Page 12 of Be My Sacrifice
Sammy, where are you?
Chapter eight
The Liar
Abe
Mymother’swordsmakelittle or no sense to my muddled brain, but all I process is that Dinah is somehow still alive. She’s still breathing, still holding onto this world. Despite Zeke attempting to murder her, she is still here, fighting and refusing to be parted from us. The need to be with her, to hold her and keep her safe, is all-consuming. My Atasi is alive, and I swear I will never allow Zeke or anyone else to fucking hurt her. I will murder anyone who even thinks to try.
“Before you think to rush in there, Abraham, we must speak. There are things you need to understand.” My mother’s soft voice breaks through my contemplations, and I finally withdraw from my thoughts and really look at her. What. The. Fuck.Who is this woman before me?
She looks nothing like the pristine image of my mother that I’m used to seeing, in her proper conservative Sacred Wife gowns, with her hair neatly tied back, and her demure way of holding herself. No, this woman is the complete opposite; she radiates strength and defiance, not meekness and obedience like my mother usually does before my father, and any male of the Order. I don’t know what is more shocking to me, the fact that she’s wearing pants and the clothing of the rebels, or her unbound hair coiling around her face and immediately making her look younger.
I always knew my mother was beautiful, one of the most beautiful wives in the Brotherhood, but looking at her now, I realize how being my father’s wife, and the expectations of the Order, dimmed her light. “You’re a rebel? How can that be?” The words escape my lips, and I’m instantly unsure if I should have asked them. This woman before me feels like a stranger. She wears my mother’s face, but she is an entirely different person; it’s as if a mask has been removed, and this is the real her. A person I have never known.
“It’s not that simple, Abraham.” She moves closer and sits next to me on the bed, reaching for one of my hands and cradling it between both of hers, and in my shock, I allow it. “Yes, I am part of the rebel faction. I have been working within the Brotherhood for many years to help save as many as possible, but I am also your father’s wife and your mother. All those entities make up who and what I am.”Can that be true? Can she be all those things? Can she be a stranger and, yet, my mother?
“Does dad know?” The minute the words leave my mouth, I know it’s not even remotely possible. My father is a coward, a follower. There is no way he would have allowed my mother to be part of the rebels. He would have murdered her if he knew.
A snort leaves my mother, and the sound is so unusual for her that both my eyebrows reach my hairline. “Your father is oblivious to most things where I am concerned. He would never believe that I was part of the rebels, and that has worked for me, especially in the last couple of years.”
She’s not wrong, my father is fucking useless. I know how he sees women; they are disposable. They’re to be used as needed and then discarded. I can’t say that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree until very recently. I, too, used women as nothing but playthings to amuse myself and satisfy a need, and when they were no longer relevant, I had no qualms about taking their lives and ensuring I enjoyed their last breaths.
That was until Dinah reentered my life, and made me realize I had been waiting for her all this time. No other woman could ever mean as much to me as she does, and no one could ever fill that hole in my heart, because it has always only belonged to her. Everything I am, and will be, is intricately entwined with who she is. Fate brought us together as children, Zeke, her, and me, three threads whose destiny was always to be woven together.
“What do you do for the rebels, Mom?” Curiosity gets the better of me. I genuinely want to know what the gentle woman I have known all my life does for the rebellion. This was a woman who tucked me into bed and sung lullabies most of my childhood, who kissed my scraped knees and baked cookies, and who often bore the brunt of my father’s displeasure for my reckless actions. How can she be of use to the rebels?
“Whatever I can, son. I use my position to gain intel, which the rebels use against the Brotherhood. Your father doesn’t hold his tongue in my presence, and the high-ranking men of the Order don’t fear a woman.” She smirks, but I also see the sadness deep in her amber eyes. I know the horrors that my father has subjected her to, passing her around and letting other men use her to gain influence.Fucking bastard.
I should have killed him years ago, and it’s not like the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. I never did it because I didn’t know if committing the act would put her in even further danger. The Brotherhood can be unpredictable, and women have always been treated as possessions, chattel to be passed around, and used in any way a man desires. My mother comes from a founding family, and is a prize another man would greedily demand. Who’s to say that man wouldn’t have been even worse than my father? I couldn’t fucking risk it. I didn’t have the fortitude to fight like Gabriel did, to protect his mom once his father died. I worried I would fuck up her life worse than what it already was.
“I guess I should amend that statement now, shouldn’t I? They definitely fear a woman now, especially if that woman is theUnholy Ghost. What a brave and terrifying girl Dinah Camrose grew up to be.”
The mention of Dinah’s name brings me back to the here and now. “How did you know that she was the Ghost? Why are we here? Why did the rebels come to rescue Dinah?”
A deep sigh leaves her lips, before her hands tighten on mine. “We have known for a while. She began the killings shortly after her mother’s death. Although the connection was hidden, and she and Sammy took great pains to disguise it, if you were paying close attention, you could pick up the timeline. They just never would have suspected a woman; in fact, for a while, we believed it was actually Sammy who was the ghost.”
A weary sigh leaves her lips. “Yes, Abraham, they did rescue her and you, but the reason behind that is not mine to tell, and you will have to be patient until it is. Her brother, Gabriel, was part of the rebels. In fact, he was a leader within the faction.”
Her eyes rise to mine, and shock races through my system. Gabriel was a rebel? How is that possible, and I didn’t know it? I always knew he had other beliefs, ones contrary to the Order’s demands. He often spoke about the treatment of women in our society, and urged Zeke and me to raise our voices against the old ways, but to have actually been a rebel and we not be aware.What. The. Fuck.I feel like I am living in some alternate reality where everything I knew is somehow backward.
A part of me feels deceived, as if I didn’t honestly know him even though he was one of my oldest friends, and my lover. Did Zeke know and never mention his suspicions? Noah vocalized that Zeke was the one to tip off the Brotherhood about Gabriel’s actions. Did Zeke genuinely have a part in murdering our best friend? I don’t want to believe it, but how can I not when he so easily murdered Dinah?
A voice in the back of my mind reminds me that he did it to save me. Noah’s words confirmed that it was either Dinah or me, and that Zeke would have to make a decision on who lived, otherwise, both of us would have perished. Deep down, I know he loves me and was put in an impossible situation, so he made the choice he thought he could live with, but he made the wrong one. He should have let me die. I will never forgive him for trying to take her life.
“He never told you and Zeke because he wanted to ensure that you both were protected, if he was ever caught and tortured. That way, he could ensure that neither of you had a part to play in the rebels’ actions, and could deny knowing about his participation. He loved you, Abraham, and Zeke, more than he did himself.”
She must see the question I’m about to ask. “He knew you weren’t ready. He knew neither of you had the same feelings as he did about the Brotherhood. While you both detested the Order and your stations within it, you weren’t truly ready to fight against it. You lacked purpose.”
My chest tightens painfully at the thought of Gabriel all alone in his struggles, hiding who and what he was from us, the men who loved him. He fought and lost his life fighting against a corrupt society, while Zeke and I comfortably enjoyed the riches and privileges of being born into a high-ranking family, and yet he never treated us with less than love.
“He knew you were part of the rebels?”
“Yes, together we were trying to find a way to free Dinah and his mother. I was the one who made the arrangements to get his infant son to the safety of the rebels after his death.” A tear slides down the side of her face, before disappearing off her jaw and falling on our joined hands. “He never made it to us, Abraham. That child and his mother were intercepted in transit by the Order, and they have him. They have Gabriel’s boy.”
No! She has to be wrong.Zeke and I made sure to get Gabriel’s son to safety. We did everything we could to hide our tracks, and ensure that there was no trace of him and his mother. “Where is he now? Who has him?” Rage fills me, pumping adrenaline through my system. I want to race out of here and go save that little boy, one of the last remnants of my Gabriel, from the evil of the Order.
“We believe that you were all being watched, that the Order always knew about the boy and his mother. We think that Noah Rothesay has him hidden away, and was waiting to make a play for the Camrose fortune and power. He always planned on murdering Dinah eventually. He knew he wouldn’t be able to control Zeke or you, and that you both were protective where she was concerned.”