Quit actinglike a fucking adolescent and tell me what the fuck happened, Josh,” I prod again from my seat in the bus lounge.

To my bitter disappointment, Josh actually stands and paces a few times before turning to face me. He lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes like he’s the one that’s been done an injustice here.You can imagine it’s making my temper set off nuclear alarms inside me as I try to hold it together, waiting for answers.

“Jack,” he rubs lazily at the back of his neck before lifting his head to regard me with narrowed eyes. “Let’s not do this. Let’s just focus on getting back to–”

“No!” I cut him off. “We’re not going to get back to anything. We’re not going to do anything that little ol’ you wants until you make this right, and you start by telling me what exactly happened between you and my wife. What the fuck did she do to you that was so bad?”

“Jack,” he blows out with a raise of his voice. He drops his head back before looking back at me, like he doesn’t even know how to word what he wants to say. “You met a girl and fell in love, good for you.” He waves a hand dismissively as he looks at the floor. “But you barely know each other, and you’re going around acting like because you signed some piece of paper, she has the right to be here and take focus away from the band that’s finally getting its shot.”

My blood turns to lava before hardening in my veins, and I feel my legs slowly straightening, pushing me up to his eye level. Josh actually has the decency to look like he’s taking me seriously now as he swallows, holding my gaze.

“You said that to her?” I ask for clarification as I take a step closer.

He draws in a breath, the space between his brows unfurrowing. “Yes… among other things.” His voice shakes slightly, and I’m clear out of patience.

Grabbing ahold of him by his shirt and swinging his weight to the side, I slam him against the wall next to the flat screen.

They say actions speak louder than words, and this fucker seemsto be having a lot of trouble hearing me. By the shocked look on his flushed face and how he’s scrambling to grab hold of my arms to shove me off him, I’d say I have his attention now.

“So you’re telling me you said more to her? Other than telling her that her marriage to me is some kind of sham?” I growl loudly in his face.

“It was just words, Jack!” he frantically defends, still trying to push me off him, but my frame is a bit wirier than his. “I’m pissed off atyoufor being too preoccupied with her to really give this chance your all, and I took it out on her,” he grunts out in a panic. “She got in my way, it set me off, and I spouted a few things I didn’t mean out of my ass,” he admits, as he finally drops his arms, no longer resisting my pin on him.

“So what I’m hearing,” I lower my voice to a menacing tone, “is that you threw some fucking bullshit garbage claims and insults at her while she stood there in a towel,” I cock my head at him, seething before I continue,“all because I brought a girl into your fucking clubhouse?”

He closes his eyes and a gust of breath blows out his nose as he addresses the floor. “You know damn well that’s not what I just said, you’re oversimplifying–”

“What the fuck did you say to her?!” I repeat, raising my voice another couple octaves as I slam my hand into the wall next to him. “You know what’s fucking simple? The fact that you had no problem spewing your bullshit at her but you can’t to me! You know damn well what that makes you!” I release him with a shove and I back off a couple of steps before my fist gets involved. Hands on my hips, I clench my jaw through another wave of anger before looking back to Josh when it passes.

He’s looking at the floor, his eyes showing the depth of thought he’s fallen into before he speaks. “I pointed out that you guys got married pretty quick after Ron found us,” he finally confesses, and I stop in my tracks, whipping around to face him again.

“So you basically called her a gold digger,” I state rather than ask, as I advance on him again.

“I didn’t mean it, Jack,” he breathes out, penitently, holding a hand up in plea. “She’s new to me, and I don’t trust easily…”

“I’m not interested in your excuses right now, so shut the fuck up!” I snap out as I round back on him. “And listen up real good while I tell you exactly how much shit you don’t know. Do you want to know how many times she brought up marriage before we eloped? Go ahead, asshole, guess,” I say, my voice rising slightly.His face still shows guilt as he shakes his head again. “Zero. She never brought up getting married.She was happy just being with me, but I wasn’t. I wanted more, and I couldn’t wait another minute.”

I notice his body tense at the knowledge I just dropped on him, and he draws in a quiet breath as he scrubs a hand over his face. I, on the other hand, don’t move; afraid if I do, I’ll explode. I stay planted and pull in another deep breath, willing it to keep me in control.

“And thenshewanted to sit out the tour from the very beginning,” I add. “She thought my focus should be completely on you guys and the music, that this should be just our adventure. But because I love her so fucking much and can’t stand the thought of being away from her, I talked her into coming anyway,” I huff out, exhaustion beginning to overtake the anger.

I can see the change on Josh’s face as that sinks in. “I wanted to have my cake, eat it too, and have everybody be okay with it,” I say, holding my arms out, admitting my fault in this. “She’s been trying to hang in there with all this too, but you just had to go and give her that last little nudge, didn’t you?Now here I am, a newlywed, and my wife is nowhere in sight. Thanks, man; way to have your band mate’s back.”

I’m throwing jabs now, which makes me no better than him. As much as I’d love to keep going with it anyway, that’s not going to get Mayzie’s plane to turn around.

“I’m sorry,” Josh finally speaks up, quietly. For the first time in this conversation, he actually sounds sincere. “Jack, man… I was just frustrated. This whole thing has been like the twilight zone, and it’s been all I can do to keep up. I was already keyed up with that interview coming out of nowhere, and when she got in my way, I just… unloaded on her.”

I nod at his admission, trying to get my own self under control. “Did it even occur to you,” I look up at him, thoughtfully, “that my writing got better, when she came along?”

He doesn’t answer, but drops his eyes as he processes that concept.

“I hadn’t written anything in forever because I hadn’t beenfeelinganything. She changed that.” I blow out a stress-riddled breath and close my eyes.

I’m done; for the moment, anyway. It’s time to settle down and get my head straight, otherwise what Mayzie did for this band will be for nothing. Time to shift my focus to blowing away the rest of this tour and getting home to my girl.

As I take a few steps in the direction of the bunks, another thought hits me and I turn slightly to look back. “And for all we know… it could have been her part in that video that made people connect with the song. Maybe she’s what made them love it. Just something to think about,” I finish in a tired mumble as I continue on to my bunk. I lay down, draw the curtain, and throw my arm over my eyes, already missing my baby being crammed in here with me. And, just because the universe seems to think I need just one more punch to the junk, my hand comes in contact with something on the sheet. It’s one of Mayzie’s hair ties.This seriously sucks.