Page 26 of Almost

Whenever I’m spotted anywhere, the spotlight tends to shift toward me despite having zero desire for it. That’s one thing that’s never changed.

Last night was about Thalia and the charity. She was glowing because of how happy she was. If she knew I was there, it would have ruined her night.

I wasn’t even going to go until I ran into her mom at the grocery store. Mrs. Lewis insisted that Thalia would want me there, despite knowing how wrong she was, albeit a little convincing, and I was making another bad decision. I really need to stand my ground more. This is getting pathetic.

I made a one hundred thousand dollar donation to the coordinator of the charity, but when he asked for my name, I said I wanted it to be anonymous. I have more money than I know what to do with. I usually send a few good size donations to animal and women’s shelters throughout theyear, but it felt like the right thing to do. It was the least I could do after the hell I’ve put Thalia through recently.

Donating money doesn’t excuse my actions in the slightest—I know that—but I hope it can do some good for the charity.

I’d woken up before the ass crack of dawn to go for a hike, but the real test was if I could locate the turnoff to find the cliff Thalia showed me years ago.

So far I’m failing. I haven’t been here in years, but I remember Thalia describing it as the only place in the world where things could be simplified. That’s what I need right now. However, what I don’t need is spraining my ankle by tripping over a tree root my flashlight missed.

I can’t believe I’m up this early, but if I can find it, I think it’ll be worth it. It’s not like I’ve been sleeping well anyway.

Coming to Greensboro was supposed to help me figure things out, but I think all it’s done is muddy the waters more.

I don’t quite know why I thought being here would help me clear my head, because instead it feels like I’ve been transported into the past. I half expect Thalia to walk in the door every time I sit in the living room to watch game film from last season.

It’s been a stressful couple of days.

I haven’t heard from Kiera, but I also haven’t reached out either. I’m not sure what I’m waiting for. I’m confused about what I’m confused about.

Stopping in my tracks, I squint and shine the flashlight on what looks like the offshoot trail because I feel like I’ve been walking forever. The worst that can happen is I have to turn around, and continue moving forward until I come across the next potential trail.

Thankfully, I end up exactly where I want to be on the ledge as I sit down, but there’s no sight of the sun starting to rise.

~

I keep trying to get past reporters who have flooded the field. We just won the wildcard division game, and made the team’s first play-off run for the first time in a decade. Our first-string quarterback had gotten hurt halfway through the season, which meant I had to step up my rookie season in the NFL. It was so exhilarating and the fact that Owen was playing as a rookie too made me feel so much better.

The person I want to see right now is somewhere in this massive crowd of people. She’s the only person I want to see, except these damn reporters are so busy talking about the next game while I’m ready to celebrate tonight and the great win we just had.

I’m hit from behind by who I’m assuming is Thalia jumping onto my back since she used to do this all the time to me.

I crane my head to look at her, and her smile might be bigger than mine.

She kisses my cheek and more confetti rains down on the field. A part of me feels bad for the grounds crew that’s going to have to pick all this up, but I feel like I’m on top of the world right now.

I do my best to keep a straight face as the reporters ask me question after question, but it’s hard to focus when Thalia is whispering in my ear everything we’re going to do tonight when we get home. We’ve been living together full time for a little over a month.

For as flustered as this girl gets when I say shit to her, she isn’t shy right now at all. Finally, the reporters decide that our coach is more interesting than I am to interview, and I waste no time setting Thalia on her feet to kiss her deeply.

I don’t care who sees because I am so in love with this girl.

“I’m so proud of you,” she says, pulling back. I brush a piece of confetti out of her blonde hair.

“Love, I could not have done this without your support. Thank you.”

She drove all the way to Charlotte for my first game as a starter when I was so nervous I threw up before going on the field.

But two months later, here we are.

Thalia smiles brightly at me, her eyes a twinkling sea of green. “We should go find Owen before any reporters find him. You know how much he loves to talk about himself.”

The rest of the night is a blur.

After finishing a shower I desperately needed due to champagne bottles being sprayed across the locker room, I walk out of the bathroom to see Thalia posed on our bed watching me intently. My mouth goes dry when I realize she’s only wearing a Panthers jersey.