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It’s absolutely a no.
The only sound in the room is the rhythmic banging of the headboard in the rhythm of his hips connecting with mine, as I hold onto dear life, forcing my eyes to stay on Sebastian. I don’t think I can look away, even if I wanted to.
I shift to reach between my legs, but as if Bash can read my mind, he adjusts the angle to where he can reach below to play with my clit again. It’s sensitive underneath his touch, but it only feels that much better as he pummels into me over and over again. His movements become more erratic, and I can tell by the clenching of his jaw and muscles that he’s holding off to wait for me.
“Come for me, Lia.”
“Sebastian,” I moan his name as I fall apart because of him. Bash follows behind me, his cock twitching inside me as he comes. My heart is racing in my chest as he pulls out, climbing off me as I slump into the mattress, my energy spent. He presses a kiss on my head before disappearing intothe bathroom, reappearing a moment later as my eyes fall shut tiredly.
“Lia, spread your legs,” he says, and my eyes open widely.
“Again already? Dude, I’m not superhuman. Give me like five minutes at the bare minimum,” I beg as Sebastian laughs softly behind me.
“I’m cleaning you up. As much as I’d love to take you up on that, what I’d really like to do is hold you if that’s okay with you.”
It takes a lot of effort, but I move my body to rest my head in the pillows, allowing Sebastian to clean me with a damp washcloth. His eyebrows are furrowed, and I can tell his brain is moving a mile a minute.
“Bash,” I say quietly, catching his attention.
“What?” he asks, his face softening as he finishes.
“Are you okay?”
His jaw ticks, and he drags a hand over his face, avoiding looking me in the eye. “I got caught up in the moment, and…I didn’t use a condom.”
Oh.Oh. Now it makes sense why he’s freaking out. “Hey, it’s okay. I have an IUD. The only person I’ve ever been with bare is you, but I got tested at my last OBGYN appointment, and I was negative for everything. I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about using one.”
“I didn’t think about it either. I got tested after finding out Kiera cheated, and I was also negative for everything,” he says, relief filling his face. “So we’re good?” he asks hesitantly, and I smile reassuringly.
“We’re good, Bash.”
Taking me at my word, Sebastian flips the covers over, climbing underneath them to pull me into the curve of hisbody. Bash presses a series of short kisses to my shoulder, causing my heart to sing at the sweetness of the moment. “Do you regret it?” he asks quietly, and despite what Sebastian might think he’s hiding in his voice, the raw vulnerability is clear as day to me.
“No, I don’t,” I answer honestly. Being with and around Sebastian makes me feel complete in a variety of ways, but it’s soon. It’s way too soon, and I know better. I could have walked away before things escalated. “Do you?”
He laughs gruffly. “Absolutely fucking not. I know my life is a disaster, and there’s a thousand reasons we shouldn’t have done that, but I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be right now.”
His strong arm slides around my waist, the weight a comfort that threatens to lull me back to sleep as I listen to the steady sound of his breathing.
This is my favorite version of Sebastian. The one stripped down from all the glamour, who simply wants to love fiercely, and be loved just as hard in return.
“Today was just what I needed.” Sebastian’s voice is a slurred combination of French and English, and I smile.
“I think so too. Part of me doesn’t want to go back to real life tomorrow,” I admit, wishing I could stay in this moment forever.
The back and forth of my brain warring between what I want and what I should do is driving me insane. I’m not oblivious enough to think tonight means we’re back together. At least, I’m not sure if that’s what I want it to mean. I strongly believe Bash needs to sort through his shit, and I’m willing to wait as long as he needs to have him back in my life. Tonight only solidified that Sebastian Walker has ruined me for any other man, and he has no idea.
Tonight was us finally refusing to worry about everyone and everything else in our lives; it was us taking the time to get to know each other again on a physical and psychological level.
“We could stay here—get that beach house, and never look back.”
“That sounds nice,” I agree, closing my eyes with the hope of dreaming that into reality because it would be perfect.
And it really does sound nice.
Unfortunately, luck isn’t on our side.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE