Page 10 of Be My Sacrifice
Heranguishedblue-grayeyespenetrate straight through to my soul, as I plunge the blade into her stomach and feel her warm blood coat my fingers. My hands tremble as my breath becomes strangled in my throat, choking the life out of me, just like I am taking hers in this moment. I can’t save her, or even acknowledge her words that beg me to save the other two. My heart breaks, knowing I’m the villain who snuffs out her life.
A life for a life, my mind reminds me.
In this case, hers prevents the loss of two lives. Even as I try to reason with myself, I know that it will never be enough. What I have done here is not only betray my Snow, but everything and everyone I’ve ever cared about. I’ve become everything I have ever loathed. I’m now my father’s puppet. A worm on a hook, ready to be used. I should have died with her. I should have allowed him to take my life, because it’s worthless now, anyway.Gabriel is gone. Dinah is about to die at my hands. Abe will want nothing to do with me after this. Everyone I have ever loved will have left me. I was never worthy of any of their love.
There will never be any coming back from this sin, and there will be no forgiveness for my deed. I have damned myself right along with her, and when she is gone from this earth, like a star that shone too brightly in the sky, and perished into the dark, deep sea, I will still be confined to this hell with her blood on my hands, and my regrets swallowing me whole.
Murderer. Traitor. Forsaker.
“I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU, ZEKE! YOU’RE DEAD, YOU HEAR ME, DEAD!” Abe’s raging voice breaks through my thoughts as I stumble backward, breaking the malignant spell I’m under. Blood trickles from Dinah’s lips, and as I watch her sad eyes finally close as she succumbs to darkness for the last time, her body falls sideways onto the glass-littered floor with a sound that will forever haunt me.NO! What the fuck have I done? No, I will take it back. I need her. I can’t lose her. Not like this, please, not like this. Dinah, fuck, Dinah, please be alive, please!
I immediately reach for her, but before I can lift her into my traitorous embrace, a large boom wracks the house, followed by an explosion, and vast volumes of thick smoke penetrate the room, coating all the inhabitants in its thick fog. It obscures my vision, preventing me from seeing my hand in front of my face, but my ears catch the stomping of more boots entering the room and the screams of men dying.
Oh my god, what the fuck is happening? Who is here and attacking us now? Are they friends or foes? I have to get to Dinah and Abe. I have to try to save Sammy, too. My hands are coated with her blood, the sensation of their wetness repulsing me and making my skin crawl. I wipe them on my legs, trying desperately to get it off.Murder, betrayer, traitor,my mind screams endlessly.
The word‘rebels’catches my ears, and for a moment, I feel a sense of relief. Maybe I will die today after all. Perhaps they will end my life and my misery, the life that I no longer wish to live now that she is gone.My Snow. The one woman I have always wanted, dreamed of having, destroyed by my own murderous hand.
Movement close to me has me finally paying attention to the destruction happening around me. I hear my father shout for his men to fight off the new intruders. The grunt of men clashing together is almost deafening. “DINAH!” I hear her name uttered with desperation. I catch a glimpse within the fog of someone lifting her prone body, her long, dark hair dragging along the floor as she’s thrown over a shoulder, and they storm out of the room with her.
NO! What the fuck! I can’t let them take her. I need to lay her to rest with her brother and mother. She would want to be with them. It’s the only amends I can make to all of them. I need to get to her.
I scramble to my feet, my leg buckling slightly with the deep cut the guard made. I can feel wetness coating it, and realize that I have been slowly losing blood this whole time. My head spins, and my vision dims, but I force myself to stand, bear weight, and move towards where I can hear Abe shouting. I need to get to him and get us out of here while my father is distracted.
What about Sammy,my mind questions. I veer in the direction that I last saw him fighting my father’s guards. I have to save him too. I can’t let anyone else that Dinah loved die at the hands of the Brotherhood. Sammy is closer to my current position. I will help release him first, and then maybe if he doesn’t automatically kill me with his bare hands, we can save Abe together.
Together.There will never be an us again. My actions have assured that Sammy will try to kill me at the first opportunity, and I can’t even blame him. If the roles were reversed, I would do the same in an instant. My only hope is that we can release Abe first, and then I will gladly go to my death at his hands. I killed her. I killed the woman he loves.I am a murderer and a betrayer. I am scum, just like my father.
I slam my weary body against the first guard still surrounding Sammy. I can hear him struggling; his movements become slower and more sluggish with all the beatings he has taken, plus the reality that he just watched me murder the love of his life. A fist flies against my cheek, forcing my head to the side and my mouth to fill with the taste of blood. The coppery flavor reminds me that I’m still alive, and that although there is no redemption for me, I can at least try to save Sammy and Abe from the same fate as my precious Snow.I have to save them for her. I have to somehow redeem myself.
I fight hard, with everything I have, taking on the men that Sammy is still struggling against. More men join the fray, these ones in darker clothing, and they, too, fight against my father’s henchmen. The rebels try their best to reduce the number of Brotherhood guards standing, but my father’s men outnumber them.There are too many, even with them helping, I have to get Sammy free and get to Abe. I have to save Abe.
“Retreat! Retreat, we have the heir!” A shout blares out across the room, and just like that, men rush towards the door to escape. The words play again through my mind, and I realize that they mean Dinah; they have Dinah’s dead body. My eyes search through the waning fog for Abe, but I don’t catch sight of his sizable tattooed body.FUCK! They took him too! NO! No, I can’t lose him too!
A fist connects with the side of my head, before a feral animal lunges at me and takes me to the ground with a hard thud. His fists fly and hit me anywhere they can land. Blow after blow impacts my already battered body, but I don’t bother fighting back. I don’t even make an attempt to utter a plea of mercy, one I know I am unworthy of.Die. I need to die. I deserve to die, and he will grant me my wish.
“You son of a bitch!” A fist lands on my nose, crushing it with a vicious crunch. “I’ll fucking kill you!” Another lands on the side of my head, making the back of my skull thump against the floor. “How could you betray her?” This time, his fist lands on my chest, and with it, my breath ceases to leave my body, becoming trapped. “How could you betray all of us?”Just a few more, and I can join her. Just a few more, and I can die and maybe be forgiven.
“GET A HOLD OF THIS HEATHEN!” My father’s furious voice echoes in the quieting room. Two guards grab onto an unhinged Sammy and pull him off of me, forcing his arms tightly behind his back, even as he continues to lunge toward me.
“You’re dead! You hear me, traitor, you’re dead!” Sammy shouts, bloody spittle flying from his lips as his dark blue eyes storm with a bright rage. He’s covered in so much blood, and injuries, that it is a wonder he is even still standing, never mind trying to kill me.I took her away from him. I murdered the love of his life. Betrayer, traitor, forsaker.
“Abe.” I look around quickly, searching for his body as more of my father’s guards move about. The floor is littered with the dead and dying, both Brotherhood men and rebels, meeting their fate and taking their last breaths here in this space.
“Gone, little prince. Your lover is gone, taken by the fucking rebels,” the guard who cut me earlier utters with malice.
“NO!” I shout, pushing dead bodies off of one another, searching for Abe, regardless of all my injuries. He has to be here. I can’t have done all of this and have lost him too. He can’t be gone, I have to explain. I have to make him see that I had no choice. That I couldn’t lose him, and I couldn’t watch them torture her.
He. Can’t. Be. Gone.
A deranged cackle sounds in the air, followed by the sound of flesh hitting flesh. “You took my Nightstar,motherfucker, and the rebels took your Abe. I hope they are as kind to him as you were to her.“ A groan breaks from Sammy’s lips, as one of the guards slams his knee into the side of his face. “Karma… is a… bitch, Ezekiel. You… lose… too.”
Chapter seven
The Sinner
Dinah
I’mwalkingthroughaflower-filled meadow, sunshine warming my pale skin. The heat brings me so much pleasure and peace, as the flower-scented air brings me happiness. The pretty, colorful birds soar high above in a bright, blue sky, chasing clouds and enjoying their ability to escape everything. I crave their self-determination and independence. It’s a longing within my blood that demands that I, too, fly high and soar with the wind. I wish I were one of those birds.