Page 59 of Pucking Only

That’s the real problem, though, isn’t it? I don’t want to shake her. I’ve had flings before, plenty of them, but nothing like this. I’ve never wanted a woman like I want her. Just thinking about her makes my dick start to get hard, and it’s a fucking nuisance walking around most of the time with a half-chub because I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s sexy, playful, and open minded. That’s hot as hell.

Damn it, there I go, getting hard again.

I run a hand through my hair, frustration simmering just below the surface. The thought of her leaving Denver makes my chest tighten and I feel like I’m suffocating. That’s not normal for me. I’m not the type to get attached or to want something more. But with Skyler…damn it, I don’t know what I want.

The worst part is, I keep finding myself thinking about what it would be like if she didn’t leave. If she stayed here, in Denver, with me. The two of us, together, making this thing between us real. I’ve never wanted that with anyone before. Hell, I’ve always avoided it. Relationships complicate things, tie you down, but when I think about Skyler leaving, all I can think about is how much I want her to stay.

Shaking my head, I push away from the sink. I’m thinking crazy. A relationship in general, let alone with Skyler, isn’t something I want. It never has been. My parents make it seem perfect, easy, but I know it’s not. Just the pressure of perfection alone has been enough of a reason for me to avoid it.

I need to clear my mind, get some distance, or I’m going todrive myself insane. Pulling out my phone, I scroll through my contacts until I find Jensen’s name. I hesitate before I hit the call button. I need someone to talk to who can help get some perspective about this whole messy situation.

The phone rings twice before he answers. “Carson, what’s up, man?”

“Hey, you up for a drink?” I ask, trying to sound casual, like I’m not about to lose it.

“Sure,” Jensen replies without missing a beat. “Grace is having a girl’s night with Skyler anyway, so I’m free. Meet you at The Ice Hawk in twenty?”

I flinch at the sound of Skyler’s name but quickly push the weird twisting feeling in my chest away.

“See you there.”

When I walk into the bar, I spot Jensen immediately. He’s already got a booth, two beers in front of him, and a grin on his face that tells me he’s ready to give me shit. It’s been over a week since I fucked up so bad during that game, and I’ve been avoiding him a little bit so he wouldn’t go all Mother Hen on me and probe to figure out what was wrong with me that day. I just hope it’s been long enough now that he’s not as concerned about it anymore. I slide into the seat across from him, grabbing the beer and taking a long sip.

“Rough day?” Jensen asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You have no idea,” I mutter, setting the glass down and rubbing a hand over my face.

“Wanna talk about it, or are we just here to drink our problems away?” Jensen leans back, watching me with thateasygoing smile he always has, but there’s a sharpness in his eyes that tells me he knows something’s up.

I hesitate for a moment, then decide to just go for it. If I can’t talk to Jensen, who the hell can I talk to? Yeah, Grace is his girlfriend, but that just means he’d probably understand more than anyone else what kind of shit I’m going through.

“It’s Skyler,” I admit, my voice low like I’m confessing some deep, dark secret.

Jensen’s grin widens. “Oh, this should be good. What’s going on with Skyler?”

I roll my eyes. “It’s not like that.”

“Sure, it’s not,” he says, laughing. “So why do you look like someone just kicked you in the nuts?”

I take another sip of my beer, trying to find the right words. “It’s complicated. We’ve been… hooking up.”

I pause, waiting for Jensen to respond. To show some type of surprise. He doesn’t. He doesn’t look surprised at all. He just continues watching me expectantly.

“And?” he urges.

“And… and it’s been good,” I admit. “Don’t get me wrong. I mean, we haven’t done it too many times, but the times we have were really, really good. But now, I don’t know, man. It’s getting to me.”

Jensen raises his eyebrows, looking amused. “Carson, you’ve been into Skyler for years now. Don’t act like this is some big revelation.”

I stare at him, stunned. “What the hell are you talking about? No I haven’t.”

“She’s the only person outside of your family and the team that you’ve got a real connection with,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve never found a woman who can stand toe-to-toe with you like Skyler can. I remember back in college, you used to call your sister, butyou’d always end up bickering with her ‘geeky, pain-in-the ass’ roommate, and then you’d complain about her for weeks. All because of one single phone call.”

I open my mouth to argue, to brush off his words with some half-hearted joke, but nothing comes out. Deep down, I know he’s right. Skyler isn’t just another hookup or another woman I’ll forget about when she leaves Denver. She’s different. She’s always been different. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve been too blind or too stubborn to see it.

I stare at Jensen, my mind spinning. “You really think there’s something more between us?”

Jensen smirks, leaning back in his seat like he’s just won some argument I didn’t even know we were having. “You’re only just now figuring that out? I’ve been watching you two ever since she got here, man. She’s the only one who I’ve ever seen get under your skin. You’ve never even realized it. She pushes you, challenges you, and you do the same to her. That’s rare, Carson.”