Page 99 of Almost
“But Sebastian is.” And he is. God, he looks at Kiera like he used to look at me, and that was months ago. I can’t imagine how much further he’s fallen in love with stupid perfect Kiera. I’ve avoided him like the plague, upping my number of trips to ensure that I have no chance of running into him.
It’s terrible, especially considering I spent the last few months dating Eric, or at least trying to. It’s hard to date someone you never see. He broke up with me a few weeks ago, and I really can’t blame him. I only came back when I heard Mimi’s health was severely declining.
Mimi laughs, clearly finding this funny. “Trust me, I know when my grandson is happy. He might think he’s happy with thatgirl, but I don’t trust her. I know I haven’t been…present for a while, but I don’t think they’re going to make it—not when he’s still in love with you.”
I force my smile to remain when all I feel like doing is crying. “Mimi, I can promise you he’s not still in love with me. I broke his heart.” And my own at the same time.
“Owen told me everything that happened between you. He might be a better gossip than the lady across the hall who never shuts up.” She rolls her eyes, coughing quietly as I laugh. “I know Bash. I raised him. Sebastian loves as fiercely as his father did, and when I asked him about you, I wish you could see the way his face changed so you would believe me when I say he still loves you.”
The way her words fill my heart with the tiniest sliver of hope that I haven’t lost him for good is exactly why we shouldn’t be talking about this.
“Can we please talk about something else?”
Mimi reaches out for my hand, hers shaking as it’s extended in the air. “No. We can’t talk about something else because I can’t pass knowing that you aren’t going to tell my boy how you really feel about him.”
Tears blur my vision because this can’t be the last time I talk to her. I take her hand, clasping it between mine as if I can hold on tight enough to keep her here forever. I sniffle loudly, shaking my head. “No, Mimi. Don’t say that. There’s still time…I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
“I love you, my sweet girl. You’re as beautiful inside as you are outside. I hope you know how proud of you I am.” Mimi smiles as my tears fall, and I shake my head.
“Mimi—”
She squeezes my hand tightly. “Your photos have always shown that there’s more to the eye than what you see at first glance. It’s taught you patience in some areas, but I’m asking youto have a little more patience with Sebastian. He’s going to need you.”
I wipe my nose on the sleeve of my sweatshirt, a quiet sob slipping through. “You’re right. I do love him. I miss him, but I don’t think it’s meant to be.” My heart fractures in my chest because I want it to be so badly, but there’s no way we can go back to how things were.
“I’m tired. I’ve lived a good life, but I don’t want you to come here again. It’s only going to get ugly from here, and I don’t want you to remember me that way,” she says firmly, and I’m not ready for this. “Thalia, give him another chance. You’re stubborn and for good reason, but for me, please try.”
“I love you,” I say honestly. I’m not ready to lose Mimi yet, and if this is how I’m feeling, I’m sure Sebastian is hurting a million times worse. “I’ll try.”
~
I’m giving Sebastian a few minutes alone with Mimi. My eyes are watering at the sight of Bash kneeling next to Mimi’s grave, his parents’ plots right to the left, and his grandfather’s to the right. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know, and he keeps losing people.
Being here with Sebastian makes me think about how right Mimi was the last time I saw her. I thought she was nuts, but the truth is that Mimi knew exactly what she was talking about. It feels full circle that we’re here together, and I like to think that Mimi is smiling down at us.
The last time Sebastian and I were both here at the same time would have been the funeral, and that…that was an awful day. If there were a page I wish I could rip from our story, it would be that day.
I shake off the thought, wiping my tears away before they can fall as I wrap his jacket tighter around me.
I feel terrible for not noticing he wasn’t sleeping. He never said anything, but I never asked. I didn’t even connect the dots with his parents’ car accident and the impact seeing Owen get hit might have had on his mental state. Once he said something, it was so obvious I don’t know how I didn’t see it.
I guess I haven’t been aware of a lot, though. It took two weeks before I could confidently recall what day it was, and the extent of the accident. It took a few more days before the light sensitivity slowly went away, but I’m still getting headaches that feel like my head is splitting open.
We’ve talked a bit more about moving in together, and I asked Penelope if she wanted to take over the lease for the house we were renting together. She plans to keep a room there, but her sister in France just learned she was pregnant, and she wants to go back for a little to spend time with her family. Instead of keeping it empty, she suggested offering the two extra bedrooms to Chris and Henry.
Bash rises to his feet, turning around to look for me and I smile reassuringly at him. I don’t ask if he’s okay, because it’s a pretty safe assumption he’s not. Once he’s close enough, I pull him into a hug. I took my sling off a few days early, I’m sick of wearing it, and it feels good to hold him with both arms instead of one, especially today. Sebastian brought peonies for Mimi, and another bouquet of flowers for me this morning. I swear he keeps every single flower store within a ten mile radius in business from how often he brings flowers home.
Bash holds onto me tightly and I rest my head on his chest. “You’re doing great, Sebastian. She’d be so proud of who you are.”
“Do you think so?” he asks quietly, and I wish he could see himself the way Mimi saw him.
I angle my head back so he can see that I’m telling the truth. “I really do.”
The answer seems to help whatever inner turmoil he’s experiencing. “Thank you,” Sebastian says, pressing a short kiss to my forehead. He leads us back to the car, and I know that today is an awful day, but that’s not what Mimi would want.
After getting in the car, he glances over at me. His dark hair hangs in his face from running his fingers through it, and I reach over to comb it back into place. Sebastian smiles appreciatively, his whiskey eyes softening. “Ready to go home?”
“No. I think we should go to the beach.”