Page 61 of Almost
“Sometimes I think the same thing.”
Why do I feel like that has a double meaning?
I clear my throat, broaching a topic I’ve been avoiding since the funeral. “Do you think about Mimi a lot?”
“Every single day,” Sebastian answers instantaneously. “Actually, I’ve been trying to ask myself what I think she’d say about everything that’s happened.”
“She’d probably tell you some cryptic quote she heard somewhere for you to make sense of,” I say, fondly remembering all the times Mimi did that for me. It was far too many times to count, but she was always right.
“Probably. It’s that, or she’d bring up her favorite word. I forget all the time that I havealmosttattooed on my back until there’s a new guy in the locker room who points to it and asks while laughing. All I have to do at that point is motion to this guy, Miles, who is an offensive lineman who got a picture of his naked, now ex-girlfriend tattooed on his bicep. My tiny one is all but forgotten after that.”
“Please tell me you’re joking.”
Sebastian laughs heartily, the sound filling my chest with joy. “I can’t believe Owen never told you about him. He once joked in front of Blake that he was going to get one of her. Blake shut that shit down quickly by telling him if he did, she’d shave his head and writeidiotacross his forehead. It’s really terrible. Reminds me of a trashier version of ‘draw me like one of your French girls’ from Titanic.”
“Did you really just quote Titanic to me?” There’s no way.
Sebastian’s laughter fades, and I feel the immediate shift. “It’s Kiera’s favorite movie. I’ve watched it plenty of times over the past few years.”
“Have you talked to her?” I ask quietly, debating on whether I should try another abrupt conversation change. How exactly does one comfort their ex-boyfriend about his pregnant ex-fiancée?
“What would I say? Congratulations on your baby?” he asks sarcastically, and I know the frustration isn’t directed at me. Still, I feel bad for Bash. I can’t imagine the shit he’s dealing with that he doesn’t talk about with me.
“No, I probably wouldn’t say that.”
“Not all of us are friends with our exes like you.” There’s an edge to his voice that wasn’t there before and my back stiffens. This is definitely directed at me.
I take a deep breath, giving myself a moment before responding. “It was a question, Bash. I’m sorry for asking. I’m aware not everyone is friends with their exes, but considering the only ones I’m friends with are you and Eric, I wouldn’t think you’d be complaining.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m definitely not complaining, just stressed and jealous,” Sebastian grumbles.
“I’m not sure why. You’re the only one I talk to in the middle of the night.”
Maybe this is my sign I need to close my eyes and try harder to sleep. It’s too easy for me to be sucked into his orbit.
“I’m jealous because Eric could see you anytime he wanted. I’m stressed because Kiera is making things unnecessarily difficult, and the only time I feel like I don’t have to pretend to be anyone other than myself is when I’m talking to you.”
“This won’t last forever.” It feels stupid to say, but it’s the truth. Eventually the media will find someone else to hound, and Sebastian and I will be in a better place.
“Yeah, but I’ve already spent four years away from you. It won’t last forever, but it’s not going to go away anytime soon.” He swears quietly under his breath as my heartbeat quickens. He can’t be allowed to say shit like that in the middle of the night. It has me second-guessing my friends decision, despite knowing it’s the right move. “My agent hired a private investigator to find who was selling that shit to the media. Kiera’s best friend is the one behind all the rumors and tabloid gossip. Kiera’s refusing to do a damn thing about it, probably because it portrays her like a saint.”
This isn’t right. It’s not right at all. “You don’t deserve this, Sebastian.”
I understand why he doesn’t want to speak out regarding what happened because he’s always tried to keep his personal life separate from his career.
Bash is quiet for a few moments, and I’d give anything to read his mind. Thankfully, I don’t have to. “But don’t I? Before I found out, I’d spent the prior two weeks trying to convince myself that I loved her enough to spend the rest of my life with her. I was having doubts for a while. I wanted love to be enough, but I’m a fool.”
The pain in his voice is very real, and it makes my heart hurt. “If it’s the right person, it can be enough.”
“I hope you’re right, Lia.”
Perfect, now this conversation is heading into a territory that doesn’t sound like one that friends would have. We’re really not doing a good job at this. But I’ve heard everything he said tonight and since their engagement ended, and it sounds like Sebastian is lonely.
An idea pops into my brain, and it might not fix everything, but it might make him feel better for a little bit. It might make me feel better too. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Workout, and then calling to cancel more wedding shit. Why?”
“Because I think we could both use a day to relax.”