Page 70 of Pucking Only
“Carson, honey, your sister and Jensen are almost here, so you can go ahead and get ready to give the toast.”
Not now. God, not now. I force a smile, trying to keep mytone steady as I finally manage to slip out of Elizabeth’s hold. “Mom, can it wait just a minute? I need to — ”
“Nonsense,” my dad chimes in, already guiding me toward the front of the room where everyone’s gathered. “You’re the oldest, technically speaking. You have to kick things off.”
I look back over my shoulder, desperately searching for any sign of Skyler, but she’s gone. My heart is racing, my mind whirling with thoughts of her, of the look on her face when she saw me with Elizabeth.
The crowd gathers around, glasses raised, all eyes on me. My dad hands me a microphone. I clear my throat, trying to focus, but my thoughts keep drifting back to Skyler. What if she’s leaving? What if I don’t get a chance to explain? What if I’ve already lost her?
I stand at the front of the room, holding a glass of champagne, my heart pounding in my chest as everyone quiets down. My parents are sitting at the head table, beaming, and the sight of them together makes my throat tighten. Their love is the kind people talk about but rarely see. Real, unwavering, and decades strong.
Just then, Grace and Jensen come hurrying into the room. Grace waves at me as they make their way to Mom and Dad’s table, and then gives me a thumbs up, as if to say I’m good to go.
Taking a breath and trying to steady myself, I glance around the room at all the familiar faces, and then down at my glass. I lift it, forcing a smile that I hope hides how distracted I feel.
“Thank you all for being here tonight,” I start, my voice sounding steady but distant even to my own ears. “We’re here to celebrate 30 years of marriage. 30 years of love, strength, and a bond that’s only grown stronger over time.”
I look over at my parents, and my chest tightens again. They smile at each other, my mom reaching out to squeeze my dad’s hand. I can see the love between them in that small gesture. It’s the kind of love that lasts through every high and low, through arguments and hardships, and never fades. Mom’s blue eyes sparkle and Dad brushes a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, his dark gaze locked on her as if no one else exists in the world at that moment but the two of them. Skyler and Jensen are standing next to them, their arms around each other as they smile up at me as well. Yet another couple impossibly in love.
It hits me at that moment that I always thought Mom and Dad set the bar too high, that trying to find a love like theirs was a near impossible goal. Yet, Grace did it. She found Jensen and their bond is just as strong as our parents’ is. Maybe finding that kind of love is possible, after all.
“Mom and Dad,” I continue, “you’ve shown me and everyone else here what it means to truly love someone. You’ve built something beautiful — a partnership that can’t be broken, no matter what life throws at you. I admire that more than you know.”
The room is quiet. The whole party is listening intently, but my mind isn’t focused on them anymore. My thoughts drift, and I can’t stop them from going to Skyler. I imagine her sitting beside me at a table like this as we celebrate our own anniversary someday. I picture her laughing, her brown eyes bright, and that soft smile she gets when she’s really happy.
God, I want that with her. I want what my parents have — with her. Skyler is the only one I can imagine building a life with. She’s the only one who’s ever made me think about a future like this. It’s always been her.
“Finding someone to share your life with,” I say, my words slipping out softer, “someone who understands you, who challenges you, who stands by your side no matter what… that’s what my parents have. And I can only hope that one day I’ll be lucky enough to find that with someone.”
I swallow, my eyes scanning the room briefly, but all I can picture is Skyler and how badly I wish she was still here right now.
I’ve learned from my parents,” I continue, pulling my thoughts back to the present, “that love isn’t just about the good times. It’s about sticking together through the hard times, about fighting for each other, and never letting go. It’s about building a future, brick by brick, day by day, until you’ve made something that lasts.”
I lift my glass a little higher. “Here’s to my parents and their unshakeable love and commitment.”
There’s a murmur of agreement, glasses clinking around the room, but I barely hear it. All I can think about is Skyler, how much I need to talk to her, to make things right. I can’t just let her go, and I can’t just ignore the way I feel when I’m with her. She’s the only person I can imagine building a future with, the only one I want by my side when I’m standing in a room like this again years from now.
I smile and nod as the applause starts, but inside, I’m already thinking of how to make my way to Skyler. I’ve waited too long already. I just hope it’s not too late.
When I’m able to finally get away from the crowd, I hurry out of the country club, hoping that there’s a chance I can still catch her. She’s nowhere to be seen. I curse under my breath, frustration and fear clawing at my insides. I can’t let her leave like this, thinking… whatever she’s thinking. I have to find her. I have to make this right.
Pulling out my phone, I try calling her, but she doesn’t answer. I text her, begging her to call me, but the message goes unanswered.
Fuck! I don’t even know where she’s staying. If she’s notgoing to answer my texts and calls, there’s nothing I can do to try to find her except ask Grace. As tempted as I am to go hunt my sister down right this second and grill her for Skyler’s location, I resist. I can’t do anything to risk ruining my parents’ party in any way. Cornering my sister and potentially getting into a bit of back and forth isn’t really an option right now.
Clenching and unclenching my hands, I release a long breath and turn to make my way back into the party. First thing in the morning, I’ll focus on finding Skyler before she disappears back to California.
I toss and turn all night long. Every time I close my eyes, I see Skyler’s face, her big brown eyes filled with confusion and pain, and then the image of her rushing out of the party without a backward glance. I can’t shake the image, can’t stop replaying the moment in my head. By morning, I’m still groggy, but the urgency is pounding in my chest, pushing me to action. I need to talk to her. I need to make this right. First I need to find Grace so she can tell me where Skyler is because when I check my phone, I still have no response to my texts or calls.
Climbing out of bed, I move around my hotel room, quickly getting ready. I’m glad I opted to pay for a room to myself instead of staying at Mom and Dad’s. Their house is crowded with family this weekend and I wouldn’t be able to slip away so easily. Just as I’m pulling on a shirt, there’s a sharp knock on my door.
I go to answer it, but I’ve barely even cracked the door open before Grace shoves her way inside and past me. Whenshe spins to face me, I can tell she’s fuming, her eyes narrowed, arms crossed over her chest.
“What the hell were you thinking last night, Carson?”
I blink, caught off guard by her anger and totally blanking on what she could be mad about. “Grace, I — ”
“Elizabeth?” she snaps, cutting me off. “Of all people, Carson! And right in front of Skyler? Do you have any idea how that looked?”