Page 92 of Relentless Sinner

“Later next week. Then it’s the wedding.”

“I think the best thing you can do now is make the best of the situation. I hate telling you that. But I don’t know what else to say.” Cora gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “All we can do is hope things work out. Somehow.”

I guess if I were her I’d say the same thing.

Basically make the best of a bad situation.

That is all I can do.

It’s my wedding day.

The day has finally arrived and I survived the last few agonizing days of feeling like Alice in Wonderland with no way out.

I’m in the bridal dressing room at Oheka Castle, one of the most prestigious wedding venues in New York where people have to wait years just to get on the waiting list. Like everything else in Jaxon Bortsov’s world it looks magical and like something plucked from a fairytale.

I’ve been told that my three hundred guests have arrived and my groom has been here for about two hours.

I lift one trembling hand to my cheek and stare at myself in the full-length gold-rimmed mirror, taking in the way I look.

The stylist and makeup artists who’ve been working on me for the last hour made me look like a princess. My hair is in a half-up, half-down style with loose waves trailing down my back, and my makeup has been beautifully done to make my skin look like the brides you see in a magazine.

My hair and makeup are both stunning and the best they’ve looked in my life, but the most outstanding thing on me is my wedding dress.

It fit me beautifully weeks ago, but with a few adjustments the seamstress made it looks like it was made for me. How fitting that it should be perfect for my wedding day.

I shouldn’t call today D-day but it feels like it. That shadow in my mind turned into a dark cloud the moment I woke this morning. It’s been trying to swallow my soul since.

I know Jaxon returned from Italy two days ago, but I haven’t seen him. He hasn’t been home. All he did was give Eve a list of instructions for me.

I doubt he, of all people, would worry about being traditional and old wives’ talesy about not seeing the bride before the big day.

Luck is always on his side. It’s me who has to worry about bad luck and other unfortunate shit like that.

I guess I should be grateful I made it this far. In my world that in itself is an accomplishment. I also haven’t been treated entirely like a prisoner. I got my phone and laptop back a few days ago and Cora has been by the house to see me nearly every day. Today is the first since my attempt to escape that I’ve been away from the manor.

However, it still feels like another cage. I don’t know what my story will look like after today; I never planned for this far. In my mind I never made it to today.

The only thing I know is happening is the wedding. We’re not even going on a honeymoon until weeks from now and even then, we’ll just be going to the Hamptons for a short break. That’s the extent of my knowledge.

I have no plans of my own for my career, so I feel like I’ve hit a wall and I’m still disappointed with life.

Weeks ago I was trying to summon all the positive thoughts in the world that might help me believe I could get myself out of this mess. Now the mess feels like a ball of confusion living in my soul.

So much has happened in so little time, yet it’s like several lifetimes have passed in just three weeks.

There’s so much to worry about. Big things as well as the small things that have snuck up on me.

Small things like getting married without my sister being here.

In the grand scheme of things it’s petty to even acknowledge that because I worry constantly about whether she and Alessandro are safe. To stop myself from going insane I’ve had to trust that Jaxon will keep my secret. I’ve told myself that if Dad had found Natasha I’d know about it. Someone, like Cora, would tell me.

When I got my phone back I wanted to call Jaxon and talk to him about it. I only stopped myself because I didn’t want to risk something more happening by talking about secrets on the phone.

It would be just my luck for Dad to find a way to bug my calls. Then there would be hell to pay when he discovered I was lying.

A little knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. The door opens and Eve walks in.

“They’re ready. Are you?” she asks, giving me a warm smile.