Page 87 of Reckless Woman
“You better. This shit’s costing me a fortune.”
The details of what happened to me are sparse and he’s reluctant to share. All I know is that the hit was ordered by the same people Viviana works for, and that one of them, Benni Morozov, is now dead. The significance of this has yet to be explained, but I get the impression that his murder was partly in retaliation for me. He would have died a horrible death because of it, either at the hands of Santiago, Joseph or Rick. Hell, maybe it was a triple hit…
I don’t feel bad about it, though. He was a human trafficker—one of the worst. My moral compass never works so well around bastards like them.
“Joseph?”
“Hmmm.”
“The operation I had…” His cleaning attempts slow to zero. “No one seems to want to tell me—ouch.” I wince as I try to sit up again.
“Here, let me help you.” The pillows behind my head get rearranged and shoved back behind me. “You had four bullets removed from your chest and stomach,Luna. The most I’ve had at once is three.” He leans down to kiss my forehead. “Don’t go getting an ego about it.”
I force a smile. “I still feel like everyone has an invite to Jessie’s party except me again.”
He frowns. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Am I going to have any side-effects, or….?” I trail off, losing courage.
He blows out a breath and pulls up a chair next to the bed. Something in his expression makes me pause. Since his favorite mask shattered on a sidewalk in Miami, it’s been harder and harder for him to hide his emotions from me.
He looks guarded.Reluctant—
“Anna, you were pregnant.”
His words hit me out of nowhere. It feels like someone shot me again.
“W-what?” I whisper.
“You were pregnant, sweetheart.” He takes my hand, slipping his fingers through mine, trapping our wedding rings together, like he’s anticipating that this news is going to make me pull away again. “Five weeks. I’m sorry. They couldn’t save…” He trails off when he sees my face.
Tears fill my eyes for a baby I never even knew existed. Somehow, the level of grief I’m feeling doesn’t seem justifiable.How can you mourn a life that never really lived with you?But it’s there anyway. Worming a hole inside my heart.
“Would you have let me keep it?” I say quietly. Gray-blues narrow as my fingers slip from his hand. “It would have been my decision,” I add roughly. “But would you have made it difficult for me? Would you have made me choose all over again?”
He tips his head back and sighs. “I don’t waste time and energy on hypothetical situations, Anna. You know me better than that.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
“I can’t give you that answer.”
“What if I fall pregnant again in the future?” I say, my voice sounding weak and distant. “I’d rather you just prepared me for it. I’ll tell you what, why don’t we abstain from sex altogether? That way, they’ll be a complete absence of choice.”
I’m being emotional and irrational, and a ton of other negative words that end in “nal”. This isn’t his fault. It’s not like he told the hitman to aim for my stomach to kill the one thing threatening our marriage.
“It’s not an issue we’re going to have to face again,” he says slowly.
I glance sideways at him. He’s trying hard to conceal it, but there are flashes of pain moving behind his eyes.
“You don’t know that,” I argue. “Unless you’re buying into the whole abstinence thing. Sex makes babies. Lesson over.”
“Yes,I do.” He tries to take my hand again, but I move it away. There’s too much conviction in his voice.
Secrets. Secrets.
And then I know.
I don’t want to know.