Page 113 of Outback Secrets

That couldn’t be a coincidence. It had to be a sign. A reminder.

When he’d stopped in Bunyip Bay after coming down the north coast of Western Australia, he’d been almost certain this idyllic spot would be his last. He’d been contemplating suicide for almost three years; travelling to Australia had been his last-ditch attempt to find meaning in his life. But as much as he’d enjoyed seeing all the amazing sights—the Great Barrier Reef, Uluru, the beautiful gorges of the Kimberleys—none of it gave him what he was looking for.

He was exhausted. He was tired of running. He couldn’t handle the pain any longer and the thought of facing yet another Christmas alone had finally pushed him over the edge.

His first couple of years in Australia, he’d stayed in youth hostels—not that he needed to, but it felt extravagant splashing out on fancy hotels or resorts just for him, and the shiny marble bathrooms and fluffy white towels always reminded him of his mom. It didn’t feel right to be enjoying such luxuries when she couldn’t, when none of his family could. Generally, he liked the people he met at hostels more than those he shared the elevators with in five-star hotels anyway.

But Christmas in hostels was unbearable.

Yes, there were lots of other single people without family to spend the day with, but for most of them that was simply because they were having an adventure far from home and they partied hard while making the most of it.

Liam never felt like partying anymore, least of all in December when every single decoration, Christmas carol and Santa hat reminded him of the worst day of his life.

So that year, he hadn’t booked anywhere to stay. He’d decided he wasn’t going to need it anyway. Unless he took his life in a hotel room, but that didn’t seem fair on whoever found him. He’d contemplated the best way to do it, always stumbling at the thought of the stranger who would discover him. What if a kid found him? He already felt enough guilt on earth; he didn’t want to take even more into the afterlife with him. Not that he believed in an afterlife, but that was beside the point.

He’d been thinking about exactly this as he swam in the bay and had come to the conclusion that swimming out as far as he could go, until he could swim no more, and letting the ocean take him would be the best option. It was unlikely anyone would ever notice him missing. Perhaps a shark would get him and if not, hopefully his body would drift somewhere far, far away where nobody would ever find him.

And what better place to say goodbye than in Bunyip Bay, which had to be one of the most beautiful beaches he’d seen across all of Australia?

Feeling calmer than he had in years, he’d gone to The Palace for his final meal and a few beers, planning to come back down to the beach that night and swim out to the horizon. If he hadn’t met Arthur McArthur, he felt certain he’d have followed through, but the old publican had seen something in his eyes.

When he’d brought him his dinner and a pint, he’d sat across the table from him and asked him questions that his therapist had asked him in the early days, but without the tone or the watching of the clock that had always made him feel like shit.

Arthur had listened. Really listened.

Liam couldn’t even explain it, but there’d been something about Arthur that had made all the difference to him. He suddenly saw an alternative option—a path where he could try and make a difference to others in the same way.

He hadn’t killed himself, obviously. Instead, he’d bought the pub and thrown his heart and soul into running it, but neither had he forgotten that dark, dark time. He’d made a life for himself here, but he worked hard every day to keep his demons at bay—he swam, he made things, he helped others, and he also took anti-depressants.

Hisdemons. Demons that had pushed Katie away.

Demons that could hurt Henri in the same way. The last week had been fun, but it couldn’t stay that way forever. If they got together properly, there would be days, weeks, when he struggled to get out of bed, and that was the kind of burden Henri didn’t need in her life. Possibly he was jumping the gun; he wasn’t even sure she felt the same way about him as he did about her, but he couldn’t take the risk.

Liam sat with Sheila, watching the sun come up, and then, his heart heavy, he did what he needed to do. This wasn’t just about self-preservation.

Most importantly, it was what was best for Henri.